Attraction

Gratitude: 11 Universal Laws for ThanksLiving

2007-10-12T01:52:00.000-07:00

Gratitude: 11 Universal Laws for ThanksLiving

The Law of Thanksgiving

It's easy to be grateful around the Thanksgiving holiday. But what if we were able to find ourselves feeling grateful year round? What that might change about your life?

The Law of Who Past

To whom in the past are you grateful? Someone who gave you a break, someone who cared about you, inspired you, believed in you, or someone who simply listened to you? Have you ever sought them out to thank them, perhaps just a phone call to say thanks? As someone who has made those kind of calls, it really feels good to express your gratitude. And as someone who has had the privilege of being on the receiving end of those kind of calls, it sure can make your day, your week, or more.

The Law of Who Now

For whom are you grateful for in your life right now? Have you let them know lately how much you appreciate them? If not, give the gift today!

The Law of Attitude

Gratitude is simply an attitude. The one thing we can always choose each day, in any situation, is our attitude. Therefore, we always have the ability to choose an attitude of gratitude.

The Law of Abundance, Part 1

One great benefit of a gratitude attitude is you become much more aware of the abundance you already have in your life.

The Law of Abundance, Part 2

Another great and unexpected benefit of a gratitude attitude is that, with this consistent attitude of gratitude, you seem to be able to draw even more and more abundance into your life.

The Law of Abundance, Part 3

Author Stephen Glenn has this definition of abundance; "In terms of the population of the planet, you have abundance if, when you wake up each morning, you have:

a choice of what to eat
a choice of what to wear
a job to go to
a way to get there."

The Law of Lacking

If we focus on all the things we want and don't have, we wind up feeling lacking. Not a great state to be in.

The Law of Blessed

When we focus on all the many things we need and want that we do have, we wind up feeling blessed. A pretty great state to be in.

The Law of Focus

Have you ever noticed that what you consistently focus on tends to be what happens? I've also noticed that when we focus on what we lack, we tend to get selfish, looking out only for ourselves. On the other hand, when we focus on our blessings, it's much easier to look out for others as well as ourselves.

Power Affirmations Are Not Enough

2007-10-12T01:51:00.000-07:00

Power Affirmations Are Not Enough

I hope this article finds you safe and well. I'm sure you have been as moved as I have in watching the devastating damage caused by Hurricane Katrina. I want to use this as an opportunity to remind myself and everyone who reads this article that affirmations alone are not enough. They are only thought tools to help you take consistent, positive, focused action. If all you do is repeat Power Affirmations, listen to Power Affirmations, etc., but don't allow them to move you to action, they will have no effect.

The True Power in Power Affirmations

What is the power in Power Affirmations (or any other thought tool for that matter)? The power is thought transformed into intelligent and persistent action. Too many times we start moving in a positive direction, but we allow ourselves to get distracted. And as soon as that happens, we lose momentum. Then when we refocus our efforts, we have to start over again. This starting/stopping, starting/stopping habit is one that is often one of the reasons significant success is so difficult. One of the primary purposes of Power Affirmations is to keep yourself focused on your goals. To keep the momentum towards your goals going.

The point of this is that only action is action.

Positive People Must Show Leadership

The other point of this note is that I believe that those of us who are positive, proactive people have a responsibility to help others--especially when a major disaster strikes. If positive people don't step up to offer assistance, who will? There are hundreds of thousands of people whose lives will never be the same. The extent of the devastation is almost too great to comprehend.

If you have studied the Power Affirmations at www.poweraffirmations.com, you will see that one of the affirmations in the wealth section, is stated:

"I now give away massive amounts of wealth to causes that I believe in."

And another one is:

"I have a responsibility to accumulate vast sums of wealth through useful service to others and to give it back to society through gifts that benefit the entire community."

Why talk about giving money away in a section about accumulating wealth? It's because you cannot build true wealth without giving to others. When you give intelligently, it opens up channels to accumulate more wealth. When you hoard your wealth, the channels dry up. This is one of the great paradoxes of the universe.

Support the American Red Cross

I think one of the most outstanding organizations that is equipped to help in this kind of emergency is the American Red Cross. Time and again this organization is on the ground quickly and for the duration when unforeseen disaster strikes. They have the means and the expertise to help. What they need from us more than anything is money. They have the ability to transform money into the very supplies the victims need in this situation whether it's food, water, shelter, medicine, etc. They transform money into these supplies in the same way a business person transforms ideas into products that can be sold to create more money. There's an incredible lesson to be learned here for those who take the time to think about it.

So I've written this article in support of the American Red Cross. Of course, I've already made my contribution. If you choose to donate to the American Red Cross, their website address is http://www.redcross.org/. It's not the first donation I've made to the Red Cross and it certainly won't be my last.

Between this disaster and the tsunami, the rebuilding of these communities in the US and abroad will take years and billions of dollars. BILLIONS.

Personally, I prefer my giving to be private so as to never have the appearance of an ulterior motive. Watch the movie "The Magnificent Obsession" starring Rock Hudson if you want to know how I prefer to handle my giving.

The primary reason I have written this article is because the need is so great. This is about encouraging everyone to take collective positive action to help an outstanding organization help the victims of this disaster. Whether your donation is $5 or more, every bit helps them fulfill their mission.

If we work together, we will make this world into a more positive place for all of us. But affirmations alone are not enough. Our thoughts must be translated into positive, persistent, and focused action.

How to Escape Out of Thought Traps?

2007-10-12T01:50:00.000-07:00

How to Escape Out of Thought Traps?

Have you ever been really sure about something, only to find out you were mistaken?

Did you notice how you operated "as if" you were correct? You may have even seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled the world in a way to support your stance. And perhaps you felt you had solid logic to support this position.

So how did the possibility of an opposite opinion make its way through your logic and basically the reality as you knew it, to get you to change your mind?

Did you fight hard to stay where you were? Did you go through so called "denial"? Did you lock in to your position, and build up a wall to prevent entry of any contrary thought?

Now the question I have for you is, "Were you keeping them out or were you trapping yourself in?"

In sales, a prospect may be dead-set in his view about a particular product or service. Now the sales rep may know that the prospect does not have all the facts yet, so he sets out trying to convey this to the prospect.

One of two things can result. One the prospect tightens the grip on his view or two he begins to shift his perception. Now this of course depends on the rapport and sales strategy used by the sales professional to enter into the prospect's "thought blockade" and free him from that "one" perspective. Listen to the conversations around you, perhaps even the words coming out of your own mouth, are you building your own thought blockade or "thought trap"?

If so, how do you get out? Then (If so desired!) how do you get others out?

RECOGNIZE THE TRAPS!

Let's start by looking at the traps of the intellectual mind, the one who weaves such wonderful webs of logic that leaves us feeling good while keeping us quite stuck.

Trap One: Being Right

I often tell the couples l work with, "Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?" Surprisingly, I see quite a lot of incongruent responses. It is like they know they should say "be happy" and (that's why they do), but in fact, they really want to say "be right".

Now the real interesting thing is that the intellect wants to be right, regardless of you being right or not. Confused?

Then let's make an important distinction.

You are not your intellect! You the being (soul) are much, much more! The intellect's limitations are not your limitations to the degree that you can separate your "self" (soul) from the intellect. Recognizing these traps and how to avoid them will help in that separation process.

Trap Two: Validation

The intellect seeks constant validation. It is constantly saying recognize me, notice me, "Hey! I'm over here!" Whether it is validation from authorities or peers, this need for validation becomes a crucial trap to avoid.

Kids learn this early on. A child comes home with their report card in hand and an eager look of anticipation, waiting for those few key words, "Oh honey, you did great!" Yeah! The kids can now feel worthy. Now imagine what happens when this is compounded over a few decades. Pretty soon we are all looking for validation in every direction.

Trap Three: Sharing

I've just got to tell you about this one. Oh you won't believe it. The intellect likes to share things. Through sharing it can feel more validated and of course be right.

Ever felt like crap and wanted to let others know that you felt that way? Did you hope they would sympathize with your story and tell you how right you are in feeling this way? Hoping they would validate your stance?

If so, then you fell into another trap to feed the intellect while starving your real self.

Trap Four: Safety

As the intellect spins its logic, forming a thought blockade, it is also creating a sense of safety. If it constructs well-thought-out logic that sounds reasonable, it is safe from any challenges.

So what happens when a contrary idea comes knocking on the door? The intellect's internal safety procedure is kicked in. You may have seen the behaviors that go along with such an internal process if you have ever challenged someone's "sacred cow."

A woman called me up a few weeks back and wanted me to see her son because he was very messy. She asked if I could hypnotize him to always clean up after himself. I told her that it certainly was possible; however I wanted to know a few things first.

So I asked her what happens to her when she sees that he hasn't cleaned up after himself? She replied with great tension in her voice, "Well that just makes my blood boil!" So I asked if it always made her blood boil. She stammered, "Yes!"

Then I asked her what she thought about her response she had to his messiness. I asked her what kinds of effects she thinks this may be having on her own body, her health. I continued by saying, what if she could see a messy room and her blood not boil. Talk about running full force right into a sacred cow. (Moooove!)

Her intellect's safety alerts kicked in immediately. She got very defensive and went on tirade about how she was right, and no one could see all that she went through day in and day out, raising three kids while working, and if her blood didn't boil she would become just as lazy as her son, and the whole house would be a wreck.

Then she ended the call by saying that she was perfectly fine, and it was her son who had the problem.

Now how many of you identified with her story, sympathized with her stance? Did you get sucked into the trap? Did you let her logical retort validate your own stance?

Go back and read it again. What did she do? How did she trap herself? Her intellect screamed bloody murder the moment we came up on her sacred cow of cleanliness.

It started by building a logical argument around why she was right and he (or me, for challenging her) was in the wrong. She used that along with the lack of validation and recognition from everyone else to validate her logic. And finally, she felt compelled to share it with me to externalize the trap and manifest it into reality.

By sharing, the logic is not just a construct in her mind anymore. Adding voice and breath to it begins to give it a life of its own. This is where the pointing begins. And remember whenever there is one finger pointing outwards, there are three fingers pointing back to the person doing the pointing.

Getting Out of the Trap

Now that you know what to look out for, you can begin using the tools below to stay out as well as help others to stay out of those thought traps. Remember this takes practice. The hardest step is to recognize it. The moment you do recognize it you are in a sense already on your way out. But then it is about freeing yourself from the logic that the intellect has spun around the trap.

Even then you may find it is easier to spot other people's traps quicker than your own. And the reason for that is because your own logic is most seductive to you not to others. So while they may be seduced by their logic, you can clearly see through it. And it certainly works the other way around as well. So go slowly with this at first. You don't want to find yourself at the end of the week with no friends because you challenged all their sacred cows without maintaining rapport.

Now the simplest way is to first recognize the trap and then begin questioning it.

Who, What, Where, When, and How.

Avoid "Why" because you will only get justifications, which only help build the thought blockade stronger.

For example, when working on your own thought trap, you may want to begin like this:

Who says you're right? How do you know? According to what criteria? When am I wrong? When was the last time? Where was it? What was going on then? Who was I wanting validation from then? How did I get it then? What did I do as a result of it? What other choices did I have available to me then? What about now? How would things be different if I responded differently?

If you are familiar with the meta-model, you can use it to guide you to different ways of looking at the trap? And as you start finding the edges, the boundaries of the confine, you can find the doorway out of the trap.

Another tool is to use your vertical and lateral thinking strategies to leap you or others out of the trap. In some cases, these strategies will not get you totally out of the trap, but it will begin expand the boundaries, giving you an opportunity to find your way out. Let's use the lady who called me as an example.

(Staying vertical to her position) I could have said to her, "Well, if you can't keep a house a clean without your blood boiling, then perhaps you should hire a 24-hour maid."

Vertical thinking leads you up and down the same line of thinking, regardless of whether you are speaking at levels of abstraction or levels of specificity; the topic doesn't change.

(Going lateral to her position) Or I could have said, "A friend of mine had a problem with a wrecked house, so she went out and got herself an apartment-No more wrecked homes."

Lateral thinking begins one place and ends up at an entirely different place. A conversation may begin at A and end up at D, with transitions B and C explicitly stated or just processed internally by one or both parties.

As you begin discovering your own traps, whether they appear as beliefs, values, or ideals, and regardless of how many layers of logic that are piled on top, you now know how to dig your way out. The more you do this, the more flexibility you will create within your own system. You will find that you don't fall into your own thought traps or anyone else's.

The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike

2007-10-12T01:49:00.000-07:00

The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike

There are numerous sources on the store bookshelves and the Internet that cover the topic of how our Consciousness shapes our reality through thought and feeling.

.. and it's easy to glaze over it when you've read it over and over:

Like Attracts Like, and staying focused on a single goal gets you to that goal.

And what eventually happens after reading enough material on this, is that this constant re-hash of this principle of The Law Of Attraction can start to blur on your scale of importance. It just loses its position on your radar.

You might then make the mistake of seeing these Universal principles as merely: Inspirational and Feel-Good. The new ideas then start sounding old, and they get relegated to merely being something that promote a "Positive Attitude" and "something I will try out some day".

The Law of Attraction is always at work in your life every second of every minute. It doesn't stop working just because you quickly make a mental note to "get back into these techniques" later, and then close a particular book you're reading on these concepts.

You are an electromagnetic being Attracting that which you ARE, vibrationally-speaking, all the time.

One of my favorite websites has concrete techniques that supercharge your clarity on a particular objective you have, and at times I will close my internet browser without doing anything, promising myself to use a particular technique later.

But it is faulty to expect that the Universal Principle - that supplies the power behind this technique - will "turn off" while I go about the rest of my day generating feelings of being a victim and thinking thoughts of being deprived of what I want.

It's always "ON", and ... Even If I *DO* faithfully immerse myself in positive feelings by doing a Gratitude List in the morning, if I then later that day silently wish that the next door neighbor's new Infinite gets scratched so that I will feel better about not having one, what do you think my world will be like? That goes for all other thoughts of scarcity, jealousy, and judgements about others throughout the day.

So what I'm doing is basically applying the Universal Laws against me to a seriously detrimental and negative result. And this is what the vast majority of the people on this planet are doing: taking as evidence what they see in the current physical circumstances to prove what gifts that the gods decided they are worthy of receiving.

It is not an exaggeration to say that most people are in a Trance of believing that they are not the Source of their own environment and circumstances. They look for the Truth - outside in the material world - instead of inside themselves and in who are they are Being.

By "doing Life" this way, they are magnetizing more of this evidence, using their own allotment of the Infinite Power available to everyone.

Why not use this Power, consciously, to create a life worth waking up at 5AM every morning for? There will never be an instance when a Cosmic "Judge" decides that you have been unconsciously creating your life for too many years, and that because of that, you have to wait for another chance, in another life somewhere, some other time.

It's a dependable, immutable LAW that when you change Who You Are Being (through your vibratory thought frequency), even if you're 11

The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike

There are numerous sources on the store bookshelves and the Internet that cover the topic of how our Consciousness shapes our reality through thought and feeling.

.. and it's easy to glaze over it when you've read it over and over:

Like Attracts Like, and staying focused on a single goal gets you to that goal.

You are an electromagnetic being Attracting that which you ARE, vibrationally-speaking, all the time.

By "doing Life" this way, they are magnetizing more of this evidence, using their own allotment of the Infinite Power available to everyone.

It's a dependable, immutable LAW that when you change Who You Are Being (through your vibratory thought frequency), even if you're 115 years old, you begin attracting a new set of circumstances that match that new quality of Being.

If you are still alive with pumping blood, your Earthly life is being shaped by the frequencies of your thoughts, but more so the emotionally-carved beliefs that act as 24/7 thought- generators attracting those material equivalents.

5 years old, you begin attracting a new set of circumstances that match that new quality of Being.

Motivation for Life: What Would You Do if You Could Have a Do Over?

2007-10-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

Motivation for Life: What Would You Do if You Could Have a Do Over?

"The only thing it takes 365 days to change is a year" - Hypnotherapist David Block

"If at any time you make a mistake and want to change your selection, press the star key on the telephone pad." - AMC 20 Movie Theater recording

Both of the above quotes imply a radical shift in popular thinking about change. They imply that changes can be made quickly, and don't have to take a long, long time.

I am constantly searching for the very best "change tools" I can find to help the people with whom I work. I look for tools that offer rapid and effective change, and meet at least three criteria:

1) Simple - any one can use them

2) Profound - they work quickly and they last

3) Dependable - they work just about every time

Recently a friend shared with me a wonderful quote from professional speaker Brian Tracy that meets all these criteria and has the potential to be a very rapid and effective change tool. Here's the quote, in the form of a question:

"If you were starting over today, what would you do differently? Whatever your answer, start doing it now."

All of us would like to have a chance for a "do over" in some area of our lives. Well, maybe in many areas. Although we cannot change the past, this question offers great direction for making both the present and the future more like we would want it to be.

Let's look at several areas of our lives and some questions about what we might do over, and then start doing now.

In the area of relationships, would you:

Be closer to those around you? Stay in touch with people? Let those close to you know how much you value them?

In the area of family, would you:

Spend more time with them? Go more places with them? Throw out the ridiculous notion of quality time and replace it with quantify time?

In the area of marriage, would you:

Learn how to communicate more effectively? Make sure, on a regular basis, that your spouse knows they are #1 with you? Honor and cherish them. Remember those words? Ask your self, what am I contributing to making this a cool place to be?

In the area of education, would you:

Go back to school? Find out about something you've always wanted to know? Take a class you've always wanted to take? Take the time to get really good at something?

In the area of health, would you:

Get in and stay in the best shape you can? Get rid of some extra pounds? Remember, there's overweight people and there's old people, but there's not a whole lot of old overweight people. Eat in a way that supports you?

In the area of finances, would you:

Design a life instead of just making a living? Keep track of where the money goes? Work and live within a budget? Put away something for the future on a regular basis?

In the area of attitude, would you: Pay attention to yours? Model an attitude you would want friends and family to model? Find something positive in almost any situation?

I'm certain there are other areas of your life that you can apply this question. Remember folks, life is not a dress rehearsal, although most of us act like it is.

How to Get that It Factor Happening

2007-10-12T01:46:00.000-07:00

How to Get that It Factor Happening

Sitting here today in sunny Queensland Australia, I'm reflecting on what makes one person more attractive than another. Not just by physical attraction, but what makes them captivating. I've met absolutely gorgeous guys and girls that after spending five minutes with them, I'm already trying to find my escape route.

An occasion I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday, happened about 25 years ago. A friend of mine invited my family to visit him at a television station he worked at in Sydney. Of course we jumped at the chance! It's not every day you got such an opportunity!

We were met at the gate and were led down a corridor on the way to a sound stage. As I was passing by a room with an open door, I noticed blonde haired lady was having her hair done. It was Pamela Stephenson (Dr Pamela Connolly), wife of Billy Connolly. Our eyes met and she smiled at me. Her smile radiated the most amazing brilliant light which extended into and filled the entire dressing room! It was as if I was in the presence of an angel! Although I haven't followed her life, I vividly remember that 'it' quality about her.

Jennifer Hawkins has the 'it' quality as well. When she smiles she absolutely radiates with light. I have yet to speak with any woman who feels threatened by her or has said anything nasty about her.

John Travolta is another who is extremely charismatic and has the 'it' factor.

For me personally, I'm attracted to people who are confident, kind, humorous, smart and at peace with themselves.

So how can you get some of whatever 'it' is?

1. Peaceful individual's - those standing in their personal power - are relaxing to be around, so if you're not peaceful, get some meditation in, or yoga, tai chi, anything really that involves stilling the mind. Once you know how, apply it across all parts of your life. Tap into peace whenever you need and want.

2. Self-confidence is a huge attractor. Start moving out of your comfort zone by taking baby steps first. Increase the size of your steps as you become more familiar with what it is you're doing. I started to manage my website several months ago and this was very scary in the beginning. As I gradually became more adept my confidence in my ability grew and continues to do so.

3. Self-love follows closely behind the self-confidence. When you have love of self like a ripple on a pond it will permeate across all time and space.

4. Positive people inspire and motivate me. However, before you go ahead and start a huge positive talk fest with anyone and everyone, check out the mood of others around you. There's nothing worse than listening to someone talking to you about fabulously positive and great things if you're walking the dark night of the soul. Meet (or match) others where they're at first, then gradually build up the positive talk and watch the relationship unfold.

5. More on matching body gestures?move in unison with people, breath using their rhythm, always subtly and always with respect.

6. This is one point I always mention because of its importance. Be in the present moment. When you start a conversation with someone or they with you, be attentive, curious and interested in what they're saying. If you're matching their facial expressions remember to stop smiling and nodding when they're talking about something they find very distressing (unless you have a close relationship with them?).

7. Start reading newspapers, magazines, books (fiction and non-fiction). Then you will always have something to talk about. Find out what others are talking about.

8. Share some of yourself with others - not too much at the beginning of new relationships, and never reveal your entire life history in your first conversation!

9. Smile! A sincere smile is when it reaches your eyes.

10. Use your sense of humour, just make sure it's at an appropriate time and place. I once opened a speaking engagement with a funny story - all I heard were crickets! My next words were "moving right along now?."

So You Want To Win the Lottery

2007-10-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

So You Want To Win the Lottery

If we all got everything we wanted, most of us would have won the lottery by now. So what happens when we notice that we aren't getting what we want, even when we've been using Law of Attraction to manifest a particular desire for an extended period of time?

Wanting to win the lottery is a clear desire, therefore, you need to use Law of Attraction deliberately. If you're not getting evidence that your desire to win the lottery is manifesting, then you need to review the Law of Attraction formula and check to see if all three conditions for Deliberate Attraction are being met. All desires you may have, for example, attracting an ideal mate, an ideal client base, ideal health or an ideal abundance of money require these same three conditions.

Step 1: Clearly identify your desire
Step 2: Raise your vibration (Give Your Desire Attention)
Step 3: Allow it

So let's examine these three conditions with respect to manifesting a winning lottery ticket.

Step 1: Clearly identify your desire (You bought a ticket and you WANT to win.) Step 1 is done.

Step 2: Raise your vibration (You talk about and daydream about all the things you'll do with the money you win.) Step 2 is done.

If the only thing we needed to do is Step 1 and Step 2, most people would have everything they've ever become excited about. So as you observe that you've NOT attracted what you've been desiring (in this case, a winning lottery ticket), you'll need to check the three step process to find out what step needs your attention more often. In most cases it's Step 3 - Allowing.

Allowing is the absence of doubt. Doubt is a negative vibration that cancels out the positive vibration of your desire, so removing doubt will allow your desire to come to you. Removing doubt will speed up the manifestation of your desire.

One of the best tools for removing doubt is to start keeping a log or journal of all the ways in which you are attracting more abundance into your life, thus, you are finding proof! Abundance is simply energy and the more often you discover that you are aligned with the energy of abundance, the more often you will be removing doubt that you are Allowing your desire to win the lottery. For example, if you find money or someone buys you lunch or you find a great sale on an item you want to buy-this is all evidence that you are in alignment with abundance. Logging this evidence or tracking it in a journal will help you prove to yourself that you are aligning yourself more and more with abundance.

In short, how soon you'll win the lottery is determined by how much doubt you have about winning, and winning is all about removing that doubt thereby aligning yourself with the energy of abundance.

How Often Each Day Should I Read or Say My Desire Statement?

2007-10-12T01:44:00.001-07:00

How Often Each Day Should I Read or Say My Desire Statement?

The purpose of the Desire Statement is to support you in giving attention, energy and focus to your newly birthed desire. It teaches you how to language desires so they feel good.

The key to the Desire Statement is it needs to be TRUE for you. You'll notice that one of the recommended sentences is "I love how it feels knowing...." Using this sentence allows you to state your desire in a way that makes it true for you. When it is true for you, you send out a positive vibration. It's not a matter of how often you read or say your Desire Statement each day. Your goal is to give your desire positive attention, knowing that as you do that you are sending out a positive vibration.

Once you create a Desire Statement, you have completed step 1 and 2 of the three step Law of Attraction formula. Now you work is to Allow. Spend most of your time and energy there. Keep finding proof that you are manifesting something that is in alignment to your desire. When you celebrate and acknowledge something you have manifested, this proof helps remove the doubt and negative vibrations that prevent you from receiving your desire.

In short, it's not about how often you do each step of the Law of Attraction formula. The key point is to send out or offer a positive vibration with respect to your desire. Identify what you want, give positive attention, energy and focus to it, and remove the doubt and negative vibration you may be sending by celebrating proof as you find it.

Pretending Your Life As You Want It - True Power Series

2007-10-12T01:42:00.000-07:00

Pretending Your Life As You Want It - True Power Series

This is the sixth article in our "True Power" series. If you haven't been following the series, visit The ARTrepreneur to read the foundational material on beliefs before continuing.

All people live a structured existence that is entirely make-believe. For example, though we act as if it's true, there is no such thing as days of the week or hours in a day. These things are completely fabricated conventions. If an alien were to visit New York, and someone said, "Well it's Monday morning, everyone's off to work," the alien would nod politely and think, "How quaint. They regulate their lives into compartments." The alien would in no way mistake the custom for reality. He would recognize the custom as an idea. We pretend it's real, but we could pretend other customs just as easily.

There is no such thing as time really - no minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months. We pretend they exist, and structure our lives accordingly, but we could just as easily do it a different way. The day could be split in half and called "up" and "down." Someone named some cycles. There are other cycles and other names. Musicians, for example, often operate in a no-time zone. Lots of writers have inverted or highly individualistic work schedules. Many artists have made successful careers by following their own personal rhythms and beliefs. They never fell for, "That's the way it is," because they knew it was all pretend, and they could pretend their own structure just as easily as following someone else's.

If someone says to you, "the music business is brutal," refuse to believe it. If they want to pretend it's brutal, then they'll get that result. You won't be so easily deceived. There are actors who have made careers quickly in Hollywood because they didn't realize it was supposed to be hard. They weren't aware of the convention. Realize that all conventions that we call modern society are just ideas. Ideas are mobile. You can use them, discard them, and invent new ideas. In reality, there is no movie industry or art industry. In reality, there are never "Seven Steps to Anything." There are only ideas, and your ideas are as valid as anyone's, and certainly more valid for you.

Pretending Your Life As You Want It Exercise

There are two ways to do this exercise. Choose a time everyday, and pretend your life just the way you want it. See yourself in your mind doing the things you want to do the way you want to do them. This is much like the internal visualization exercises. You try to trick your mind into believing you're experiencing the ideal now.

If you are bolder, you can pick a day or even a longer period of time, and while you go about your day-to-day life, pretend that what you really want is happening. Have imaginary meetings, imaginary bank deposits, imaginary shows, imaginary dinners out. Physically, you may be doing the dishes, but mentally you're making your subconscious become accustomed to the ideal. The minute you do this, it starts to create the circumstances to make it happen. The less you negate the ideal, the less you say to yourself, "That's not realistic. I can't have it," the easier and faster it will be produced. By thinking freely about the ideal, you begin to whittle away at doubts. At some point you'll accept the ideal, and the pretend world and the actual world will begin to mesh.

Every successful person ignored the pretend circumstances outside themselves, and pretended, instead, to be who they wanted to be and live how they wanted to live. Pretending, then, is the essence of experience and, therefore, an essential quality. Your life is a masterpiece composed of ideas that motivate you to act. Be the creator of those ideas. Be moved by your own impulses and desires. Pretend your existence into what you want it to be. That's all anyone's doing anyways.

Follow Your Dream

2007-10-12T01:40:00.000-07:00

Follow Your Dream

If you have a dream, follow it. No matter how wild, outrageous, and improbable it may seem. If possible travel on your journey with friends who will support you. Friendship can keep your faith alive long after your energy and hope have been worn away.

Another thing you might want to do is to go where your probability of success is greatest.

When you work long and hard at the apparently futile, remember that your sense of futility is a lie; it is merely your conditioned mind reminding you of your limits; the lie seeks to eliminate your future promise.

Sooner or later, you'll get results.

Above all, in the throes of failure persist. Persistence can initiate success. When talent and effort have been exhausted, persistence will carry you through to the end. Sometimes all that is needed to change a hopeless situation is hanging on until you find the millionth pebble.

In the memorable words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never, never give up."

The mass appeal of movie-character Indiana Jones is that he symbolizes the quality of persistence. No matter how bad things get, he keeps on trying one more time.

Eventually, somehow, despite every reversal, he breaks through to his goal.

You, too, must learn the art of persistence. Persist when you're completely exhausted. Persist when all efforts fail. Persist when you feel hopeless. You will find your dream if you can persist long enough.

You may sometimes win through sheer luck. You may sometimes win through broad talent. But, eventually, neither luck nor talent will be enough, and the principle of persistence is all that you will have left. In the end, it may be that persistence is your only abiding friend. It will pull you through all the pain, all the toil, all the hardship. In the long run, persistence, more than any other trait of success, makes a true winner. Persistence pays. It pays handsomely. With persistence comes learning and adaptation. With persistence comes luck and change.

To succeed in anything, learn how to endure adversity, learn how to feel confident in the midst of obvious failure. Let no-one and nothing deter you from your heart's desire.

Water persistently washing against the hardest rock will eventually erode it away. Be as water. "Beware of no-one more than of yourself," said Charles Spurgeon. "We carry our worst enemies within us." When you give up, you let yourself down. You lose your chance at success. You also lose your self-confidence

Part II--The Journey to a State Called Authentic

2007-10-12T01:39:00.000-07:00

Part II--The Journey to a State Called Authentic

Are you on the road yet? If not, pony up your?.um, pony and pretend that you are gracefully cantering down the road toward that state called Authentic. Imagine that you're riding smoothly just like in the movies. But all of a sudden, your pony hits a rock and you go flying. This will happen. Perhaps not while riding a pony, but in some way as you are living your Authentic Self. Roadblocks surface usually when you're in a wonderful flow, suddenly turning harmonious song into banshee wail. Here are a few tricky roadblocks to watch out for:

Invisible Rules-These are declarations which appear to be universally subscribed to as long-accepted truisms. They seem unquestionably abided by but they actually aren't. We are often not aware of the Invisible Rules that we follow: "My hair & make-up have to be 'done' before I leave the house" or "Women over a certain age should not work short skirts." Invisible Rules create an obstacle because they stop us in our Authentic Self tracks by requiring that we change who we are in order to be like 'everybody else', to conform. They trip us up by their false appearance. 'Everybody else' does their hair before they head out the front door. Or do they?

Bright Shiny Objects- They glitter, vibrate, bounce or blink. In short, they distract. While BSO's might not lead you away from your Authentic Self forever, they do prevent you from fully living your Authentic Self. BSOs act like sugar; they don't add anything to our Authentic Self diet, just a momentary false high. BSOs are different for everyone. To determine yours, ask yourself what your not-so-obvious weaknesses are. These can be an area that has been a strength but presently may be over-accessed or used as a crutch. BSO's sometimes show up in these areas. One huge BSO for me is the Internet. I sometimes gorge myself by replying to non-essential emails right away or perusing various sites under the guise of 'research' when I really need to be working on program design for a new client. The distracting dazzle doesn't last long once you feel the absence of Authentic fulfillment.

Indigenous Excuses- These suckers are so deeply ingrained in your persona that you probably don't even notice their presence. Indigenous Excuses are dangerous because they become like a truth in our mind so since we aren't tuned into hearing the difference, we live our life by a false truth. Some examples are: "I can't afford to advertise" or "It's not the right time to _____ (fill in the blank here: look for a new job, buy a house, start dating again)". Be aware that what you're really saying here is "I won't" as in "I won't advertise my company" or "I won't admit that I am looking for a perfect {read: non-existent} time to start _____." Indigenous Excuses don't allow our Authentic Self to move forward because they keep us stuck in the realm of the changeless past that wasn't working in the first place.

Temptation of Perfection- Perfection can creep into an Authentic Self project or it can worm its way into a conversation. Perfect is the anti-Authentic. When we attempt to introduce perfectionism into something, the Authentic Self ceases to exist. One way that perfection enters conversations is by the need to have the last word or to make someone else's point of view wrong. Instead of allowing perfection in, develop your outside eye-the watcher who observes your actions and thoughts with detachment. Allow that eye to peer into your interactions and act as a guard against the tendency toward perfection. Once perfectionism is spotted, it is easier to stop, drop and roll?and get back to living your Authentic Self.

Once you've identified what roadblocks you are the most susceptible to, it is easier to deal with them. Acknowledge them for what they are. Ultimately these roadblocks are non-essential Authentic Self traps that we fall into, either deliberately as an avoidance method or unintentionally as a bad habit that we hadn't known we had. What distracts you from your Authentic Self? Which roadblock causes particular chaos in your life? Let me know. Now, where did that pony go?

Successful Living: 9 Universal Laws

2007-10-12T01:38:00.000-07:00

Successful Living: 9 Universal Laws

1. The Law of Balance

I got an email from a wise friend the other day who had this to say,

"Whenever I am out of balance in one area of my life, I usually end up binging, (going to excess) in some other area of my life."

Even sunshine burns if you get too much.

2. The Law of Competition

There are many times when competition is an extremely healthy thing. There are other times, however, when it can get in our way. Because there will always be people who we do better than and there will always be people who do better than us, the danger is to feel either arrogant or inferior, neither of which is a very useful emotion.

One answer is to be in competition with your self. This simply means to commit to doing better and better in each day. As Colonel Potter said to Hawkeye on an episode of M*A*S*H, "The only person you need to do better than is your self, and that's a big enough challenge."

3. The Law of QTIP

Here's an instant stress buster & perspective changer from professional speaker Tim O'Brien:

"Quit Taking It Personally."

4. The Law of Perspective

Author Richard Back said, "Perspective: use it or lose it."

Losing perspective is one of the quickest ways to lose your way in life. On the other hand, using your perspective, even seeing a different perspective is a most effective tool.

5. The Law of Stress

Believe it or not, we all need a little stress in our lives. Too little, and there is no motivation for change. Too much, and we begin to shut down and get overwhelmed. It's important to know your optimal level of stress and then do all the necessary things to keep your stress in balance.

6. The Law of Passion

The happiest people I know are those that are passionate about something in their lives. Even happier people get to earn their living pursuing their passion. What's your passion? How could it support you?

7. The Law of Freud

I've never been a big fan of Freud. At the same time, he did have this usefeul thing to say:

"To be happy, we all need some one to love, something to do, and something to hope for."

8. The Law of Hope

Never, ever, never give up hope. Hope for the future, in and of itself, keeps us moving in the right direction.

9. The Law of 10,000

One of my favorite change stories is called "The Room of 10,000 Monsters." In this room, all your worst fears, anxieties and nightmares are played out in front of you as if they were real. You walk in and close the door behind you. There is no handle on the inside of the door. The only door with a handle is across the room. If you can walk across the room and reach the door, you will reach Nirvana. (Not the rock group, but happiness and contentment.) You have to go by yourself, with only two pieces of advice. The first is no matter what you see, hear or feel, remember that it's not real, it's just taken from your own imagination. That's good advice, but if your biggest fear is of heights and you see your self on the edge of a 20 story building, you're not likely to get anywhere. The second piece of advice is that no matter what you see, hear, or feel, keep your feet moving, and you will get to the other side.

A Story Of Unbelievable Persistence

2007-10-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

A Story Of Unbelievable Persistence

Dick and Jay sat on the ground outside the shed. The rain pelted down on them. They stared in disbelief at the lake of mud all around them. The Piper Cub slumped in the mud a few feet in front of them. Neither a wet bird nor muddy squirrel could be seen.

"It's going to be like this for some time," said Jay, gloomily, "according to the weather report."

Dick feebly told the joke about the weatherman who left town because the weather didn't agree with him--but neither of them laughed. The rain fell without remorse.

"Boy, boys, boys," said a beautiful woman with auburn hair. She had a fresh complexion. She wore a wet, slightly muddy, mauve dress. She sat down between them, covering them with her pink umbrella.

Dick kissed his wife on the cheek. He reached down into the vanilla box for his sandwich. The box tumbled out of his hands and landed in a puddle. It floated.

"That's it," shouted Jay. He grabbed Dick's elbow. "Don't you see- that's it!"

It only took a day to add the inflated pontoon boats to the Piper Cub. Now instead of wheels, it had floats. Now, instead of the muddy runway, they used the river.

But another calamity awaited: a lightning storm. A bolt of lightning struck the hut, shattering it.

Without an office, it was hard to run operations.

Dick, however, found a solution. He bought a chicken coop from the farmer down the road for $25.

"One last yard," said Dick, talking to the old mare. The mare grunted as it dragged along the chicken coop.

After propping up the chicken coop, Dick began whitewashing it.

"There," said Dick, slapping on the last coat.

He stepped back to join his wife, Doreen, and his partner, Jay. All of them admired the bright chicken coop. It proudly bore the blue legend "Wolverine Air Service."

"Soon," said Dick, "Millions will be flying their own planes. They'll come to us and we'll teach them."

"And it only cost us $200 to get this Piper Cub," added Jay.

"Airplanes will swarm the air, the way cars do the ground," predicted Dick.

Just then a freckled-faced young man came up to them.

"Is this your school?" he asked, squinting at Dick.

"Have you come for lessons?" asked Dick.

"Darn right!"

"We'd love to teach you, but we don't know how to fly!" confessed Dick.

A few days later, however, they found a flight instructor. Dick straightened out the sheaf of papers on his ramshackle desk as the last interviewee walked out of the shack. He looked over at Jay. "Well?" Jay nodded. "I like him."

"Then we have a new flight instructor," said Dick, smiling broadly.

The next day, Dick and the new flight instructor stood outside the chicken coop office.

"How are you going to pay me?" asked the flight instructor, a tall man with thick dark hair and brilliant blue eyes.

"Cash," said Dick, unruffled.

"But you said a moment ago that you don't have any money?"

"I don't," confirmed Dick, "but they do."

The flight instructor turned around to follow Dick's finger. He had to chuckle. On the edge of the field was Jay whooping in a group of three eager students, all trussed up in flight gear. They were wet to their thighs from wading across the river.

"They'll be the first to graduate," affirmed Bob, the new flight instructor.

This is the story of Richard M. DeVos and his high-school buddy, Jay Van Andel, who came home after the Second World War convinced that the aviation business would be the trend of the future.

What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement

2007-10-12T01:36:00.000-07:00

What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement

A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states:

"A man who has attained mastery of an art reveals it in his every action"

This saying is one of my personal favorites. There is so much depth to its meaning. Allow me to discuss it a little and explain how it will be able to benefit you.

First, a question: What is the single greatest thing that you can do with mastery and excellence? Don't say: "nothing." Everybody is good at something. Just think for a moment.

There will be one thing that you can do perfectly time and time again. It is the thing that is so ridiculously easy for you to do that you can do it with your eyes closed, almost standing on your head - so to speak. It may be a simple thing or it may be something quite complex, but whatever it is you make it look easy.

In fact, you are so good at it you make other people think that they can do it easily too - until they try. It might be a sport like tennis or something as mundane as making scones or cupcakes.

It's amazing how a champion tennis player can make the game look so simple. Or how a master cook can seemingly slap ingredients together and come up with an absolute masterpiece of culinary delight.

So what is it? What are you a master at? Keep that thing in mind while I diverge back to the samurai for a moment - a little bit of history.

The samurai lived by the sword and died by it. They were so adept at reading body movement that they were able to draw their swords and use them with deadly effect against opponents in the mere blink of an eye. Their observations and reflexes were finely honed, principally because their very existence depended on it. But did you know that they were able to transcend their ability with the sword into other arts? Many of them were also master poets. Others were highly skilled calligraphers. Others became very skilled in the art of the tea ceremony. Some became master carpenters.

Have you noticed how these "ancillary" skills are so diametrically opposed to their military expertise with the sword? So how and why did they engage in these things? Could it be that they were "balancing"

Wise Hericlitus

2007-10-12T01:34:00.000-07:00

Wise Hericlitus

"You cannot step into the same river twice"

Hericlitus spoke those words around 500BC. A very wise man, Hericlitus.

The phrase points out to us that just as rivers flow on, so does time. Just as your foot will dip into the river, but it wont be the same water as before, so too, we only get one shot at each moment.

We must make full use of each of our moments, each toe in the river. For we cannot have them back, should we waste them.

Take today and make a commitment to your OWN health. Make a commitment to live as fully and healthfully as you can. Make a commitment to be good to yourself, by pushing yourself to full health.

We are like the river. We change moment by moment. You are not exactly the same person you were an hour ago. New cells have grown, hair is longer (if only by a micro-bit) and you have had thoughts for an hour longer than before. Perhaps a new piece of wisdom has been gained.

The trick, is to accept and revel in the ever-changing flow of life. Allow yourself to change. Grow.

When we try to make life remain the same, we wonder why we fail. Life changes just like the river. Just like us. Life moves along, with no attention to whether we're moving with it. Life doesn't care if we do or not.

Life offers us its new self each moment. It is up to us whether we reach out and embrace it in all its panoramic change.

One can never know what lies ahead on this ever-changing road. Might be good, might be not so good. But we cannot know until we set out. We cannot reap the possible rewards unless we keep on going.

Do You Have an Exit Plan?

2007-10-12T01:33:00.000-07:00

Do You Have an Exit Plan?

Recently, I came across something strikingly shocking, fascinating, obscure, and yet, completely obvious.

Few of us have an "Exit Plan."

An Exit Plan is a comprehensive, compelling, strategy for leaving feeling fantastic.

When you aren't experiencing exactly what you expected; when it's clear that the vision you see has become blurry-or is simply no longer your own-it's not uncommon to contemplate moving on.

In the scorching heat of any moment, it's very easy (and most times, unwise) to say, "I'm out of here!"

Resist the temptation.

More often than not, leaving on a wilted whim will wreak havoc in the immediate hours, days, and quite possibly, years to come.

Remember that.

Whether your departure is involuntary or not, walking out any door for the last time need not lead you to the end of your world.

Consider an Exit Plan. Whether you're irritated, frustrated, agitated or just exceptionally motivated ... it's imperative that you have a strategic plan for exit, before you move on. An exceptional Exit Plan will bring steady to your rocked world and prepare you for your "what's next." It automatically leads you to an exciting future, because you adopted-in advance- a willingness to let go of your past.

The key is to create your exit plan before moving on. Make sure it details not only how you are going to manage your resources and immediate needs, but why you are going to sustain your lightheartedness, self-esteem, humor and what's most important to you.

The intrinsic value of your Exit Plan is determined by your ability to implement it. You must know exactly what it is you are seeking. Revisit who you are, what you truly desire to do, and where you want to go.

"Why am I committed to enthusiastically pursue new opportunities?"

"Who are the resources, supporters and mentors of my God-given gifts and talents?"

Questions like these will empower, encourage, and ultimately connect you with your vision.

Get very clear. What is it that will give you the greatest fulfillment? Don't just think in financial terms. Think in terms of contribution, relationships and your personal values.

Overcoming Underearning - Recognizing the Problem and Taking the First Steps Towards A Solution

2007-10-12T01:32:00.000-07:00

Overcoming Underearning - Recognizing the Problem and Taking the First Steps Towards A Solution

Underearning is a process of not really making enough to support oneself wisely and comfortably. It is usually rooted in a combination of poor information about how money actually works in the real world, limiting beliefs and attitudes about money, and a set of financially destructive habits related to organization and money management.

Many underearners start to naturally move out of this cycle and toward higher earning but are unable to complete the process. They never make the full transition from underearner to comfortable earners and seem to struggle with these money issues most of their lives despite genuine effort to change. The reason for this is that most underearners either do not know that they are underearners or they do not know what the process of leaving underearning behind actually looks like.

If you ask, many underearners will tell you that they are doing just fine - that they are making enough money to get by and take care of themselves. These same underearners will also readily tell you that they have had bad luck, unexpected expenses, and personal crisis that have thrown them financially off track and have caused stress. Usually these setbacks happen on a fairly regular basis. It seems that they start to get ahead and then something happens and they fall behind again.

For some this may be an economic reality related to skills, education, and cultural opportunities. For many however it is something much different:

1. They were not doing fine in the first place- they were underearning and
2. They confuse progress with setbacks when overcoming underearning and either give up altogether or retard their progress with unnecessary effort and worry.

Underearners need to get in the habit of acknowledging that they need to earn more than they think they do. Part of the cycle of crisis and defeat that underearners experience is created by the fact that many expenses seem unexpected when they in fact should be expected. If there is not extra money on hand for health emergencies, equipment failures, vacations, and time spent being out of a job, then there is not really enough money. None of these things are fun, but all of these things are facts of life in our times and we need to plan and earn for them.

Although most underearners know this on some level, they often ignore it because they feel powerless and overwhelmed. This is particularly true when those "unexpected" expenses do come up that they simply did not have the cash to deal with before; even if they had planned on them. One tool for breaking the cycle of underearning is to realize that those discouraging expenses may not be a sign of failure; instead they may be a call to action and a significant opportunity for change.

The most common sign of progress in overcoming underearning is in fact the unexpected expense. Something good will happen, either a better job or reduced daily expenses and it will seem as if things are really going to change financially, and then spending seems to suddenly increase. The underearner on their way to higher earning seems to lose all progress and confidence in the face of expenses and/or debts that are once again increasing. Huge progress is available to the underearner who does not fall into this trap and instead uses the setback as a tool for exploring their underlying relationship to money.

For most underearners overspending is not the issue, not earning enough to pay for life's normal setbacks is the issue. Paradoxically, the first key to breaking the earnings barrier actually is not to try to earn more but to change how you respond when you spend more. How you emotionally respond to spending to clean up old debts, obligations and needs can help you to change the way you think about money and the options you have for earning it.

Most underearners go through a period on their road to wealth where they have to clean up the old effects of not having had enough ready cash on a consistent basis in the past. The irony of the universe is that this usually happens about the time that the underearner is suddenly starting to earn more, and or encounter more professional opportunities. An example of this is when you get a bonus at work and then suddenly your car breaks down and you spend everything extra on getting it fixed. It is a process that can be very discouraging, if you do not see it for the opportunity it is. Unfortunately most people become so discouraged that they return to destructive thinking habits and action habits.

They say to themselves "Earning more just means spending more, why bother? I will never really get ahead!" What is more, they often follow this internal statement up with the external action of spending money impulsively and/or ignoring bills and financial duties they need to attend to, because they "just can't deal with it right now."

One of the keys to permanently breaking through the underearning barrier is to realize that sometimes unexpected expenses are not a sign that life is hard and you can never get ahead. Sometimes they are a sign that you are gaining new sources of energy, clearing up the financial drains that lead to debt and underearning and creating a new relationship with money!

As you move your financial "set point" you will go through a phase of earning more and at the same time spending more on "old business" and unexpected expenses. Plan on it. This is natural. When it happens congratulate yourself. Even if it means you could not put your money toward what you planned on putting it toward. Realize you are making progress and resist the urge to judge yourself or others, and slip into thinking like a victim.

One of the keys here is to remember that money moves in cycles just like relationships do. On a date it is your job to appear as confident and attractive as you can. Even when you are nervous. When more money seems to be going out than coming in, or when you are increasing your income but not yet seeing an increase in discretionary spending you need to remember this analogy and "date" your money. Be as appreciative of it as you can, get to know it better and show it your attractive side.

When you are on a date and your companion gets up to go to the restroom, you do not chase after them for fear they will leave and never come back. That is not an attractive strategy. Likewise when you find yourself spending more than you want to be spending fear, resentment and chasing after the money does not usually work. You end up communicating stress and resentment to others and to your own sub-conscious. You will therefore become LESS attractive to new sources of money.

When you find yourself with unexpected financial stress and expenses try the following things to facilitate change:

1) Acknowledge to yourself that you have been underearning. You don't have to know the solution right now, simply name the problem. Commit to yourself that you are open and willing to find a way to make more money with the same amount or less effort doing something you can enjoy and be proud of. It may seem impossible now, but if you do not set your intention that this is what you want, you will never find the opportunity to create it. Remember life is full of the unexpected there are probably unexpected options right around the corner you just have to focus on looking for them.

2) Take a moment to realize that your fear, stress and resistance might be more about the past than the present. Make a statement of forgiveness for yourself and others about your money past and then turn your attention to the present.

3) Show gratitude for spending money as well as earning money. When you spend money, you are getting something of value - whether it be an item you have a strong emotional desire for like a new toy, or one that does not seem so fun like paying off a debt. Get specifically grateful about your opportunity to spend money cleaning up your financial worries and energy drains and for the opportunity to increase your financial integrity. Try meditating on the phrase: I am grateful for clearing up my financial incompletes and reducing the ways in which I draw debt and underearning to me.

4) Increase your confidence, energy, and attractiveness around money by taking physical steps to improve your situation-that are not related to money. Reduce clutter by simply getting rid of 20 items you no longer want or need. Reduce overwhelm and self judgment by picking five phone calls you need to return or tasks you need to do that you have been avoiding and just DO IT. By getting into productive action you will change your attitude. By getting the systems working in your life just a little bit better you will be more available for opportunity when it knocks.

5) Stop saying no to offers of money, help or material goods unless it is clearly immoral, illegal or comes with significant strings attached. Do not try to control when, if, or how you are going to receive money. Instead just try to focus on the fact that it IS possible that you will continue to receive until what is coming in is more than what is going out. Focus on this even if you cannot personally imagine how that might be the case. Then stay in action and keep doing what you can to take specific practical actions to be more organized and caught up on your tasks.

Just taking these five steps can change your world. I cannot tell you how many underearners we have worked with through My Creative Prosperity who have taken the steps of acknowledgement, forgiveness, gratitude, action and receiving and have immediately seen significant financial results. People find cash, have jobs offered to them, effortlessly increase their sales and reduce expenses or get debts forgiven on a regular basis when they take these steps. Usually the money coming in defies logic or does not seem to be directly related to the steps the student was taking to change their relationship to money. And yet the money is there in cold hard cash - so does it really matter how it got there?

Living Life to the Full: 20 Steps

2007-10-12T01:31:00.000-07:00

Living Life to the Full: 20 Steps

1. Emotion: We are emotional creatures and as in all things avoid excess.

2. Do not hurry. Do not react to a "situation" whilst emotional. Always sleep on it for a day or two. A situation that needs to be settled immediately - quite simply it does not. It can wait.

3. Set goals. We need something to look forward too

4. Trust: we are not islands we must trust others. The secret is in choosing ones inner circle wisely.

5. Let your hurts go: it is just easier that way.

6. Seek wise council. Never listen to you heart when making an important decision. This is allowing emotions to rule your life and it is dangerous.

7. Network with others. The secret to success is always who you know.

8. The more pressure you are under the slower you must go.

9. Expect and embrace change as it brings success.

10. Develop a thick skin in life but don't become hard

11. Live every day to its full potential - this does not mean be as busy as possible - think about it. There are times to do nothing can be the most productive.

12. Do not blame others for your calamities [do not whine it is not attractive]

13. Live your own life and share it. Do not depend on other to live your life.

14. Find a soul mate with whom you can share you thoughts.

15. Look at your self first and do not be critical of others

16. There is more to life than highs and lows. Don't live life according to the next peak or the next valley. The small things in life are wonderful too.

17. Respect yourself but be not proud. No one loves the self seeking and proud

18. Look inward for happiness and then share it with others

19. Do not allow miserable feelings into your heart - take time to count your blessings.

20. Truly you place you own limitation - and remember one persons weakness is another's strength.

How to Develop the Awesome Power of Getting Other People to Cooperate With You

2007-10-12T01:29:00.002-07:00

How to Develop the Awesome Power of Getting Other People to Cooperate With You

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you never had to "lock horns" with other people? Well, there are some skills that you can learn.

Try this. Ask somebody to raise both arms so that they can touch the palms of their hands against yours. Don't worry about explaining anything to them. Tell them it is an experiment if you like.

Now you are facing the other person, you both have your arms raised and are "palm to palm." Start pushing. What happens? What does the other person do? Do it. The outcome is 100% predictable.

So, why, when you are seeking co-operation with another person should you be confronting to them? It doesn't make sense when you see it in this light, does it? What is your 100% predictable response when somebody starts forcing his or her wishes onto you?

Let's use an example. Do you say to your partner: "I want a cup of tea!"? Or, would it be better to say something like: "Darling, I'm really busy at the moment. I'd really like a cup of tea if you have the time to make it."

What does the second approach convey to your partner?

1 - You are really busy right now,

2 - You would really appreciate your partner making that cup of tea for you,

3 - You have shown concern for your partner's time.

Conversely, what does the first approach convey?

1 - You are rude

2 - You are arrogant

3 - You are lazy

It is far easier to attract bees to pollen than it is to gasoline.

Look at your language. When you desire somebody to do something for you do you sound like a military commander? What sort of body language do you use?

The easiest way to get co-operation from other people is to place yourself in their position. How would you like to be approached? How do you react to "orders?"

People are reluctant to respond favorably to orders, unless, of course, they are in the armed forces. But that is a different matter.

Governments, banks, insurance companies, lawyers, courts, politicians and employers all issue orders. How do most people react? They become defensive, unco-operative, resentful and at times, hostile.

Can you now see the awesome power of getting other people to co-operate with you with a willing heart? Might you now make a concentrated effort to couch your requests in terms that they find palatable?

Yes, this is an art. But like all arts, the more you practice it the more skillful you will become. Try it. You will be amazed at how co-operative people will become.

[If you like this article and would like to use it on your own website or ezine you may do so ONLY if the article is not changed in any way and the final paragraph: "About the author", with all links intact, is included.]

Maximizing Your Potential - How To Optimize Your Off-Peak Performance?

2007-10-12T01:29:00.001-07:00

Maximizing Your Potential - How To Optimize Your Off-Peak Performance?

We human beings naturally have two kinds of state that exist in us at any given time: peak state and off-peak state. Peak performance can be defined as "performing at your most optimal best at this time". An off-peak state would mean that we are not performing at the optimal level.

So "optimizing your off-peak performance" simply means to convert your non-peak performance to a peak performance state.

Suppose you hold a full-time job and you do Internet Marketing part-time. By the time you got home, you would quite likely be too tired to work on your online venture. At this moment, you are in an off-peak state because you cannot perform at an optimal level as compared to your work rate in your primary job. By using an "off-peak performance optimization" technique, you would be able to perform at your optimal level even though you are tired. In this scenario, a peak state would mean that you would be able to work just as effectively during 'off-hours'.

Regardless of any state that you are in, whether you procrastinate or you don't have the mood to write a special report just because you have a bad hair day, you will be ready, set and GO using this technique!

Now, let's imagine. If we could achieve X amounts of result during our peak state, what would it be like if we can double or even triple our results just by converting our non-peak state into a peak state? The effect is mind-blowing!

This technique is called "anchoring". An anchor is a stimulus that enables you to fire off any state that you want in an instant. A stimulus is anything you see, hear or feel.

There are 3 kinds of anchors: visual anchor, auditory anchor and kinesthetic anchor.

1) Visual anchors are visual sights that are neurologically linked to a particular state. Does your nasty supervisor's face makes you feel lousy when you go to work? At the sight of your girlfriend, do you have a wonderful feeling? Do you feel sleepy when you start reading your textbook?

2) Auditory anchors are sounds that are neurologically linked to a particular state. When someone shouts "FIRE" or "FIRE SALE!", does the sound of "FIRE" make you panicky? Does hearing beautiful sounds leave you a romantic feeling?

3) Kinesthetic anchor is when someone touches you in a certain way or you move in a certain way that fires off a particular state. Do you feel loved when you are hug by your loved ones? Do you feel like laughing when a clown moves in a funny way?

Whenever you are in an intense associated state, the state will be neurologically linked to the anchor. When this happens, all you have to do is to apply the same anchor repeatedly and you will immediately experience the same state consistently.

Here are 4 steps to creating a powerful anchor for any resourceful state:

1) Get into an intense, fully associated state. Think back to a time in the past when you felt a particular intense, fully associated state. Adopt the same physiology you were in. Assuming you wanted to anchor the state of motivation to work in front of your PC (or MAC!). Think of the time you felt totally motivated and adopt the same physiology, e.g. the same kind of sitting posture and breathing pattern when you felt totally motivated.

2) Apply the anchor at the peak of the state! A combination of an auditory and kinesthetic anchor would yield the best results, e.g. you could snap your fingers and shout "YES!"

3) Break the state, then repeat steps 1 & 2 at least five to ten times. Think of something else to break an unwanted state. Repeat steps 1 & 2 for five to ten times until the new anchor is successfully installed.

4) Test the anchor. Test the anchor to see whether it works. Get into the normal state and apply the anchor e.g. snap finger and shout "YES!" If it works, the anchor is installed successfully. The best way to test the anchor would be the time when you are not feeling motivated.

Success Is In Your Hands - For Things To Change, I Must Change First!

2007-10-12T01:27:00.000-07:00

Success Is In Your Hands - For Things To Change, I Must Change First!

Do you know that many people feel they cannot achieve what they want in life because they are not in control of their circumstances? Is it really so?

How many times have you heard this: "If only I had creativity like him, I would be able to develop innovative Internet Marketing products," or "if only I had the money to start the e-commerce business, then I would be able to set up a business"? Do you know that all these things are within our control the moment we change ourselves?

It sounds unbelievable but it's true! This requires a shift in your paradigm of thinking and it moves you from a powerless state to a state where you can actually take control. We will now take a look at 3 ordinary people like you and me who are able to achieve what they want in life through this simple principle.

David was a guy in his late 30s who was still actively looking for a partner to settle down. When I ask him why he had not settled down, he replied that he was still looking for his ideal partner. His idea of an ideal partner is a beautiful, smart, elegant and well-mannered lady. I started to ask him, "Would this ideal partner want to take you as her partner?" Immediately, he gets the idea. As David had messy hair, liked to drink and smoke, he realized that his ideal partner would never be attracted to somebody like him. He started to make an effort to comb his hair neatly and kicked his drinking and smoking habits. In a couple of months down the road, he finally found the ideal partner that he was looking for.

Mark was in the Internet Marketing business. He was not getting the sales result that he wanted to achieve. After attending a teleconference call by one of the Internet Marketing gurus, he realized the reason why he was not achieving the sales result he wanted was due to lack of planning and insufficient market research for his product. Mark evaluated his methods and began to make a conscious effort to change the way he works. He started to plan well and do sufficient market research before launching his product. The next product that he released was a runaway success!

Ken was a new teacher. He was allocated to teach the most mischievous class in the whole school. Many teachers in the school had already given up on this class. Initially, Ken tried the usual approach to teach the class, but it didn't work well. Ken started evaluating his method and decided to change his approach of teaching them. Instead of the usual one-way communication to the student, Ken engaged the students in the class through fun interactions and games. When the exam results was out, the class had dramatically improved their result.

Based on the above stories, we saw that in order to change the situation, the first change must come from within ourselves. Very often, we feel powerless to change our situation when we feel that things are not within our control. Through this simple principle of changing ourselves in order to change things, we have the power to take control rather than being a victim of the circumstances. When we take responsibility for what we get and change ourselves, everything and everybody will change with us! For things to change, I must change...FIRST!

So?

If you want to be the top Internet Marketer, work hard and work smart.

If you want to be the best employee, constantly value-add to the company.

If you want to find the perfect girlfriend, be that perfect boyfriend first.

Take a piece of paper and write down the top 5 things that you want to change and list down the 5 changes that you would take in order to change the situation. If you do not know what the problem is, kindly seek the help of a friend or loved one who can point it out to you. Start changing your life today!

Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today!

2007-10-12T01:26:00.000-07:00

Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today!

"If you can see it, you can have it." Is it really so simple? The answer is 'Yes'...and 'No'. If you can see it, you already got your first step right but if you can't even see it, your first step would be fatal right from the start. Let me put this in perspective. If you cannot 'see' where you are heading in your direction or 'see' the end results that you want to achieve, most likely you would give up halfway or even if you did have results, you wouldn't reap the maximum result had you first 'seen' it in your mind with maximum clarity.

For example, you are driving a car with no destination (not 'seeing') in your mind initially. After hours of driving along the road, you would still be on the road thinking of going back to your starting point (giving up) as you did not have a destination in the first place at all. Or you finally 'see' your destination at the end, but it took you 4 hours to reach the destination when it could have just taken you 1 hour to reach it had you 'seen' the destination right from the beginning.

Most people like to use the phrase "seeing is believing", meaning they must see it physically with their naked eye, and only then would they believe. However, if you could embrace this concept of 'seeing' the result in your mind, you are one step ahead of your competitors. Of course, to see the end result in your mind would take a lot of faith and belief to do so.

Does that really mean that if I can 'see' money fall from the sky, it would happen? Absolutely not, 'seeing' is the first step; the second step is to take massive action into achieving your end result (if that means one year's worth of prayer to make money fall from the sky).

I am going to associate the word 'see' with the word 'visualize'. Suppose you are earning $2,000 per month in your Internet Marketing business and you wanted to achieve $5,000 per month. First of all, see the end result in your mind and connect emotionally to it. You could visualize in your mind that $5,000 is deposited in your Paypal account and that you went to the bank to draw out the money. As you count the money, you wouldn't help but feel the fresh, warm and crispy notes in your hand. That's what I meant by 'seeing': to 'see' and to connect emotionally to it. You could take this further by visualizing the detailed process that helps you to earn $5,000 per month. You could also visualize the type of strategies that you could take and the type of new creative ideas that explode your sales in the Internet Marketing business.

For visualization to take place effectively, set aside some time like 15 minutes each day in a conducive quiet environment to visualize. As you visualize, go deep into it as if you are in it. If you visualize superficially on the surface, you wouldn't be able to reap the full benefit of visualization. Always have a pen and paper ready next to you as any new ideas that you visualized across can be jotted down immediately. I cannot discount how powerful this idea of visualization is as many of our money-making ideas are done in this way.

Faith Creates Ideas That Create Wealth

2007-10-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

Faith Creates Ideas That Create Wealth

For years it seems as though the secrets to obtaining wealth were only for a selected few. Yet the truth of the matter is that these "few" have chosen to apply the principles of prosperity (at least most of the principles) in order to obtain their status, while many chose to ignore them.

Most of us will never reach the full potential of our prosperity because of many reasons. However, at the center of those reasons, is one subject - FAITH, or rather the lack of. To reach the point of our subject matter, we must first define our key words in order to reach our desired goal of being truly wealthy.

But first let me ask you, what is WEALTH to you?

To most people it is reaching a place of being rich. But this does not define WEALTH in itself because it is much more than just being rich or well to do according to material value. It is a combination of exercising our freedom with the security of having ALL of our needs met AND an inter-dependent independent sufficiency, thus giving us self-value and sound direction, or what is commonly known as purpose.

Now to get a full understanding of obtaining wealth, we must first realize WHAT it is that we are free to do. We are free to believe in what is not yet seen, free to pursue a beneficial and worthwhile cause or goal, and free to live what we have not yet lived.

Secondly, we need to realize the importance of working together. The "inter-dependent" part of the equation refers to a kingdom setting in which everyone works together for the common good and survival of the whole nation. "Independent" on the other hand, refers to our individual gifts and abilities that we bring to the kingdom in order to enhance its operations and efficiency.

Thus we are free to pursue our God-given desires, secure in the fact that we will continue to survive while we strive and that we're in an environment in which everyone works together so that no one is without. These are the true Kingdom values.

Let us now define the key words, FAITH, IDEA, and CREATE.

FAITH is a mixture of anticipation with assurance. It is something that cannot be seen with the naked eye. If we could imagine how we were as a child, we would see that we were anxious about our soon coming birthday. The closer it got, the more excited we became. As a matter of fact, maybe we even had a good idea of what we were going to get, none-the-less we knew we were getting something.

FAITH operates the same way. We believe we're going to receive something (incidentally, that believing is in reality a "knowing") and at its appointed time, if we continue to believe (without doubt as it is the total opposite) and working towards it, it will come. Once it is materialized it is no longer faith, but a result of that faith. So now it becomes clear that the unseen belief is now a seen or materialized evidence of our belief. In other words, that which I believed has come true. I believed I was going to get it and I finally have it!

Have you ever had a GREAT IDEA?

One you just knew would work if it were given the opportunity? An IDEA is simply a thought and runs parallel with faith IF we decide to act on it. Unfortunately, there are a lot of entrepreneurial minds that fail to "ACT" or follow through on their IDEAS, thus their leading a life of just settling for working a job, rather than working for themselves and creating jobs like they are purposed to do. Procrastination and fear are two major means of destruction that kill our desire to pursue and act on an IDEA. Instead of moving on it immediately, we wait until it is no longer a GREAT IDEA to us any longer.

Finally we come to the word CREATE. To CREATE really means to make something from nothing. The invention of a new way of accomplishing or doing things might also be construed as a way of explaining the word "CREATE" as well. Today we use the term quite often and loosely, but in reality what we really mean to say is that we "MADE" something. CREATED and MAKING then, as far as the human capacity is concerned, is still making something from something that was already created. The process of creation begins in the mind.

So you ask, what does this have to do with wealth?

If we were to possess the FAITH that we could find a way to obtain WEALTH, then that FAITH would in turn give us an IDEA. Not just any idea, but one that is able to accomplish its purpose. Our next step would then be to take that idea, once again applying this same faith, that that idea WILL WORK in our favor (it CANNOT fail).

Then that faith would motivate us to bring to life or CREATE a plan of action, that will provide us with the necessary vehicle of bringing together the needed supplies, that will propel us towards the WEALTH that is rightfully ours.

The only thing left after materializing THAT belief, is to believe in bigger dreams and a larger purpose for our lives. When we reach this point, we'll want to continue to apply the principles of obtaining over and over again so that we can help our neighbors.

The final rule in applying the principles of prosperity (again, even the select few have chosen to leave this part out of the equation) is helping our neighbors, which in turn brings us true wealth and prosperity.

Ego or Higher Self: Whos Behind Your Decisions?

2007-10-12T01:23:00.000-07:00

Ego or Higher Self: Whos Behind Your Decisions?

When you make a decision, you hope it is ultimately one that supports your highest interests and that leads you toward greater joy, so it is important to consider what part of you is offering you your options, so you can make your choice based on sound advice and come to a conclusion that takes you in the direction you want to go! There are two primary sources of input in any such decision-making process: your "Higher Self" and your ego.

Your Higher Self operates from the place of all knowing, because it is perfectly interfaced with Source, the font of wisdom and repository of all knowledge. Your ego, however, operates from finite information, gathering its data from the world it can observe and measure-it doesn't have access to the repository of all knowledge because it is a maverick entity who has chosen to be separate, and operate without full interface with Source.

Your Higher Self always has your role as an integral part of the Whole of Creation in mind, and guides you to your highest possibilities based on that. Your ego sees you as a stand-alone entity and thus sees everything in those terms. Because you truly are fully woven into the fabric of Creation, anything that affects you affects everything else, and anything that affects everything else, affects you. Your Higher Self also has the advantage of not being time-bound-it can see the past, present and future all at once. Your ego can only remember the past and guess about the future. When you're making a decision that you want to serve you going forward, being advised by an entity that can see the future is a distinct advantage!

The decisions your Higher Self steers you toward are always going to lead you in the direction of more Love, greater harmony, authentic ease, and true joy. Though the ego promises these desirable things, it simply cannot deliver them. It is not equipped to. It is important to recognize that your ego is the puppet of the reptilian brain, the reactive don't-think-just-do-it part of you that is in charge of physical survival. It doesn't need a long view-its job is to protect your physical body at the moment of threat. The ego, as the psychological overlay for the reptilian brain, is equally short-sighted, territorial, greedy, fearful, and status-motivated, though it masquerades as being able to offer you all that your Higher Self does. If authentic ease, joy, harmony and Love are what you would like to move toward, gravitating to the beckoning of the fearful ego will not get you there!

So how do you differentiate between these two sources of input as you contemplate a decision? Pay attention to your thoughts. If they are fear-motivated, it's your ego. If they are greedy, it's your ego. If they are status-oriented, its your ego. If they are territorial, it's your ego. But if they are fearless, expansive, generous, compassionate, inclusive and harmonious, they are Higher Self-driven.

An example: Let's say you are making a career choice, and you have the chance to take a job where you can do what you truly love and make a moderate salary; and you have another opportunity to do something you are pretty good at (but don't particularly like), and make a huge salary, which appeals to you because you'd like to buy a fancy house and you need the money to fund your retirement. Your short-sighted, survival-oriented ego mind will be lobbying for the big salary, not-very-enjoyable job. Your Higher Self will likely be prompting you toward the job you would love doing, but with a lower salary. Is this because your Higher Self is just a sentimental, impractical softy as your ego may want you to believe? No. Your Higher Self can see things that the ego cannot. All kinds of things could be wrong with the ego's choice, because the ego can't see past the immediate lure of status and security. But the Higher Self is not deceived by appearances, and can steer you in the direction of what is smartest for you over all, and what will lead you toward the greatest joy, ease, and harmony. Besides, doing what you love may just lead to an opportunity to make even more money than you could in the other job, and even if not, it will most definitely offer you the deep fulfillment that only being aligned with your purpose can. The Higher Self would know that-the ego would not.

What is the Life Your Were Born To Live?

2007-10-12T01:22:00.000-07:00

What is the Life Your Were Born To Live?

In my private practice for the past 15 years I have discovered how hungry we are to find deep fulfillment and loving, make wise choices for ourselves and the planet, and walk in union with our higher guidance.

Yet our days are filled with endless, empty lists of have-tos, shoulds, and must-dos. Quality time with our families, friends and ourselves is precious but brief. We swallow our food fast and information faster - and yet what our mind tells us does not bring us peace, and what we eat does not fill us up.

Ask yourself, what truly brings you lasting fulfillment and joy? What can you feed yourself that creates deep satisfaction? Which voice do you listen to for guidance when the hounds of fear, worry and anxiety are howling in your ears?

I believe this 'missing' enthusiasm and joy is found when we discover our personal heaven and begin living heaven on earth.

Accustomed to your ordinary world view, you fail to realize that another might exist beyond the dots of your to-do lists. Life presents many opportunities, each one capable of expanding your 'seeing' to encompass new possibilities.

I saw a major glimpse of my 'heaven' in 1987 during a 6 day personal growth seminar. At the time I was living a life many considered heavenly: happy marriage, two beautiful children, wealthy lifestyle, and plenty of time to pursue my fancies. Yet, in the wee hours of the morning my secret despair, loneliness and fear woke me up night after night. Inside I knew the lie of my 'happy' life. I did not know the purpose for taking my next breath. At the seminar when the facilitator began talking about the banquet table of life I suddenly beheld this larger way of living, this glimpse of heaven.

I wanted to bolt for the door.

The fear of facing the unknown 'me' inside was, at that time, bigger than living out my lack-luster life. But this defining moment did not fade from my memory. In time, I began the sometimes scary journey of moving beyond the dot-based experience, visioning my heaven and taking my steps.

Your heaven lies lurking just beyond those dots. And it takes an inside job to fully experience it. But upon seeing a glimpse of this larger reality do you abandon your dot-based reality? No, because mastering the shift from 'This is all there is' to 'Look at all there is!" takes patience, practice, guidance, willingness, grace, and time.

You can begin today.

Are You Attracting Prosperity, Happiness, & Your Hearts Desire OR Just the Opposite?

2007-10-12T01:20:00.000-07:00

Are You Attracting Prosperity, Happiness, & Your Hearts Desire OR Just the Opposite?

If you are not manifesting success and prosperity or whatever else you truly desire, then I ask you seriously to examine the messages you tell yourself about living successfully.

Consider this: Success is a state of being and a state of mind.

You can choose to "feel" successful, whether in career/money, love, health, attitude or just having fun. On the other hand, you can choose to feel like a failure. As Henry Ford said, "If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."

Do you need anymore evidence today that positive thinking and believing in yourself are the two most essential ingredients for living a full and meaningful life?

Aren't you bombarded with messages from this life coach, that self-help expert and probably even your rabbi, minister, guru or personal mentor that if you want to change your life for the better and attain the joy and peace of mind you deserve and crave, that you must embrace a positive attitude?

What Are You Waiting For?

First, start by giving yourself permission to be successful in whatever endeavors you choose? Have you done that? If not, you may be sending your unconscious the direct and powerful message that you do not deserve to be a success in life. Until you change those outdated messages, you will struggle to create what you truly want and deserve in your life!

Best selling author Og Mandino writes, "To be ambitious for wealth and yet always expecting to be poor, to be forever doubting your ability to get what you long for, is like trying to reach east by travelling west."

Simple, yet effective techniques to change your attitude and thoughts:

1) Sit quietly with your legs outstretched, either comfortably on the floor or on a sofa, with your back straight. Close your eyes. Breathe in to a count of 8 (watch your abdomen fill with air). Hold breath for a count of 3 - breathe out to a count of 8 as your abdomen deflates. Repeat 5-7 times. Relax. Don't worry about random thoughts, just let them come and go without judging or trying to manage them.

2) Ask yourself if you are truly ready to make positive changes and if so, are you willing to do whatever it takes to make your life better?

3) If your answer is affirmative, then begin to consider what you want to manifest in your life. What are your goals? What behaviors do you want to change? What are your life-long dreams?

4) Once you have some answers, write them down in your journal or somewhere you can access them daily. Read these goals, dreams, desires aloud to yourself and affirm your sincere commitment to bringing about change in your life.

5) Now write each of your goals, desires or wishes as a positive statement. Examples: Every day in every way I am getting better and better. I am a success in everything I do. I am lovable. I deserve happiness and prosperity. I am attracting wealth and clients each day by honoring my talents and abilities and acknowledging my inner strength.

6) Each day sit quietly for at least 10 minutes, breathing first, then honoring your intention and writing out each of your affirmations 10-15 times, then repeating each one aloud over and over. If necessary, "Act as if" you believe these things are already coming into your consciousness. It does not matter if you pooh-pooh the whole concept all the while you are doing it. It does not matter if you don't believe anything you say - Just do it! Eventually, your obsolete and unhealthy mind talk will switch over to the newer, more positive language and things will begin to shift in your life. Use these exercises for sixty days and be aware of your changes. Write them down. Celebrate your progress! You will begin to attract the things you want most.

Give Yourself Another Wonderful Gift

Buy or borrow Shakti Gawain's timeless masterpiece Creative Visualization. The above is taken from Shakti's book. Reading her book started me on my path to higher consciousness and to a more fulfilling life. I painstakingly followed her guidance, although I resisted accepting the truth in the affirmations. Nonetheless, it worked beautifully and made a big difference!

Certainly, if you've had years of abuse, beat yourself up emotionally, or have other entrenched negative belief systems in place, you may require much more in the way of therapy, 12-step recovery, coaching, or other healing modalities to effect significant improvement. However, changing your thinking and believing you can have a better life can help you to open to new possibilities and surely cannot hurt!

Universal Law Series - the Law of Cause & Effect

2007-10-12T01:18:00.002-07:00

Universal Law Series - the Law of Cause & Effect

This is the third of seven articles in our continuing series on Universal Law. The focus of this article is the Law of Cause & Effect. Based on the Socratic law of causality, this Law is so profound and powerful that it has been referred to as the "Iron Law of Human Destiny".

Law of Cause & Effect:

The Law of Cause & Effect states that absolutely everything happens for a reason. All actions have consequences and produce specific results, as do all inactions. The choices we make are causes, whether they are conscious or unconscious, and will produce corresponding outcomes or effects. The Law works the same for everyone at all times.

Distilled down to the simplest possible terms, this Law states that for every outcome or effect in one's life, there is a specific cause; poor diet and exercise habits result in poor health, constant and uncontrolled spending results in debt and money worries, not putting effort into your key relationships results in poor relationships and all of the associated issues.

The law can also be applied in the physical sense through examination of Sir Isaac Newton's third Law of Motion, which states that "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." If, for example, you were to hold your hand over a candle's flame (the cause) the effect would be that your hand would burn and it would hurt! While this is an extreme example, it serves to illustrate the point very well.

Consider another situation which is specific to business. Imagine that your business is so successful you cannot keep up with the demand - a nice problem to have! Eventually, the levels of customer service deteriorate as your staff attempts to cope with the problem. You receive complaints and employee morale begins to suffer.

At this point, you have a choice to make - try to muddle through with the existing situation or hire more people. This is a difficult decision as there are many unknowns when hiring - will you get the right person, will he / she be part of the solution or part of the problem, what will happen to your cash flow etc.

Whichever decision you make becomes the cause - either you hire or don't. The effect is the result of the decision. If you hired someone, there should be some relief for your existing staff, and customers should become happier with your service (providing of course, you hired the right person and then invested to train them properly). If the decision was to not hire, the effect would likely be dissatisfied, and eventually, lost customers and potentially lost employees as well - unless you can find another solution (cause) to implement (process re-engineering etc.). This is a recipe for disaster which could easily see the business fail altogether - the ultimate effect.

The same holds true with your personal relationships. If you treat the important people in your life with respect, love, compassion, dignity and honesty (cause), you will experience loving, solid relationships - which lead to happiness, fulfillment and peace of mind (effect).

Making It Work For You:

The truly wonderful thing about this law is that by definition then, we should be able to manifest that which we truly want (the effect) simply by exerting the same causes that others before us have exerted and been successful. Let me explain:

If you have a desire to be a successful and highly paid businessperson in your chosen field, then you should be able to look back and study what made others, before you, successful. What books did they read, courses did they study, beliefs did they hold, actions did they take?

If you were to emulate the things they did to be successful, you would achieve the same results over a period of time. If, over time, this does not occur, it is likely because there is something different in what you were doing - some vital piece of information that is missing.

What You Can Do:

There are three action exercises, which you can put in place immediately, to help you get more of what you want:

1. Determine the Cause & Effect relationships in the areas in which you want improvement or success. Identify the specific things you will need to do in order to get the results that you desire.

2. Take action! Make the decision to focus on, and do, the things that other successful people have done in those areas. Half the battle is taking action. It is your ability to actually begin that will set you apart from the majority of the population.

3. Persevere. If you take action and do the things that others have done, you will eventually get the desired results. Rome was not built in a day and it has taken you a lifetime to get into the position in which you now find yourself. Success takes time, so if it doesn't seem to be working immediately, don't give up! Stay focused, analyze your causes to ensure you are doing the right things; tweak your approach if necessary - you will get the desired results!

There is no mystery to achieving success - it is available to all of us. One need only be aware of, understand and live in accordance with Universal Law!

Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In

2007-10-12T01:18:00.001-07:00

Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In

"How's it going?" I asked the clerk in the new bookstore. "Well you know," she replied "it takes a long time to build a business." I caught myself just before I muttered in agreement and instead said, "Does it?". You see, the clerk is simply repeating a commonly held belief, a global belief that it takes a long time to build a business. This is not a fact just simply a belief and limiting one at that. Unfortunately, it is held by enough people that would begin to believe it's a fact. We are surrounded by limiting global beliefs. Throughout history, people have been held back by these beliefs. The world is flat, man cannot run a four-minute mile, man was not meant to fly and on and on until someone came along and disproved them. There is a commonly held belief that 80% of new businesses fail in their first five years.

This is simply not true, this particular inaccuracy is a distorted version for fact from the Small Business Administration, that said that of the business that fail, 80% do so in the first 5 years. That's a very different statistic. I'll bet these limiting global beliefs hold you back. Don't be the clerk in the bookstore and automatically assume that it will take a long time to succeed. By making this incorrect assumption is hindering their chance for immediate success until the appropriate amount of time passes.

It has been said that if you expect the best you'll very often receive it. Expect to succeed, expect everything to go smoothly and do everything you can to assure it does. Just because someone or some group of people believe something will be difficult, or take a long time, does not make it so. Don't let their walls fence you in. Create your own beliefs, ones that will support you and increase your chances for success. By the way, many businesses have been successful from the very first day. Business that one-day opened to the public and never looked back.

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

2007-10-12T01:17:00.000-07:00

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Whose life are you living? Are you living your dream or someone else's? How much of your life is being decided by someone else? Are you in a profession you dislike because it is expected of you? Do you engage in activities you would rather skip, simply because it is part of your "role" as a spouse or mother?

What about you? Doesn't your opinion count? It is not only reasonable but mentally healthy for you to direct your own life.

If you find yourself in a profession you do not especially like, try asking yourself the following question: If I were starting over in my career, what would I chose to do?

Some people retire and, because they can do whatever they want, begin a second career. This time, they do what they love and, many times, become highly successful.

Famous the second time around

You may not remember that Caroll O'Connor, the actor who created the role of Archie Bunker in "All In The Family" and later played the burly police chief in "In The Heat of the Night," was a high school teacher until he was in his forties. While teaching is surely a noble profession, his greatest gifts to humanity were clearly to come from his acting talents. Fortunately, for those of us entertained by his talents, he followed his bliss and became an actor.

Another example of the second career is the comedian Phyliss Diller. She was a cleaning lady until she was 37. Incidentally, she was inspired by reading and acting on a self-help book, "The Magic of Believing," by Claude Bristol. Interestingly enough, Liberace, the great pianist, attributed the strategies in this same book to his huge success and enormous wealth. Take charge of your life

You owe it to yourself to run your own life. I am not suggesting that you go out and change everything overnight, however, you can begin to direct your life where you would like it to go.

For example, if you have always wanted to be an actress or actor, but have financial responsibilities which require you to work a "real job," you could satisfy your need to act by joining a local theater group. Many a community theater performer works happily at a nine to five job Monday through Friday, knowing they have an outlet for their creative selves on the weekend.

If most of your time is being taken up in the role of wife and mother, you could begin to set aside time for yourself. Time to pursue your other dreams. You could arrange for your spouse or another person to care for your children while you take care of your own needs.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish. The Bible say we should love our neighbor as ourselves. It does not say instead of or more than. Begin to set aside time doing some of the things you want.

If you are in a job you strongly dislike, start devising a plan which will allow you to make a change. Perhaps you need to go for re-training in another profession. I know of several nurses who, when they realized they were spending more time filling out paperwork than caring for patients, began new careers as massage therapists. There, they were able to have the satisfaction of working directly with the people they wanted to help.

Who are You Listening To?

2007-10-12T01:15:00.000-07:00

Who are You Listening To?

Have you ever noticed that there is no shortage of people willing to give you advice, whether or not you asked for it? I've developed some simple rules about from whom I will accept advice and suggestions. I do not ask for heath advice from people who are sick, I do not ask for financial advice from people who are broke and I do not ask for business advice from people who are not in their own business. Over the years I've watched hundreds of people go into a business venture and excitedly tell their family and friends about their new enterprise. Big mistake! How many of your friends and relatives own their own business? Probably few or none.

While they may be well intentioned and have your best interests at heart, their lack of knowledge and their own fears can sabotage your new venture. If you want advice or input about a business, find someone who is successfully running their own business and ask them. Ask several people so you can obtain an objective view. When your choosing mentors or role models, be sure to seek out those people who have been there. Chose people who have "walked the walk" and have succeeded in doing what you want to do.

This applies as much to health, finance, education, relationships and pretty much any area of your life. If you want to be fit and healthy, do not seek advice from someone who is overweight, a smoker, and sick all the time. Find a fit and healthy person and model them. I know this sounds overly simple and obvious, but it never ceases to amaze me how many people are listening to and even following the advice of people who do not know what they are talking about.

They are sadly listening to the person who is stuck in a dead-end job telling them why a business idea will not work. They are listening to an overweight, sick person who is telling them that taking vitamins is a waste of money and they are listening to the person who is living paycheck to paycheck telling them how to become wealthy. To ensure your success, make sure your role models are demonstrating in their own lives, the qualities you seek to develop.

Ending the Internal Conflict

2007-10-12T01:14:00.000-07:00

Ending the Internal Conflict

If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine, you've been taught to identify what you want to have. You've been instructed to focus your intention on what you want because what you think about is what it drawn to you. This idea was best expressed by the late Earl Nightingale who said "You Mind Moves in the Direction of Your Currently Dominant Thoughts." This is an idea that can be traced back thousands of years and appears on every writing on religion, spirituality or philosophy. The Bible says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

You want to hold your attention on what you want to create in your life, since this is what you want to attract. There is, however, tremendous value in looking at the other side of this equation, for it is in contrast that we find clarity. One of the blocks to having what we want in our lives and businesses is the internal resistance that is present and operating behind the scenes. For example, let's supposing that you want to double your current level of business. I can hear some people right now gasping at the thought of that however, it occurs all the time. This is one of the strategy's I use when coaching business clients who want quantum growth.

Here's the problem, you think "I want to double my business in the next twelve months." While you're focusing on this lofty goal, there is in the back of your mind, all kinds of resistance to this idea. Your internal critic is chattering away telling you how difficult it will be and, even if it were possible, which it's not, you would have to work twice as hard and that's not something you want to do. The results here are conflicting and you are probably not even aware of it.

Fortunately, there is a fairly simple solution to this dilemma. Begin your goal setting by first, identifying what you do not want. I'm not suggestion for a second that you dwell on what you don't want in your life. That will draw it to you. Just that you devote some time and energy surface everything you don't want. In our business doubling example, you may have things like "I don't want more work, added overhead, more debt, I don't want to have to hire more people, and I don't want to work longer, and on and on." By doing this, you've cleared the way for the next most important step, what you do want. Once your clear as to what you do not want with regard to your goal or project, you can begin to list what you do want to have and experience. Again, in our business doubling example, this might include such things as "I want to double our business in the next 12 months. I want it to happen with ease and joy. I want to be able to do it with our present staff and budgets. I want it to be exciting and pleasurable for everyone. I want to be fun and have this occur effortlessly. I want to add more value to our clients. I want to explore new markets and create new ways to reach them."

By first allowing your fears and resistances to become known to you, you've cleared the way to have more of what you do want.

The Big Secret

2007-10-12T01:13:00.000-07:00

The Big Secret

"Within you is the power to change your life"

Lately I've been doing a lot of radio interviews promoting the release of my new book, Handbook to a Happier Life. During several interviews the host remarked that "Handbook" is a pretty simple book. One woman asked me what I had to say to that. I replied, "Thank you!"

You see my goal was to take all of these success principles and produce a book that was both easy to understand and simple to use. I do this because success in any area of your life is within you. Success in your business, relationships, spiritually, health, education or money is the result of following a number of simple principles that have been passed down through the ages and within you is the power to change your life.

If you examine the core ideas in any self-help book, you will find references to ideas that have been expressed for thousands of years. In my personal success library, in addition to the Bible, I have many great books dating back to the early 1900's and they all point to the same thing - within you is the power to change your life.

Success is the result of practicing simple principles daily and growing a little bit at a time until, one day, you reach your goal. Of course, at that time, you'll want to set an even bigger goal and keep the process going. You see, we humans along with everything else in God's universe, are ever expanding and it is our natural desire to grow and become better in every area of our lives. It is our nature to want to experience more of everything life has to offer. Wanting more loving relationships, better health, more spirituality and peace, more success, and yes, more money is as natural as the oak tree growing bigger with each passing season. We live in an ever expanding universe. Are we to believe we are any different than everything around us?

If you run across someone offering to sell you the "secrets to a better life" or someone claiming to have "inside information" run the other way, because you have just encountered a 21st century version of the old "snake oil salesman." Too many people today are looking for short-cuts or magic bullets. There are no short-cuts other than staying focused on what you want and there are surely no magic bullets. If you follow the simple principles in my books, and others, you will reach your destination and live a life beyond your wildest dreams. I know this is a fact, because I am living proof of the value of these ideas. My life today is magical and continues to grow and expand. Believe in yourself, follow your heart, live your dreams and remember the biggest secret - within you is the power to change your life.

Who is Directing You?

2007-10-12T01:12:00.000-07:00

Who is Directing You?

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term mystic. During a lecture he was presenting on a mystic's role in society, he uttered the words "inner warrior," while looking directly at me. I had never met him and wondered if he knew I was the author of Mystic Warrior. His lecture was fascinating and I couldn't wait for a chance to speak to him without distraction.

In accord with the universal law of attraction, my intense desire precipitated our meeting quickly. Less than an hour later, at the hotel lunch buffet, he was walking towards my table carrying a plate of food. I jumped up and invited him to join us, which he accepted.

I asked him whether he knew I had written Mystic Warrior. Calmly, he smiled and answered that he didn't. He explained that when he lectures, "it's not me that's speaking, but rather, the 'Master Within.'" He was referring to the divine aspect at the heart of every soul - the divine aspect that all mystics strive to tap into.

Then I asked him the question that his lecture had triggered. "Is it permissible, from a mystic perspective, to use your spiritual power to intervene and thwart the 'evil intentions' of someone that is 'abusing an innocent?'"

Now you must understand the significance of this question from a mystic perspective. In the mystic's view of the world all is one. There is no good vs. evil. The cause of "evil" is ignorance.

What I was asking is, what is worse, using your power to control someone or allowing that someone to control another? This is the mystic equivalent of a Hollywood blockbuster plot crisis. In the movie, Superman, for example, it's when Superman has to decide between saving the world or Lois Lane. Either way, someone is going to lose. Philosophers describe it as "the lesser of two evils."

First, he explained that I was assuming the act to be "evil," and that was only my perception. Next, he explained that my perception of the "abuse" could also be mistaken. He went on to state that there could be a number of reasons why inaction might be better than action for all parties involved. Karma may be involved. The dispute may go back lifetimes. There was no possible way I could take into consideration all the factors that were governing the parties' behavior. The best course of action would be for me to send unconditional love to both parties.

I held my tongue and told him I understood all that. Then I added, "What if you knew the person's motivation was pure self interest?"

"How would you know?" he countered.

"What if the first party communicated that to you?"

He nodded, but repeated his assertion that the safest course of action was to send unconditional love.

Then I asked, "What if the abuse affected a large number of people?"

He paused and looked at me. He recognized that this was a topic I had pondered at great length. Every answer he had offered, I had already considered and came back with another question. That's when he asked, "Who is directing you?"

He wasn't referring to some external source. He was referring to one of the most fundamental teachings of mysticism, teachings that have been conveyed by numerous, great religions.

I smiled and he recognized that I understood him. I started to laugh.

I sat back in my chair, awed by the elegance of such a simple question and the thoughts it had spawned. The kingdom of God lies within. The goal of the evolving soul is to align his will with the will of God. If you want to know how to handle any situation, consult the Master Within.

Now it's true that there are plenty of psychopaths that claim God told them to do some despicable act, and we can be confident they're mistaken. And it's also true that a person's understanding of the Master Within will change over time, as the person's wisdom increases and his or her ability to attune with the one source of all creation improves.

Create Your Best Life

2007-10-12T01:10:00.000-07:00

Create Your Best Life

"You can create what you want in life; first you have to imagine it clearly. Imagine your ideal scene," Marc Allen, The Millionaire Course.

How do you use your imagination to create your ideal scene?

If you want to be inspired to create your best life, I'll share with you some of the ideas I've used.

1. Write out your top ten values. Write quickly and without editing. A value is what is important to you. For example, wealth, freedom, enjoying a great relationship, and creative self-expression are values. Your values are what you want to spend your time doing. If something is not important to you, it is not a value. It's not something you'll be interested in doing. A value is anything that excites you and makes you feel more alive.

2. Check if any of your values conflict. When values conflict, they nullify each other. For example, if you value freedom and also a good job, there is an apparent conflict. Sometimes you may have to conform too much in a job to be free. You reconcile this by finding out how you can enjoy financial security and freedom. When you can find how both values can work in harmony, you'll be able to integrate them.

3. Check if your values are something you're moving toward or whether you're trying to move away from something. For example, if wealth is a value, ask if you're choosing wealth because you're avoiding poverty. If you do, you'll be focusing on avoiding poverty. By thinking of poverty, you're staying in that loop because you get more of what you focus on. Instead find ways to make wealth attractive to you: imagine the relief of bills paid, the comfort of the new house, the thrill of the new sports car, and so on. This way you'll be pulled toward wealth and you won't focus on poverty at all.

4. Now rewrite your top ten values into goals. Write the goals in either the present or the past tense. If you write them in the future tense, you're subtly pushing them away. The future will always be one step ahead of you.

5. Finally, use these goals to describe your ideal scene. How do you want the goal to look as you approach the deadline for its realization.

6. Doing this exercise should give you a lift. As you write out your ideal scene, you should feel a thrill of anticipation. If your ideal scene does not excite you, then your goals are not compelling enough because they're based on values that you don't care about. In this case, you have to revisit your values and think about what it is that you really want for yourself.

7. Now your plan is to daily activate your subconscious mind to bring these goals into your experience. You'll do this by writing out your ideal scene the first thing in the morning every morning until it shows up in your life.

7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild

2007-10-12T01:07:00.000-07:00

7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild

It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.

1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure.

2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight.

3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right.

4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit.

5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him.

6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit.

7)Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn't even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.

Buying the Myth

2007-10-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

Buying the Myth

So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are you accessing all that is available to you? As a brilliant coach, as a brilliant human-being, as a brilliant spiritual being, as a bright light in the world, you have access to so much abundance. Are you living it? Are you breathing it? Do you believe it in every fibre of your being?

Or are you buying into the myth, the illusions? There are so many things aimed at people to help them build their lives and businesses; as though they are not enough themselves; as though the magic and mystery of existence were there to thwart your success. It's so far from the truth of the abundance available in the universe. It often shocks and surprises me to see this disturbing trend. Whatever the truths are, I'm here to say there is MORE!

Dismantle the illusions of safety, security, structures, that create a prison of expectation, necessity, and image. Get into the risk of playing in the mud, getting dirty, letting go and letting God, magic, Source, energy (whatever belief/name suits you). You had it happening once as a kid. Bring it alive again. Inside, you are yearning for it.

Get excited again about the adventure, this life. Get curious and playful with your day-to-day, with your business, with your home, relationships, and finances. If you resist and prefer safety, security, and rigidity, I'm curious:

So how's that working for you?
Where are you still dissatisfied?
What don't you want to let go of?
What's it costing you?

These thoughts, while universal, really are inspired by the tragic scarcity demonstrated in the world. Obviously it doesn't affect everyone, but we do see some living in scarcity. This is a boost to those that do need it and a reminder to those of us who get it but are still human in our experience.

How Are You Inventing Your Life Today?

2007-10-12T01:04:00.002-07:00

How Are You Inventing Your Life Today?

"Organisms do not experience environments, they create them."
-- From A Simpler Way, by Margaret Wheatley

Walking down Lincoln Avenue in Portsmouth, I am struck by the beauty of the day - forsythia, tulips and daffodils, bright sun, warm breeze - and the freedom and privilege I have to walk in a healthy body, through a friendly neighborhood, of my own volition. I think about how much I take for granted, and how easy it is to feel centered and content when life is easy, flowing, and conflict free.

The day before was not so. It was rainy, windy, and cold. I hadn't slept and woke up short-tempered and irritable. (Will winter never end?!) A project I'd been putting off could not be postponed any longer, and I knew I had to finish it even though I had no inspiration for it. My body ached from hard aikido practice the night before, and I felt tired and lacked energy. I opened a window and spilled a potted plant all over my office floor. And the last piece of my favorite toasting bread had mysteriously disappeared from its storage place. Tomorrow - who knows? As my friend Carol says, life can fall on your head at any moment.

So how do I walk my talk, change my attitude, adjust my goals, and reinvent my life even when I don't feel like it? I kept thinking: You can do this, this is great, exactly what you look for - ideal opportunities to practice . . . center, breathe, laugh. Sure, it's easy to be centered when things are going your way. This is the perfect day to practice - when they aren't.

I'm embarrassed to say that it was still hard. The only good news that I was able to give myself was that I noticed. I could see I was having a "pity party," which was a step in the right direction. Friend and colleague, Joy Jacobs, calls this ability to step outside our selves and acknowledge our reactions meta-communication. My meta-communicator is the role that says, Hey, Judy, you're really having a strong reaction to that plant falling over. Whoah! Are you sure you want to throw it through the window? Right, probably not.

The meta-communicator is the insulation between my reaction and my response. It keeps me from getting dragged down an emotionally reactive path that I will probably regret. The ability to meta-communicate is a sign of emotional intelligence, analogous to self-awareness, and essential to self-control. Without the ability to meta-communicate, I get lost in the emotion and identify with it. There is no distance, no separation between me and my mental state; the attitude, emotion, or mood overrides conscious thought and takes me wherever it wants. I can only talk about the emotion again (like this) when it's played itself out and I regain the ability to see it.

Centering awakens the meta-communicator. Taking a moment of literal and figurative inspiration - breathing and connecting to my power source - gives me the time and the space to decide if I want to get dragged off or not.

Pity parties are fun sometimes. I can enjoy getting together telephonically or in person with special friends. We dress up in our best long-suffering attitudes and moan about this event or that person, how much work there is to do and how little time. We bring our meta-communicators along, and we laugh at ourselves in the midst of our complaining. It's a lot more fun to whine with awareness.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, "If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind." How do you like what's happening in your life at the moment? I realize it may be a lot more challenging than winter weather in May. Still, gently experiment with changing your relationship to life events, and see what happens.

When I am willing and able to do this, to change my mind, everything changes. It begins by noticing my reactive state.
I'm upset.
Okay - Upset Energy. How can I use it in a way that's congruent with my values and vision?
I take charge of it, before it takes charge of me.
I begin to travel a path of power and presence, instead of a path of reactivity and regret.

As I place that bit of padding between my reaction and my response, I reclaim my power. I reconnect with what is really important. Why am I here? What do I want to contribute to this workplace, this family unit, this relationship? What are my hopes for this conversation? How will I impact this meeting?

More sunny days and uplifting moments are on the horizon. But whatever the external or internal weather conditions, I am protected by an inner spring of insight that is always awake, aware, and available to be turned on at any moment. And I remember all that I have to be grateful for, including the privilege of having unsettling emotions.

How are you inventing your life today, this moment? Is life a struggle, or does it flow? It's possible that the answers are really up to you.

How To Know You Are Living Your Dream

2007-10-12T01:04:00.001-07:00

How To Know You Are Living Your Dream

How To Prove To Yourself That You Are Going After Your Big Dream.

I have a personal story to share with you that happened not that long ago.

But first.

Realize this once and for all. You have a Big Dream. In fact, Bruce Wilkinson, author of the hugely successful book, "The Dream Giver," demonstrates that God has given each one of us a dream to go after. The problem is that few of us take the time to understand what our Big Dream is. And even fewer of us take the necessary action on our Big Dream.

Life is Unfulfilling If You Don't Really Go For It!

How sad! How tragic! Think about it. In my experience, I have seen few people really go after their Big Dream.

Instead, I see people, including friends, hiding themselves from their dream. They live a life of comfort. They get up each morning and follow the same routines, same behavior patterns, same thought processes without really realizing that this life of auto-pilot is really a chain preventing them from truly experiencing life. And many of them create a façade to hide themselves from the pain such as "living for the weekend" mentality.

Life is Too Short To Play It Safe!

When I left my job as a Vice Principal I went through some psychological discomfort. All of a sudden I realized that I no longer had a steady pay check coming in. And neither did Fiona, my wife, as she had left her job as an Occupational Therapist.

I had been so busy replacing my income and Fiona's income in record time-127 days-I did not have time to reflect on this until I took my kids to school for their first day of school last year.

It Was a Beautiful September Day?

In Canada, kids go back to school the day after Labor Day and as soon as we walked onto the playground my kids were gone as quickly as my friends and I used to run when we went pool hopping in the middle of hot summer nights and we saw lights come on in the backyard (That's another story!). As my kids were re-aquainting themselves with their friends, I talked with some of the parents who had walked their kids to school.

You Should Have See The Looks On Their Faces When I Told Them This!

Then a few teachers came up to me. They were puzzled and asked me why I was not at school. They couldn't believe when I told them that not only had I left my job, but also Fiona had too.

Wow, I thought as the bell rang and I watched the children line and enter the school. This was the first time in 14 years that I was not going back to my job.

And Then I experienced "It" For The First Time?

If you have recently left your job to go for your Big Dream, you will understand exactly what I am saying. What I experienced for the first time in my life was the fact that I now really had to show up each day with my game face on. I had to participate actively in the adventure. Sitting on the sidelines was not an option.

Was I excited. You bet! Was I scared? No question!

And Herein Lies The Key To Growth.

You must acknowledge your emotions. I never really acknowledged the emotions that were associated with living my dream until I turned my back on my children's school that day and began walking home.

This Is How You Know You Are Really Living Your Big Dream?

There are two emotions that you must experience, which will prove that you are really going for your Big Dream. What are they?

Let's put it this way. When my clients decide to go for it, I always help them acknowledge these two emotions. I ask them the following: "Are you excited?" and "Are you scared?"

If you are really going for it in life, you will be able to answer a definitive "yes" to both of these questions.

Why should you be excited? Because you are about to tap into the new paradigm of possibilities as opposed to limitations. The "I can" mentality and not the infamous "I can't" self talk. And that is really exciting. Really, really exciting!

Why should you be scared? Because you are now preparing yourself for competition. And who is your foe? Just look in the mirror and see your worthwhile opponent. You are now about to go into battle with yourself. You are now going to have to develop a new belief system, new attitudes and new behaviors that will ensure your success. And you will have to create this, despite years of prior conditioning.

Change makes us uncomfortable. That's why most people never really get into the game, because it forces us to get dirty. It takes training, discipline, consistency to make our Big Dream happen.

And Realize This Once And For All?

Your business will only grow to the extent that you do.

So looking outward begins with looking inward. In and out. Life is like that. You look outward and see the possibilities. You look inward and feel the fear. In school you learned that a force is a push or a pull. Both are mutually exclusive. And life is just like that. It is about equilibrium. Excitement and fear. Both must be present at anytime to know you are really living your dream. If one is absent you are out of balance.

How To Create The Life You Really Want

2007-10-12T01:02:00.000-07:00

How To Create The Life You Really Want

Australians are losing their laidback, carefree reputation, as we continue to work longer hours, exercise less and neglect our leisure and family time. Recent research indicates that 67 per cent of Australian professionals spend at least 20 hours a week thinking about their job when they should be relaxing, and less than half take their entitled annual leave. Why is juggling work and life priorities an increasingly difficult challenge for many people? Could it be we are trying to pack more and more into our busy lives?

Well, most people are aware of their tendency to overload on work or information but simply don't know what to do to get their life back to a healthy balance. Being successful isn't only about your career and your possessions, it's about waking up every day and feeling good about the person you are and the life that you have created.

Many people are searching for ways to achieve positive and lasting change both in and out of work. So what are the secrets to a healthy work life balance in a busy and demanding world?

Here are the Top 5 ways you can get the life you deserve.

1. WORK AT BEING AN OPTIMIST AND TAKE ACTION.

Take a positive attitude to life, get out and do things. Make things happen and take action.

2. HAVE A STRONG SELF BELIEF.

Believe in your potential to create the life you really want for you and your family.

3. EXERCISE REGULARLY AND EAT WELL.

Your physiology directly influences the quality of your life.

4. VISUALISE HAPPY ENDINGS, SCHEDULE FUN AND KEEP LIFE SIMPLE.

Make time to enjoy life. To laugh. To take time out.

5. FIND PERSPECTIVE.

Take the helicopter view to see the big picture and delegate if you can't do it all yourself.

The Art of Manifestation

2007-10-12T01:01:00.000-07:00

The Art of Manifestation

We should strive to attain a desireless state. As long as we have desire, we lack. Lack and want are the same thing. Wanting traps us in a world of limitation. Wanting is the greatest enemy of joy.~Lester Levenson.

Desire is our enemy.

The more we try and satiate desires, the more we want of them.

There is no way to fulfill them all. And, in fact, it's futile. We're trying to be our own real selves through some secondary means.

Desire is either pushing something away from us, as in an aversion, or it is pulling something toward us, as in an attachment. We either desire something away from us or toward us.

Desire is an admission of lack.

It is saying that we want something. And because we want it, we don't have it.

I'm not saying that we should do without anything. We need many things to live full lives, but there is a superior way to get them then through desiring them.

I'm saying that we should move beyond wanting something and instead experience having that thing.

We are souls, and as souls we have everything we need. All we have to do is think of it and it shows up in our experience.

This is commonly called the Law of Attraction.

However, what people understand as getting what they want is creating goals and then trying to pull it to them. Eventually, after picturing and repeating it, it does show up. However, it takes weeks, sometimes months, and by the time it shows up, they're interested in something else anyway.

A better way is to be who and what you are.

Then, from the center of that power, you can draw what you want without desiring it.

Instead of desiring something, accept that you have it now. This acceptance, this "isness" of a thing will draw it into your experience faster than any other means.

Most schools of metaphysics and popular psychology create dozens of steps. This only weakens your magnetic power. They charge thousands of dollars for their complex processes. And it takes tremendous dedication and effort to learn.

Some people are so disempowered that they chase after gurus to help them fulfill their desires.

Just be who and what you are--a soul with a mind and body. Then think of what you want as if it is yours already.

Wanting and hankering after something, creating elaborate strategies, and involving yourself in endless struggles and sacrifice is not a way to get it.

Here is an example. I wanted to go to graduate school to study psychology. I did not have the money. What I did was imagine that I was already enrolled. I didn't lust after it. I merely accepted "mentally" that I was attending school.

A chain of natural circumstances then unfolded where I was able to enroll and graduate from college with my master's degree.

A consciousness of a thing in its "isness" is enough to draw it into your experience. Try it, you'll like it.

People seek miracles to improve their lives. Yet they, themselves, in their divine origin, are the miracle.

How To Step Into The Flow Of Abundance

2007-10-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

How To Step Into The Flow Of Abundance

Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again. ~ Luke 6:38

All of us have needs and wants. The funny thing is that they arise no matter how hard you try to be self-sufficient. Life has a way of throwing you a curve ball when you least expect it.

While you may ask, you may not always receive-even if you really need it and the other person has the power to give it to you without much personal loss.

However, there are two simple ways to receive what you want in life when you need it.

One way is to ask within, "ask and ye shall receive." What you want will simply show up in your life.

The other way is to give freely and generously when you can.

Once you become a giver than your receiving is on autopilot. When you need something, it will show up in your life.

Here is an amusing anecdote. A friend of mine once gave shelter to a stray cat. Years later, he had room-mate problems and needed to find a place to stay. A friend gave him shelter in her home until he could sort out his affairs.

When you give, you set in motion the process of receiving. And when you give with love, simply because your heart is open, the receiving comes back multiplied, pressed over, and overflowing.

As another friend once said to me, "You can't out give the universe."

Sometimes, it may seem that neither of these ways of receiving work.

When this happens, the solution is to go within and remove the resistance. Simply sit down and ask, "Wherein am I resisting abundance?"

Hold the question in consciousness and an answer will appear. At some point, you chose the belief that you are not open to receiving. Once the thought emerges, make a new decision. "I now choose to receive. I am open to receiving."

Once you have cleared the subconscious block, you have also cleared the way for your abundance to come to you.

The universe is always giving. It is, in fact, an abundant universe.

If you are not receiving, it is either because you are not aware of the two cosmic laws I have outlined or because you have a subconscious error that needs to be corrected.

In summary, then: Ask within and be open to receiving. Give generously and be open to receiving. And, if you're not receiving, go within and remove those limiting thoughts that cause you to be living in lack.

The flow of life is based on giving and receiving, step into the flow by keeping your consciousness open to both ends.

Your Gut Instincts & Ability to Get Along Quiz

2007-10-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

Your Gut Instincts & Ability to Get Along Quiz

How well do you understand how gut instincts - yours and others - influence likeability, decision making and even attention span? Want to find out? Here are nine questions. Some answers may surprise you.

1. Do people get along better when talking to each other if they are facing each other or if they are standing side by side?

2. Who tends to face the person with whom they are speaking (men or women) and who tends to stand side by side, facing more or less the same way (women or men)?

3. If you want to increase the chance of knowing if someone is lying to you, what is one helpful phenomenon to notice about that person's face when he or she is talking to you?

4. If you want to keep someone's attention, is it better to wear a patterned shirt or blouse or a plain blouse or shirt?

5. What is the most directly emotional of all the senses, bypassing the thinking facilities and causing a quicker, more intense reaction in the limbic (emotions) system than any other sense?

6. Are you more likely to get someone to support you or buy something if you give them something up front, unasked, before you ask for the favor?

7. Who tends to maintain wider peripheral vision when entering a new place, men or women?

8. Who tends to be more specific in their descriptions, adults or children?

9. Of the previous eight questions, which is the one people are most likely to ask for the answer to first, and if reading the questions in a group, are most likely to comment on first?

Answers

1. People get along better when they "sidle" stand or sit side by side rather than when they face each other.

2. Men are more likely to sidle than women.

3. Note the timing and duration of the first "reactive" expression on someone's face when you think that person is not telling you the truth. When lying, most people can put an innocent expression on their faces, yet few (except pathological liars) will have the right timing or duration of that expression.

If you ignore the expression itself and, instead, consider whether the timing and duration of the expression seem natural, you'll greatly increase your chances of knowing if that person is lying.

4. Wearing a plain, unpatterned shirt or blouse will increase the chances that the listener will hear you longer. A patterned top or ornate jewelry or loud tie will break up the listener's attention span sooner, and that person is more likely to go on more "mental vacations" sooner.

5. Smell is the most directly emotional of the senses. The right natural scent can refresh or relax you and others in your home or work site. Vanilla, apple, and chocolate are the scents Americans most like.

6. Yes, up to 14 times more likely to get their support or a purchase. This gut instinct is often called "reciprocity reflex."

7. Women. That is why storeowners who serve men will increase their sales if they have prominent, eye-level signage over large displays where men will see the signage soon after entering the store.

8. Children are more vividly specific, hitting their prime around fourth grade and then beginning to speak in generalities, more like adults. Specific detail prove general conclusions, not the other way around. Specifics are more memorable and credible.

9. Question number 3.

It seems that we have an inordinate interest in lying.

Three insights on instincts to connect:

Finding #1: "Move to Motivate" MOTION

Motion heightens the emotions people experience. When you are moving or watching movement you will feel more intensely about whatever is happening. Imagine the impact of this insight in when and how you choose to connect with someone else. For example, in explaining something to a friend or prospect, choose the important times to walk, turn, point, open.

Further, people remember more the things they dislike or fear that they experience in motion, more than things they enjoy. Motion attracts attention and causes people to remember more of what's happening and feel more strongly about it, for better or for worse.

Insight: This is another justification for golf! Think of the memorability of a golf swing. The more dimensions of motion involved (body moving up/down, left/right, backward/forward), the more memorable the motion.

Get others involved in motions with you that create good will: walking, sharing a meal, handing or receiving a gift, shaking hands, turning to face a new scene. You are more likely to literally get "in sync" (vital signs become more similar: eye pupil dilation, skin temperature, heartbeat) and to then get along.

Finding #2: "Deep Convictions" PASSION

The more time, actions, or other effort someone has put into something, someone, or some course of action, the more deeply that person will believe in it, defend it, and work on it further.

Insight: If you want more from another person, wait to ask until after she has invested more time, energy, money, or other resources. The more someone talks about it, repeats and elaborates it, writes it down, and explains it to others, the more deeply that person will believe it - and feel inclined to tell others. Imagine your customers raving about their experience with your product.

Finding #3: "True Timing" LIKEABILITY

If a person likes the way he acts when he is around you, he often sees the qualities in you that he most admires. The opposite is also true. Two universal truths: people like people who are like them, and people like people who like them.

Insight:

Insight: Pick the moments when someone feels most at ease and happy to move the relationship forward. Don't make suggestions or requests when they are acting in an unbecoming way your efforts will only backfire. Praise the behavior you want to flourish. Don't ask for more from someone until they have invested more time, money, other resources, or emotional "chits" in the relationship.

Grab Their Attention

2007-10-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

Grab Their Attention

In the movie, "The Player" during a scene at a Hollywood studio executive meeting Mr. Levy shows Reeve, the central character, how to pitch a potential movie story. Levy holds out a newspaper, saying, " Here, read a headline, any headline."

Reeve responds : "Um . . .'Immigrants Protest Budget Cuts in Literacy Program.'"

Levy: "Human spirit overcoming economic adversity. Sounds like Horatio Alger in and the barrio. You put in Jimmy Smits, you got a sexy 'Stand and Deliver.' Next?"

Robert Kosberg, a Hollywood producer convinced a studio to make the 1993 pets -gone-wrong movie "Man's Best Friend." His pitch was "Jaws on Paws".

How quickly can you attract someone's attention and interest? See the power of spare, specific details over speed and volume of speech?

The stories we tell about each other - and the people with whom we want to share our stories are where we create meaning and friendships. As you speak vividly about your experiences with others you make those stories more meaningful and memorable for them to recall and repeat.

You become a more central part of their lives.

Here's some ways to talk and write so other repeat what you say - with pride and joy. Each are easy to practice.

1. Be brief.

If your characterization is sufficiently short then you can repeat it, as an aside or reminder throughout a conversation. Others are more likely to remember and repeat it. Here's some ways to be pithy:

A. Use a familiar word in a new way and you might even capture a trend: Example: Futurist, Faith Popcorm, predicted five years ago that people would want to be "cocooning" in their home.

B. Be catchy, using one or more of these devices:

? Alliteration: "Peak performance" and "high tech/high touch."

? Rhyme: "Jaws on Paws"

? Repetition: "First things first", Steve Covey's advice.

? Puns: Tongue Fu!, title of book by Sam Horn.

C. Employ an unexpected turns of phrase: To connect with people upon first meeting, I suggest "going slow to go fast."

2. Make favorable comparisons with familiar objects

When people in your work world are immersed in their jargon, your remarks can stand out when you make a comparison with a well-liked product, person or situation from outside your profession or industry.

Example: At the high stakes Quist H & Q Healthcare conference, venture capitalists hear 20-minutes talks by CEOs of start-ups and public companies who seek funding or favorable stock analysts' reporters. The tension is high and the schedule is packed. Most presenters speak fast, using a mix of highly technical scientific and finance language. The speaker from bio-tech company, Amgen, walked past the podium to the center of the stage, pulled up one suit and shirt sleeve to bare his raised forearm. He opened his talk, saying, " You will feel the effects of this medical patch faster than it takes a Porsche to go from zero to 90. "

3. Hijack a familiar slogan to use in a new way.

After a company has spent millions to make a slick slogan well-known, twist it in a new direction for your intended meaning. Example: Redwood Hospital in Northern California used this billboard variation of the popualr milk slogan to ask for blood donations: "Got blood?"

4. Anchor your suggestion in a relevent story To pull people into hearing and remembering your view, set it up with a brief anecdote.

Example: What if you wanted to suggest that people were looking at a problem from the wrong perspective? Consider offering this story first: There is an old joke in Soviet Russia about a guard at the factory gate who at the end of every day saw a worker walking out with a wheelbarrow full of straw. Everyday he thoroughly searched the contents of the wheelbarrow, but never found anything but straw. One day he asked the worker: "What do you gain by taking home all that straw?" "The wheelbarrows."

5. Bungle your translation to bring humor

If you are with a worldly group, offer your variation of a well-known expression in a foreign language. Change a single letter and provide a definition for the new expression. Share these rules and your expression with your colleagues and ask for their contribution. New York magazine held such a contest in 2001. Here's some of the winning contributions:

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS: Can you drive a French motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS: We're wild and crazy guys!
RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID: Honk if you're Scottish.
POSH MORTEM: Death styles of the rich and famous.
ALOHA OY: Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you would never know.
VISA LA FRANCE: Don't leave your chateau without it.
VENI, VIDI, VELCRO: I came, I saw, I stuck around.
ZITGEIST: The Clearasil doesn't quite cover it up.

6. Veil the truth in humor

So much of life is fast-paced and tense. Consider opening a meeting with mock- serious inspiration or admonition, then grinning. You'll find true life, Dilbert-like examples everywhere that you can keep for your dry humored use.

Here are some of my favorites, gathered by Accountemps one year:

"What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter."

(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."

(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

'We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

We Are All Literally Two-Faced

2007-10-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

We Are All Literally Two-Faced

"Your face is my map to your life." - Houdini, magician

We are all literally and unwittingly two-faced. To learn more about how you present yourself to the world, and your underlying, more "private" feelings, you just have to look yourself in the face. What to get out a mirror now, before you read further? Do you attract or alienate your insurance prospects and longtime staff?

You constantly present two aspects of yourself, on the two sides of your face. Recent research on the different functions of the left and right sides of the brain helps to explain why this is so. The two, vertical halves of the face are each affected by the nerves of the opposite side of the brain and show the world different parts of how you feel.

In fact, the two sides of your face, like the two sides of your body -- -the left and the right -- are usually asymmetrical and unequal in proportion. Look at yourself in the mirror -- full-face and full length -- to see the differences.

In short, your face is your shorthand to your body language.

Your expressions, in repose, are icons of your attitudes toward life.

The left side is your more "private" part of your personality and your right is the more "public" side of your face. The left often looks less happy than the right. Most subjects who have been analyzed projected their wish images upon their left side of their face and their right side related more to their real or basic self-image and attitude towards the world.

Your face's right side often appears more pleasant, sensitive, vulnerable and/or open in expression. The left side is less expressive than the right and tends to reflect the hidden, severe, stern and/or depressed aspects you usually intend to keep private from the world -- and sometimes even from yourself.

The left side is more likely to register negative emotions, while the right side tends to reflect the more positive and optimistic, but not necessarily phony part of your personality.

"When I smile I must also show the grimace behind it."

- Live Ullman, actress, author

Since the right side of the brain has more control over the left side of the body -- including the face -- then it stands to reason that the research on how the brain is organized, left and right, can give us insights into how we literally face the world and how we can better understand others. The left brain -- reflected more in the right side of the face -- relates to logic, pragmatic thinking, practicality and language.

The right part of the brain, in turn, relates more to intuition, imagination, and other more creative leanings.

The basic gut feelings, including your attitude towards yourself and your life emanate from your right brain. You express them more in the left side of your face.

We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are.

The more controlled or conscious responses -- the social mask you put on for the world -- may be processed more by the pragmatic left brain and appear more readily on the right side of the face.

Now you may be getting lost in "lefts" and "rights" of all this, but let's continue with some experiments you can conduct to learn more about yourself and others for whom you have strong feelings (like or dislike) in your life.

How Do You See the World?

Ironically, the right brain is more actively involved in observing the world -- which it does predominantly through your left eye. And, when you face someone, your left eye is across from the other person's right side. Therefore, you are more aware of their right side. But you are thus most noticing the side of the other person's face which is more connected with the left or "logical" and less revealing side. You miss facing the part of their face that is most likely to show underlying "true" feelings.

"Public / Private Face" Exercise

Here is a rather intimate exercise to do with someone -- and it doesn't involve disrobing or even touching. Sit facing each other. Now look at the left and the right sides of the other person's face. Does the right side show a more open, less tense presence? Does the left look more reserved, serious? The left side, that is their left side, is the more private face, remember, and the right side is their more public face. In fact, the left side is likely to show their more basic disposition. As you face each other, discuss your observations, one side at a time.

"The face is the most memorable part of the body and the eyes are the most memorable part of the face."

- Werner Wolff, psychiatrist and hypnotist

"Driver's License Photo Show" Exercise

Now try this experiment. Get out your driver's license. Look at both sides of your face, covering one side at a time with a piece of paper. Look "inward" at yourself and see if you observe different aspects of yourself.

You may also want to look back at your family album and look at the progression of your face and your personality development overtime -- and that of others in your family. Look at the childhood albums of close friends and in-laws for other perspectives on them.

Creating Your Future

2007-10-12T00:54:00.000-07:00

Creating Your Future

The questions of life may call to you. You may wonder about your purpose. You may feel out of place, disconnected, just a bit out of sync. You may want to find clarity; to find the stillness in your mind. That elusive quality where time loses all meaning. You may not even know what it is that you seek but you sit there in your skin and you know something is making you uncomfortable.

Well, I'm here to tell you that it's okay. It's not unusual or abnormal. The bigger questions of life and the role you want to play in that are great questions! Important questions! To not ask them and seek your own answers would resign you to an existence of numbness and one day, possibly regret. But it doesn't have to be that way. It's never too late and there is no deadline.

The journey itself can be a tremendous reward. And don't be fooled! The pursuit of worthy goals and self-discovery is not easy. There will be plenty of tough times, inner soul searching, periods of enormous movement and change, periods of stagnation and possibly even despair. There will be times when you think you have found that groove you've always been looking for and then there will be times when you feel as though you haven't a hope in the world of finding your place. This is normal.

Everyone who experiences life will encounter variations of questions pertaining to their values that will challenge them at crossroads in life. Sometimes we heed these inner callings but often times, external forces to our sense of security in the world will push these inner callings deep into the mud. Instead we are fearful of change or to focused on the negatives or "what if" scenarios. So we play it safe and ignore our inner callings.

We're all looking for "that career" that will reward us in the way we need to be rewarded. For some it may be money. For others it may be prestige, recognition and yet someone else it is just the fact they get to "do what they love doing." Everyone will have a unique journey to reach their discovery. The journey will be made intentionally or unintentionally. It will be confused and painful or it can be enlightened by your own self-awareness. Don't get so focused on the goal that you don't get the full experience of the journey. The journey is so critical.

During the journey your experiences will offer you with so many valuable clues about yourself. Who you are. What makes you thrive. What puts you to sleep. The kind of people you like to work with. The environments you prefer. All of these experiences and many many more specific pieces relevant to you, your profession, passion, skills, and personality. All of them can be incorporated into your goal.

You, your life, your values, and beliefs, and many other things, will change. So keep dreaming, keep looking at the goal. But do so with the knowledge and understanding of your journey. Implement adjustments to your navigation system towards your goal if it changes. The experiences of your life and the decisions and their consequences will teach you so much. Allow yourself to take that journey, without knowing when it will end nor where it will take you. Get comfortable with not knowing. Keep seeking. Don't be afraid to take that next step. This is the very thing I too have to challenge myself on every day.

Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take

2007-10-12T00:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take

I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged me to decide whether I was a coach, a writer, or a TV personality. She couldn't imagine that one person could do all of these well and so she told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was just probably being average at all of them.

After coming up for air and licking my wounds, I thought about it for a while and then realized that I've been incredibly fortunate to be able to do what I love. I have been working more on a part time basis for the past few years as my son was a toddler. He's entering kindergarten this year and am planning on going back full time this year. But because of this woman's attempt to "kick me in the pants" to get focused on either TV or coaching, I decided to seriously evaluate.

I've realized that sometimes peoples' paths aren't on automatic pilot. Sometimes they take some incredible detours to get to where they want to go. Sometimes, bad things happen, or we mess up. I remember in my early days of giving workshops and seminars. I would leave the place and literally beat myself up mentally for the wrong things I said or didn't say. I would feel incredibly silly or stupid at how I must have appeared to the people. I remember my face turning deep red, even when no one was around, at the mere thought of what I had said to the group in which I spoke.

Now? 10 years later? I love giving workshops because I love helping people. In all of those years, I've been tossed thousands of questions on coaching, communication, personalities or problems and have learned so much. I'm not stumped as easily these days and even if I am, I'm 100% certain that someone in the audience will know the answer and I'm not afraid to say that I don't know the answer. There is a certain comfort in knowing that you don't have to know EVERYTHING.

And then I think about the TV work I've done. I agree I haven't landed the BIG ONE, which would be my own national show, but I've done extremely well for a person who didn't pursue TV as a career for starters. I've done local reporting, anchoring, been a guest, a host, been on national TV, 20/20, QVC and pretty much could be camera ready wherever and whenever I needed to be. I love the thrill of TV and the people in the industry. It's fun and I know now that I've gotten more comfortable at it.

I think about the writing that this woman thought was a waste of my time. She's known me a year and she makes this judgment? Has she seen the dozens of notebooks that I tote around in every move of the thousands of hours that I've spent logging my life and my experiences? I've been journaling since I was 12, and haven't stopped. Does that qualify me to write professionally? Does it qualify me to share the stories of the many wonderful people that I know? Does anyone really NEED to give me permission?

What about you? Do you have untapped dreams inside your heart that you are dying to let go? Perhaps you just don't know how to go about letting them lose and getting them to the place of realization. I've been there. Sometimes you just have to jump and let the net appear.

Sometimes it will, sometimes it won't, but you will learn. And you will get better. Perhaps you are satisfied to have tried something, even if you didn't get to the top of your game with it. Perhaps you just wanted to experience it, like the time I did 146 miles per hour around the race track during the Richard Petty Driving experience. I know I'd never want to pursue car racing on a competitive level, but the exciting experience of flying around the track that fast was a major thrill. Maybe you have one, or a dozen things that you'd just like to try. Can you imagine how fun that can be? Can you imagine if you don't do them just because other people wouldn't?

I've thought of all of the mavericks that are in the world and how they must have been criticized. They've been told they can't do something or shouldn't do something just because of their age, sex, race or background. They've been criticized for some hair brained idea, or trying new job after new job or they've moved from place to place, trying to find the right fit. It happens to anyone who doesn't want to settle. It'll happen to anyone who doesn't want to be told how to live.

I'm one of those people. I've made mistakes for sure, but I've also been able to strike out and go on a journey that has taken me all over the country many times. I've had experiences that many people will never get in a life time. I've probably screwed up more times than most people too, but I've learned from my mistakes. I've tried and I've succeeded, and I've tried and I've failed. And it's made me more compassionate. It's made me less judgmental, and given me the ability to not have to take myself so seriously.

But being the risk taker isn't for the faint hearted. It isn't for the people who have the top value of security. Those people are best suited for a corporate job their whole life. But for people whose value is adventure, or experience or to challenge themselves, then being accused of being unfocused is JUST the thing that will tell you that you are on the right path. The accuser probably has met you in the middle of your journey, and not at the place where the picture all fits together perfectly.

So strike out and get in gear. Get out there and see all of the wonderful places that your heart can take you. You'll never know who you'll meet and where you'll land but one thing is for sure: You won't be having regrets at the end of your life for not trying. You'll be playing the game of life by your rules.

Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take

2007-10-12T00:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take

Invisible Braces, Viable Solutions

2007-10-12T00:48:00.000-07:00

Invisible Braces, Viable Solutions

Invisible braces, like Invisalign, are most popular among adults. For children and young teens, having traditional braces cemented to their teeth is almost a rite of passage. Wearing braces is so common among pre-teens and teens that it's completely socially acceptable. A young woman or young man may not enjoy their braces, and they may not like having to go to the orthodontist's office, but they won't feel embarrassed by their braces.

The same cannot be said for adults. As an adult, wearing metal dental braces can be extremely embarrassing. This is especially true for adults who work, and whose work is effected by their image. If you sell cars, teach children, try cases in front of a jury or work in any other field where you need to communicate face to face, wearing braces will be a liability. Then again, having noticeably gapped teeth is a liability,

Invisible Braces, Viable Solutions

Invisible Braces, Viable Solutions
Fortunately, adults with crooked or gapped teeth have a number of options at their disposal. Some turn to invisible braces, which resemble retainers more than they resemble traditional braces. These plastic aligners are not precisely "invisible", but they are, at least, clear. A new aligner is created for the wearer every two weeks, making this process both costly and time-consuming. Invisible braces like Invisalign take an average of nine to 15 months to work, although they may take longer.

too.

Correcting a Gap Between the Teeth

2007-10-12T00:46:00.000-07:00

Correcting a Gap Between the Teeth

As we age and our teeth shift, a gap between the teeth may suddenly appear. If you have a tooth extracted which is not immediately replaced with an implant or bridge, your entire bite may shift dramatically. The teeth surrounding this missing tooth may shift toward each other, creating a gap between the teeth. It's not at all unusual for a person who had a terrific smile her entire life to suddenly notice she now has gapped teeth.

For some, a very small gap between the front teeth can be charming, even attractive. Anything larger than the faintest of gaps, however, is usually regarded as unsightly. Of course, gaps that occur between teeth other than the two front teeth are completely undesirable. For instance, a gap between an incisor and a canine is quite noticeable, and very clumsy looking.

Correcting a Gap Between the Teeth
Fortunately, people who want to fix the gaps between their teeth have a very wide range of remedies from which to choose. The most obvious, as well as the least desirable, is to wear braces. Braces are a fine option for people with truly crooked teeth, but are unnecessary for mere gaps.

People can correct their dental gaps in just a few visits to the dentist if they choose to have their teeth bonded. Unfortunately, bonding is an extremely pricey solution, and temporary bonds or veneers frequently fall off. More and more people are turning to Teeth Effects Bands. Teeth Gap is proud to offer this proven, affordable solution to those who wish to close a gap between the teeth in mere weeks, for a fraction of the cost of braces or Invisalign.

4 Simple Steps To The Good Life

2007-10-12T00:45:00.000-07:00

4 Simple Steps To The Good Life

If you want to create the good life -- a life filled with more achievement, prosperity and happiness than you could now imagine -- all you really need to do is faithfully follow four simple steps. Really.

By following these four incredibly powerful steps, you'll be able to create and attract whatever the "good life" means to you, be it optimum health, vast wealth or greater overall happiness.

Are you ready?

1. Define and Clarify Your Vision

Step one is simply to write down everything you would really love to have in your ideal "good life". Yes, write it all down and let your imagination flow. Ask yourself: "If I had all the time, money and resources and I could be or have anything at all in life, what would bring me the most happiness?

Think on paper. Develop a vivid and detailed description of what the good life would look like for you and put it down in writing.

Put a date at the very top of the page that's 2 or 3 years out in the future, but otherwise write out your good life description in the present tense, first person. Presume that it is guaranteed to happen but only if you could be crystal clear about exactly what you want and what the good life would look like for you.

Clarity is essential. You can't hit a fuzzy target or one you can't see.

2. Visualize and Feel It as Real

Here's step two. In your mind, project forward 2 or 3 years and create a clear mental image of what the good life looks like for you. Imagine the kind of life that would be ideal for you in every way. Visualize the end-result (and only the end-result) in your mind's eye. Get a clear mental picture of it.

Here's the key: As you visualize, enjoy the feelings you would have if you were already living and experiencing the good life right now. How would it feel? Feel your intention as if it's already been achieved.

As you visualize your ideal end-result you should literally be smiling as you relish the intense happiness generated by this 'virtual experience'. It should feel like you are radiating bliss from every cell of your being each time you close your eyes and visualize.

Spend five to ten minutes of quiet time every day visualizing your good life and feeling the happiness associated with it. First thing in the morning and last thing at night is ideal. Consistency and repetition gives this process amazing creative power.

3. Ask "HOW?"

Once you have a crystal clear vision of what the good life looks and feels like, continually ask yourself, in an open- minded state of wonder: "OK, now how can I achieve this?"

Think of this as an open-ended question to the universe.

Do not dwell on or worry about the fact that you don't know all the answers to this question. That's absolutely OK.

In fact, it's not your job to know all (or even any of) the "how's" at this point. It's much more important for you to clearly define your target. That is, to clearly define and describe the good life in your mind's eye in every detail and continually immerse yourself in the happiness it generates for you.

So just keep asking yourself "how" and be open to whatever insights and intuitive nudges you receive. Doing this will allow you to tap into your unlimited creative resources. The more you do this, the more insights, ideas and inspiration you will get to move you forward toward the good life you've envisioned.

4. Follow Through With Inspired Action

This is the action step. Trust and allow yourself to be guided by the insights, ideas and inspirations you receive. Resist the ego-driven urge to force things to happen. Instead, begin taking 'inspired action' to make your vision of the good life a reality.

What this means is you should do whatever you feel nudged internally to do -- and do it immediately.

So there you have it. You have learned in a few short paragraphs an awesome creative process that will literally magnetize you to whatever vision of the good life you've clearly defined. You'll be drawn to it and it will be drawn to you.

If you follow these four steps, you will literally begin to attract into your life the ideas, plans, contacts, resources and opportunities (many of them unforeseeable at the outset) you need to manifest your vision of the good life into reality.

And don't be fooled by the apparent simplicity of this process. The truth is always simple. It's our ego that loves to needlessly complicate things.

There's one caveat, however. Clearly defining your vision of the good life may take some time. That's perfectly natural. You need to figure out what the good life really means to you -- what it would entail, and what it would look, feel and taste like. So do take the time you need to get it perfect in every sensory detail.

The Big Key to Freedom

2007-10-12T00:44:00.000-07:00

The Big Key to Freedom

When our clients are exposed to our company, they are often impressed with how we really stress the concept of Freedom - and well they should be. Our central core value is Freedom, our web address is deliverfreedom.com, heck- it's the name of our company! At the same time I see that the vast majority of individuals I meet do not have the kind of professional or personal Freedom they really desire and deserve. Do you?

If you listen to our two-minute trainings (a practice I strongly encourage), you may have heard me discussing what I call the "keys to Freedom" over the past few months. Last month was about having the right opportunity (click here to listen to past month's training tips.) This month's sound bite is about having or developing an effective system to unlock Freedom. Because it's just that critical, I wanted to devote this article to the biggest key of them all- making the right choices.

The role of our choices is central to how much Freedom we experience. In fact, we define Freedom as "the capacity to exercise choice"- and when I say exercise, I literally mean exercise like a muscle. The more you properly exercise a muscle's capacity to lift a weight, the larger that capacity grows, right? Same goes for your choices. The more you exercise your choices properly, the larger your capacity for choice grows. What we must be aware of in this analogy is two things:

1. Choice is inescapable. There is no such thing as not exercising choice. Whether you like it or not, you are always making choices, even when you choose not choose. As a result, the only possibilities are to exercise choice properly or improperly. There is no third alternative.

2. The consequences of our choices are also inescapable. When we exercise choice properly, our Freedom increases. When we exercise choice improperly, our Freedom decreases. There is no third alternative.

If you think about it, you'll see that this is true in every area of Life. As an example, if you make bad choices or no choices about your money, your financial Freedom will decrease. If you make good, proactive choices about money, your financial Freedom increases. I could give examples of this same cause/effect relationship in the physical, professional, spiritual, relationship and educational areas all day long, but you get my point. I encourage you and challenge you in the weeks to come, to be mindful of the choices you make every moment of every day and see the results they are giving you. You have the power to change your choices. When you do that, you change your Life immediately.

Transformational Counseling - Part Two

2007-10-12T00:43:00.000-07:00

Transformational Counseling - Part Two

Once one becomes present to his or her self-limiting belief, the opportunity then exists, possibly for the first time in the person's life, to invent a possibility for his or her life, to begin to reinvent his or her life anew. An individual's possibility is how that person will be in the present, free of the constraints or barriers of the past, a creation from nothing. Within Transformational Counseling, an individual's possibility is a new or different way of thinking about himself or herself, of who they are, of who they will be. Like the individual's self-limiting belief, a person's possibility is a personal affirmation or declaration. Like a person's self limiting belief, an individual's possibility also exists in language, and once generated by the individual, will begin to create or invent his or her experiences and sense of reality through the power of his or her thoughts and word. Unlike a person's self limiting belief, an individual's possibility will allow him or her to create a life that they truly love and be able to live it powerfully.

The third component of Transformational Counseling has to do with the individual learning what Landmark Education refers to as the process of enrollment. Given that a person will either live life as his or her possibility or their self-limiting belief, there will be a tendency for a person to go back to or stay in his or her self-limiting belief. This is what is very familiar to us, that is, being our self-limiting belief in our daily life. Learning the process of enrollment will assist the individual in being able to get out of his or her self-limiting belief and back into their possibility. When we have a breakdown, we have gone back into being our self-limiting belief and as we do so will truly experience a loss of power, freedom and full expression that is from the past. It is in our breakdowns that we are being inauthentic, that the self-limiting belief becomes hidden again. The process of enrollment allows the person to become authentic about how he or she has been being inauthentic, to again become present to his or her self-limiting belief, and in the process to continue generating his or her possibility or invent a new one for themselves and their life.

The implementation or practice of Transformational Counseling with a client takes place inside a conversation about integrity. Integrity is simply planning your work and working your plan. Clients are encouraged to develop a written plan, a plan for their daily life. A written plan allows the client to take on creating or reinventing themselves and their life in a new way that supports their wellness. Implementing ones plan also allows them to confront that which has always stopped them in the past. As clients begin the process of fulfilling on their plan, of working it, of living the life that they desire, they will have a tendency to get stopped, to have a breakdown and as they do so will develop an inauthenticity, living life as they once did, from the backdrop of the self-limiting belief. It is in working with a client and his or her plan through the enrollment process that he or she has the opportunity to learn how to get out of their self-limiting belief and back into their possibility and truly transform their life. For the client the process of enrollment is the practice of continuing to experience a true sense of power, freedom and full self-expression. It is through staying in and working with ones integrity that a person will have the opportunity to stay committed to living a life that they love and living it powerfully.

The conversations that take place with a client are conducted within the language used through my personal training and development with Landmark Education. These conversations are done so by design. While it is important for a client to begin to act and behave differently, it is crucial that they begin to think differently too. The language used in Landmark Education is unfamiliar and tends to create a space, at least initially, of confusion. This confusion acts as a pattern disruption for the client, causing him or her to start to seriously question what is being said, the meaning of the conversation. It is through this confusion and questioning by the client that they will have the opportunity to become present to their very thought process, to that which has been the true cause in the matter for them, to that which has been creating their experiences and their sense of reality, especially as it applies to how they have been thinking about themselves, the basis of how they have been being and way of life.

As the client begins to live a life of transformation it is also important that the counselor or coach be very present to the client's tendency to acknowledge or thank them for their assistance. As a counselor or coach I let the client know that I can not fix or help them, that they must do this work if they are to live a life that they love and live it powerfully. In my work with clients I make a stand for the client to assume total and complete responsibility with true empowerment as the goal. To step over the client acknowledging the coach or counselor is essentially the same as encouraging a client to use a blame pattern. As with blaming, thanking another for this type of work does not allow the client to truly get it that he or she is the cause in the matter and in both instances the client will not experience his or her true sense of power, freedom and full self expression. The client is truly responsible for transforming their life and it is vital to the process that they get this completely.

Transformational Counseling is an extremely powerful technique for assisting others in making a true difference in their life. For a client it is a gradual awakening to that which has truly been the cause in the matter, to that which has created and shaped their thoughts, feelings, behavior, experiences and sense of reality. To assist a client in being able to stand in their possibility, of being the possibility of "acceptance, freedom and creativity", as opposed to their self-limiting belief, of being "not enough", will allow that individual to live a life that they love and live it powerfully. When used in conjunction with other techniques, such as mirror work, positive affirmations, therapeutic relaxation music, self-hypnosis and NLP patterns, a space is created for a client to transform his or her life forever.

In addition to learning the fundamental distinctions and process of Transformational Counseling, it is also important for the counselor or coach to have an experiential understanding of this technology. To truly make a stand for a client and be able to make a difference for another will necessitate that the counselor have gotten his or her self-limiting belief, have invented new possibilities for himself or herself and also to have learned the process of enrollment. Being able to assist another in the process of transformation can only be achieved when the counselor or coach is in his or her own personal transformation. For me this journey started when I enrolled in the Landmark Forum. It was through experiencing the Forum and the curriculum that followed that the process of transformation began for me as a counselor and more importantly as a human being. Within the conversation of transformation we are merely human beings assisting other human beings to transform their lives, to live a life that they love and to live it powerfully.

Transformational Counseling - Part One

2007-10-12T00:41:00.000-07:00

Transformational Counseling - Part One

Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to transform their lives. Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others in their reinventing themselves, of creating a life that they love and living it powerfully. Transformational Counseling is a process of creating a space for others to get present to or become aware of their self limiting belief, to create or invent a possibility for themselves and their life that could not have existed before and to learn how to be in their possibilities as opposed to being that which has always stopped them in the past.

The development of transformational counseling has been the result of my work in counseling, psychotherapy, coaching, hypnosis, neuro linguistic programming, the work of Louise Hay and especially Landmark Education. To understand and be able to utilize the technology of Transformational Counseling with others, of being able to make a true difference in another person's life, requires that one understand or get certain concepts or distinctions about what it is to be a human being and reality itself. While the distinctions of Transformational Counseling are initially presented separately, it is in their practice or communication with another that a true synergy is reached and it's potential or power actualized for the client. For the counselor as well as the client the synergistic learnings that take place within Transformational Counseling is nonlinear in nature.

The clients that I work with are all experiencing a loss of power, freedom and full self-expression in one or many of the various domains of their life. The clients that I see are all being stopped in living a life that they love and living it powerfully. If they continue being as they have been being nothing will change, life will be as it has always been. They will remain stuck and unable to reach their true potential in life. The clients that I coach or counsel know that something needs to be different in their life but are unsure of what that something is all about, of what is not working, of what is missing, of what needs to happen. It is in assisting a client to discover or become present to that which has been causing their depression, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. and to learn how to create a new way of being that the work of Transformational Counseling is all about.

One of the fundamental distinctions of Transformational Counseling is that our thoughts are very important, if not the most important component of what it is to be a human being. We tend to believe that the external world, or what we commonly believe to be reality, is that which is truly important. As a result of such a belief, we are constantly engaged in trying to change something in the external world, constantly believing that this type of activity will bring us true happiness and contentment in our life. Within Transformational Counseling, it is our thoughts or thinking that is of immense importance to us and our process of living. It is our thoughts and thinking patterns that literally shape or determine our feelings, behavior, experiences and our reality. More specifically, it is our thoughts that we have about ourselves that tends to create or shape our experiences, that forms the background of our life and our sense of reality. It is from the thoughts that we initially create about ourselves that we subsequently develop into a belief about who we think we are, our self-image, of how we define our very being and it is from this belief that we live our life. A belief is merely a thought that we think is true or real, that expresses some sense of ontology.

Inside the conversation of Transformational Counseling it is also important to understand that we are truly responsible for the thoughts that we have, including and especially those that we have about ourselves. We literally invent or create all of our thoughts including those that we have about ourselves and with them our feelings and behaviors. To truly get our responsibility in how we create our experiences or reality is to also get how we create or invent all of our thoughts about ourselves and with it our reality. Reality itself has no meaning outside of what we give it. We are, as human beings, meaning making machines, beings that wrap meaning around everything in our life, including and most importantly about ourselves. Being responsible for our thoughts, getting it that we create them, is completely different from the experience of guilt or blame. It is not that we are to blame for our experiences but merely that we do create what we think about ourselves, who we think we are, how we feel about ourselves and how the world appears to us. There is a distinction between responsibility and blame or guilt.

What we tend to think about ourselves has at its core what can be referred to as our self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief is a thought that we have about who we think we are, that defines our identity at its core, a belief that was developed between the ages of three to six approximately. During this time frame in our journey through life something happened, an event took place and it is from that event that we developed or created a thought or belief about ourselves. The original event is not so much of importance as the fact that we created a belief about ourselves, a belief that has actually limited us in life. The self-limiting belief is a sense of inadequacy, an idea or thought that something is wrong with us, that something is broken. Once this self-limiting belief is created or invented we tend to live our lives as if it were true. Our self-limiting belief is a fundamental, core belief that we have about ourselves, about who we think we are, that creates our feelings about ourselves, affects our behavior and determines our experiences.

Our self-limiting belief affects our behavior in that we are constantly trying to fix it. For example, if ones self-limiting belief is that the individual is "not enough", that person will constantly try to be "enough", constantly be doing things to compensate for what or who they think they are. While an individual is constantly attempting to fix it, the self-limiting belief is also in the process of fulfilling upon itself, of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, of causing the person to be "not enough." Given the fact that ones self-limiting belief is hidden from them, from their view, we are not aware of its existence or its affect on our life, of its influence or impact on our life. Even though it is not true, not real, we believe it to be so and as a result the self limiting belief is that which keeps us stuck, keeps us living in the past, prevents us from living a life that we love and living it powerfully. Our self-limiting belief is in a very real sense our personal affirmation, an affirmation that is embedded in our "self talk", an affirmation that determines how we tend to feel about ourselves, an affirmation that guides and determines our behavior in life, that defines our very way of being and how we appear to the world.

The first goal of Transformational Counseling is to assist an individual in becoming present to his or her self-limiting belief, of bringing it into ones awareness. It is this distinction or awareness of ones self-limiting belief that is crucial to his or her transformation. Without such awareness ones future will be as it has been, will be what can be referred to as the "probable almost certain future". Without such awareness, ones future will merely be the past and even with a constant attempt on the individual's part to fix the self-limiting belief, his or her life will merely be to continue with its fulfillment and actualization in their experiences and life. Awareness of ones self limiting belief can be gotten by the person experiencing its genesis or the originating event and with it the belief that the person invented or created about themselves at that time. An individual can also become present to the self-limiting belief by monitoring his or her spoken word. The self-limiting belief exists in our language, in the words we say or speak. Mirror work will also facilitate this type of awareness as ones self-limiting belief exists inside the feelings that one will become present as the individual observes his or her image. Regression can also be utilized to assist one in getting the genesis of his or her self-limiting belief.

Hot Date Tonight?

2007-10-12T00:40:00.000-07:00

Hot Date Tonight?

Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew - but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single". I decided to go straight to the source, the most interesting single person I know, who has interesting, challenging, and adventurous dates, knowing full well any advice I got would be direct, to the point, and daringly attractive to the kind of men I'm interested in: adventurous, intelligent, professionals, with a family oriented bent.

After a few moments of dating discussion, revealing conversation about the state of men who date, and laughter over the possible prospects in my neighborhood, she offered up some incredibly good advice.

Ten tips:

1. Don't date. But, if you must?

2. Play hard to get - make your guy chase you.

3. Shock him with something daring - a new haircut?

4. Let it be known that you like to play the field and are not interested in commitment.

5. If he's still around at this point: every couple of days call and ask what he is doing? Most will be busy the first couple of calls, but after the first calls, he will begin paying attention to you (small gifts, dinner, treats).

6. When he calls to ask what you are doing --- ALWAYS be busy, explain but don't tell him you will be alone.

7. Once you've reeled him in, on a nice 'girly date', compliment him a couple of times, but don't give him a BIG head.

8. Throughout the entire time you're allowing him to pursue you, fish for compliments. If he doesn't compliment you profusely and with abandon, he isn't worth your time. Dump him now.

9. Never call him, make him call you from this point on.

10. Ask the big question - what do you want from me? See if he answers correctly, based on what you want at the moment.

The challenge of dating as a full time mom who loves her children and desires to have an interesting personal life as well as a great family life is to find men who are interested in similar things, with like values. A challenge, not impossible, that I took seriously through a series of options that led to a few dates.

A few tips for those of us who are a bit older:

1. Verify his intentions in the first few conversations. (If he's got different goals than you have, in the dating process, chances are he won't change them.)

2. Be sure you know your own boundaries - and tell him.

3. Remember everyone has a life, all lives have baggage, and nobody wants to carry your load too.

4. Be yourself and be comfortable.

5. If he's not your type, cut him loose and let him fly. If you're not his type don't take it personally.

Whats in a Name ?

2007-10-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

Whats in a Name ?

What's In a Name?

How often have you thought about the name that you were given? Do you know what your name means? Have you lived up to the wonderful meaning of your name?

I haven't given much thought to my name in a long time until recently. For several reasons, my name is giving me a lot of respect in this community that I've joined. I think it's so ironic that something so simple, as ones name, can give you a leg up or potentially initially harm ones' reputation.

Think of these names, and what comes to mind?

Hilton,
Diana,
Madonna,
Oprah,
Kennedy,
Clinton,
Bush,
Jackson,and
Jennings

Just the name Jennings.. (AKA: Peter Jennings), is now reminding all of the smokers that their lungs are quite possibly getting sicker and sicker every day. I just heard this morning that Peter Jennings death is waking up smokers all over the country about the dangers of smoking or being a former smoker.

How about the other names? It's a mix of first and last names, and every one of them will bring up images in your mind of a person, an event, and of course, a reputation.

How about your name? Are you doing everything you can to give your name a good reputation? Are you living up to the dreams and aspirations of your forefathers? Are you a living example of all of the hard work that your parents and grandparents and those before them struggled for all of their lives?

Coming back to Florida and seeing how everyone I meet has such intense respect for my family helps me want to live up to their expectations. I see it as a challenge and as an honor that has been bestowed upon me. Its like a gift that I didn't deserve by my own works.

Before now, My name Mary Gardner meant little more than how I told people to remember me: "Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your GARDNER grow?" But now, the GARDNER name has significance; at the school, at the church and in the community. My first name Mary also holds special sentiments around the Catholic church that I now attend. It's special. And somehow, for the first time, it makes ME feel special. And I believe it's changing me, for the better.

Now I feel like I want to be more poised. I want to gain more spiritual insight and wisdom. I want to be able to serve people more. I want to be a better parent. I want to be a better wife. I want to be a better friend. I want to help the community at large.

Living up to the stellar reputation that my parents and my relatives have created is going to take a lifetime of commitment and of service. But I've seen people seeking fame or fortune become lonely and bitter in their old age. I see now what my future holds. If I can manage to do a tenth of what my parents and family has done for others, then I will be making a difference in other peoples' lives. I'll be contributing to the community and helping build stronger people, mentally, physically and spiritually.

Names don't tell everything. But they do tell something. They give us a starting point. They give us something to live up to or to live down. If you are one of the lucky ones who have a name to live up to, then strive to continue that fine reputation that has been started. If you aren't so lucky that you've been given a name that has to be lived down, then do whatever you can to make YOUR name shine like sterling, so no man can find fault with you, regardless of your family.

10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 3

2007-10-12T00:38:00.000-07:00

10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 3

Here we continue to discuss a few commonly held beliefs, or "myths," that hold many of us back from achieving success...

Myth 6: If you weren't born into money, you'll never be rich.

Fact: Millionaires are made every day. Many of them are self-made millionaires - people who started with nothing or close to nothing and amassed fortunes. Simply because they decided to and they didn't let anyone dissuade them from their goals.

If you believe that you have to be born into money to be rich, you're missing out on all the riches out there, waiting for you to claim.

Myth 7: If I win, someone else has to lose.

Fact: This is absolute, high-grade, premium quality nonsense. There is enough opportunity and enough money in this world to go around so that everyone can be a winner. In fact, there is more than enough to go around.

The only reason they're not winners is because they don't believe they can ethically and morally do so. (Remember "the earth is flat" story?) As soon as we get rid of that belief and take a step into the unknown, we begin to realize how much wealthier you can be. You also realize how your being a winner can only help others win as well!

You can become rich by using ethical and legal means - without having to cheat or hurt others. In fact, that's the only way I recommend that people do it.

The easiest way to become rich is to create value in other people's lives. There are no losers in that scenario.

Myth 8: Making a profit is a sin.

Fact: If you cheat or hurt others to make a profit, then yes, in that case, making a profit would be bad. But if you create value for others, then making a profit is always good. By creating more value for others, you're helping them live better lives. There is nothing sinful in helping others, doing a great job at it, and getting paid for it.

Money doesn't turn good people into bad people. Money simply magnifies the qualities that are already inherent within a person. If you're a good person, having more money will only allow you to do more good! If you're a bad person, having more money will allow you to do more bad.

And most of us really are good people. And we have a lot to offer others. And you can only do more good by having more money.

Myth 9: Having more money will mean that I'll have to work hard all day and not have time for my family, friends and leisure.

Fact: There's a huge difference between working hard and working smart. Successful people have learned to work smart! They have learned to find other successful people they can model after so they don't make the same mistakes other people did. And by doing so, you can save a lot of time, money, effort as well as some major headaches.

Getting your business started and running does require work. There's no way around that. But, you can still take time out for your loved ones and for your leisure. In fact, it's highly recommended that you do that. If you're spending all your time trying to keep your business afloat, you're either not going about things the right way or you're just in the wrong business.

Myth 10: If I have more money, people will judge me, and they will not like me very much.

Fact: People will judge you anyway. They are judging you right now! It's what they do, unfortunately. Most people don't know who you are anyway! They don't know the "real" you. They only know who they think you are, based on what little information they have about you. So, let them think or feel what they want. They don't know any better. And you really shouldn't be concerned about those people.

Remember, respect and friendship are earned. If they can't appreciate who you are, then they don't deserve your time, or your thoughts.

Many of these myths that have been floating around for hundreds of years and were typically conjured up by people who didn't know any better. Many of them got programmed into us when we were very young. But, we're adults now. We can think for ourselves. We can choose to adopt only those beliefs that benefit you and drop the ones that are no longer useful or empowering. It's all up to you.

10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 1

2007-10-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 1

For the longest time, people believed that the earth was flat and that if you traveled all the way to the end, you would fall off! People were trapped; they were stuck in a world that reached out only as far as they could see - a world much, much smaller than the actual size of earth. They were stuck not because that was all that they had available to them, but because that's all they "believed" they had.

They firmly held on to this belief until one day someone proved them wrong by sailing around the world. And in doing so, he opened up a whole new world of possibilities and opportunities for everyone. The rest of earth became available to them.

Beliefs are funny creatures. You see, beliefs are not necessarily based on what's true or factual in the world. The power of each belief comes only from the believer of that belief; the strength of your belief depends on how strongly you believe it to be true.

That means that you can believe whatever you want to believe. Because, as long as you believe it to be true, it will be true in your life. Consequently, you will attract events, experiences and people into your life that will match your beliefs, which will in turn strengthen those beliefs further.

The level of success of a person depends greatly on his/her beliefs. It depends greatly on how s/he views the world, through those beliefs. For this reason, it is very, very crucial to adopt only the beliefs that serve you and to let go of those beliefs that limit you.

Because, we don't always see what is "real." We perceive the world based on our beliefs. As we walk through life, we begin to realize that a lot of what we learned growing up was not very useful, or even true. We begin to realize that life is really about "choices." That we can choose to believe whatever we want. And if a certain belief is not very useful, we can change it.

You have done it before. It takes courage to be willing to look at your current beliefs and then decide whether they serve you or sabotage you, whether to keep them or get rid of them. But you have that choice. You have the power to change your beliefs, and to change what is "real" to you.

Who Are You Really?

2007-10-12T00:35:00.000-07:00

Who Are You Really?

'Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.'--Doris Mortman.

Who do you think you are? When asked 'Who are you?' how do you identify yourself? By your job title, your family position, your status and standing, your name? But who are you really? What is at the core of you, the centre of your being, the essence of you? What makes you the unique person that you are? What distinguishing attributes make you the individual you are? And once you have identified who you are, are you content with what you find?

If I were to ask you what your qualities were, could you answer me? What is it about you that makes you you? Is it the way you look? 'I am tall.' 'I have auburn hair.' The way you talk? Are you the product of the school you went to, the family you were raised by? Or have you realized that in you there are characteristics and a uniqueness that is purely your own? At the heart of you is an exceptional being that is one of a kind, unable to be replicated anywhere in the world or beyond. Are you prepared to let that individuality shine through?

Many labels are given to you throughout your life, but just because others have applied those labels to you, does not make them true, or, if they seem true, are they really describing the real you, or the person you have been acting as? Have you been putting on a show for others - because you think that's what is expected of you? Do the labels simplify what is really a complex being? Within you you will experience many varied and different emotions and feelings, sometimes at odds with each other. However, those emotions and feelings don't make you any particular thing, they are just messages that help you identify how you are experiencing the world. You can listen to them and learn from them, or ignore them and carry on as you were.

If I asked you to describe yourself, what would you say? Are the words you use your own, or are they echoes of what others have said about you - parents, teachers, employers etc. Who would you like to be? And I don't mean Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Terri Hatcher etc. I am talking about someone who is confident, or decisive, loving, lovable, full of energy and vigour, or any other positive characteristic you can think of. What is stopping you being that person? If you had those qualities what difference would it make to your life and your relationships?

By taking action to add those qualities into your persona, you can become that person. What do you need to do to make it become a reality? Do you find yourself comparing yourself to other people and find yourself wanting, or does your desire to be something or someone else come from within? How about thinking what it is about that person that makes you want to be like them, and then practice using that aspect of them for yourself? But then again, are those features truly an expression of the authentic you, or just what you think others would like you to be?

Your Default Settings

2007-10-12T00:34:00.000-07:00

Your Default Settings

Buy a computer--any computer--and it comes loaded with software automatically set to certain default settings. For example, the default setting for Word is Times New Roman 12-point. Last week, as I presented one of my periodic Best Year Yet(R) programs, I found myself referring to default settings of the human variety. Human default settings are those areas of life where we unconsciously cooperate with limiting thoughts and behaviors that keep us from living our best lives.

A default setting in our lives can be anything from automatically turning on the television set when we walk into a room, to spending too much time surfing the net or checking email...it's usually brainless, time-stealing and rarely does it add value to our lives. Deeply entrenched default settings become beliefs like: "I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, educated enough...", (or any of a thousand variations). And just as documents pre-set with Times New Roman 12-point type have a consistent and readily identifiable look, our habits of thinking--default settings--produce results that are consistent with them as well. Default thought: "I don't have the right clothes (or whatever), so I can't start working out." Result: Not working out. Default thought: "I always have to be available for my clients." Result: No time to refill your own tank, ultimately leading to burnout.

Is it possible to change our human default settings? Absolutely. Is it easy? Not usually. But if you find yourself defaulting rather than designing how you want to live, work, or play, with commitment and consistency, you can override your automatic settings. Here are some steps to help you do it:

First, become aware of your default modes. You might start by making a list of things you do habitually that may not be useful or beneficial. Too much email or TV, not exercising, making excuses for not starting a project or growing your business, blaming others for what's happening (or not) in life, working too many hours, not pursuing a hobby, and always saying yes when you want to say no are just a few examples of default settings that may be keeping you stuck.

Secondly, notice the amount of excuse-making and rationalizing you generate around your default modes. You'll often recognize these monologues by their characteristic repetitive phrases: "I can't," "I have to," "When I get X, then I'll do Y," "It's only," or "Just this once."

Thirdly, see if you can drill down to the core issue that's really at cause. A few years ago I realized that I was a victim of "yes-itis," a behavior characterized by the tendency to say yes to everyone's requests for my time. I realized that my default setting was based on a belief that in order to be liked I always had to say yes. When I recognized it, I created a new internal message for myself: "I say no to others so I can say yes to myself." Then when my old default behavior came close to kicking in, I would remind myself of the new message. Eventually this became my default setting. And now, though I do occasionally slip, most of the time I at least stop to check my gut to ask whether this program or project is something I really want to do (is it a "yes" to myself?) before deciding to commit to it.

Finally, it helps to create options to steer you away from old, habitual patterns of behavior. If you have a habit of turning on the TV the minute you walk in the house, start by entering through a different door. If you tend to spend too much time on the computer, close the door to the room or office where your computer is located. If you work tend to work too much, schedule times to meet a friend that require you to leave the office earlier a couple of days a week. If it's saying yes to your own detriment, develop the habit of requesting 24 hours to think over any decisions before making a final commitment.

The Number One Secret to Success in Business

2007-10-12T00:33:00.000-07:00

The Number One Secret to Success in Business

Clarity!

If there is such a thing as a "secret" to success in business (or life) then Clarity is it. Clarity IS the first step towards designing your ideal business. You'll NEVER get what you really want, unless you know what that is!

Clarity, simply stated is, knowing what you really want. Once you have clarity about what it is you want in any area of your life, you can make it happen relatively quickly.

Let's begin with a metaphor

For a moment, please imagine yourself in this situation... You are sitting comfortably in a fancy restaurant at a table with a crisp white linen tablecloth and a bouquet of colorful fresh flowers. The tuxedoed waiter arrives and places a basket of warm rolls on the table. You can smell the warm bread as the waiter bows slightly, smiles and asks, "do you know what would you like?" You reply "I don't really know what I want, just bring me something good."

Soon after, the waiter proudly delivers an incredible looking Mexican dish. You look up and say, "I don't like Mexican food, why did you bring me this? The waiter responds "you asked for something good, and this is the most popular dish we have"!

That metaphor perfectly represents how some people live their entire lives. Without ever asking for, or even knowing what specifically to ask for. We must be able to clearly define what we want out of life to make it happen.

My friend John Assaraf said it perfectly "We are the architects of our own life".

The truth is; we get to design our lives/business however way we choose. What have you been choosing?

Here's an example from my own life: When I was starting out in business I owned a restaurant and I wore all the hats: Cook, bookkeeper, purchasing, HR, sales, cleaning, management, etc. After a couple of years I began to resent the business and felt unhappy. I couldn't understand why I was so unhappy because I was making good money and the business was successful, but I felt like a trapped animal. Clarity was the first step for improving my situation. In this instance, I was more aware of what I didn't want, than what I did want, so I utilized the Law of Polarity: Everything has a complete opposite. My problem was that I felt "trapped". What is the opposite of being trapped? "Freedom"! I wanted more freedom. Awakened by this clarity, I devised a plan to restructure my business to allow me the freedom I needed. It didn't take long before everything came together and I had the business and life of my dreams.

The story above sounds quick, easy and simple. Truth is, it took me two years of being miserable before I actually took action to change it. We entrepreneurs are a tough bunch - we'll take a lot of misery and just accept it. I'm here to tell you, you don't need to operate that way - there is a better way - I found it, and it improved my life and business dramatically! You deserve to live the life of your dreams - this is not a dress rehearsal! I can help!

When you are ready to take the first step toward your ideal life, here are some tips to help you get started....

Step 1:

Evaluate where you are NOW in the main areas of your life: Business, Health; Relationships with spouse, friends, family; your role or position, your success, your accomplishments; Your Personal Growth; Your Spiritual Growth.

Worksheets are available to you FREE on my website http://www.winningthegameofbusiness.com go to FREE RESOURCES and click on CLARITY Worksheets.

Step 2:

Define your ideal situation or dream business: Decide exactly what it is you want. Remember the main thing to think about is what do you want to get out of the business. What are your personal and professional objectives? Step 3: Commit your vision into writing - you now have the foundation on which to build purposeful goals and start making things happen.

Law of Attraction - What You Project You Receive

2007-10-12T00:32:00.000-07:00

Law of Attraction - What You Project You Receive

Do you know anyone who always seems to have bad luck? Nothing ever goes right for them. Conversely, have you observed people who always wind up OK despite what befalls them?

What differentiates these two types of people? Their attitude, thoughts and actions are as different as day and night.

You are a magnet. Your attitude, thoughts and actions determine what you attract. Like attracts like. If you are negative, rude and inconsiderate, this is what you will attract. If you are positive, upbeat, courteous, caring and considerate, you will attract the same.

The effects of your actions always come full circle. How you treat others will determine how you are treated. You never know how long it will take, but what you project is invariably returned to you.

When you're feeling bad, annoyed or frustrated you mustn't treat others poorly in response. Doing so is like throwing a rubber ball at a brick wall; it will bounce right back at you. How does someone react if you are rude? Chances are they will be rude in return. If so, the situation will most likely escalate.

What should you do if you are not treated properly? First of all, don't respond in kind. If you do, you allow yourself to be drawn into the other person's problem, which will have a negative impact on you.

If someone mistreats you, resist the temptation to get even. Their actions will come back to them; it's inevitable. If you try to retaliate, you get caught in a negative cycle and your actions will have a detrimental affect on you.

Think before you speak or act. Monitor and be aware of your attitude, feelings and actions. Behave in the same way you want to be treated. This is particularly difficult when someone is treating you poorly. You will be amazed at how your "luck" changes when you change the way you act.

Smile regardless of how you are treated, what is happening or how you feel. Smile, especially when you don't feel like it. It's hard to feel bad when you smile. Transforming a frown into a smile instantly changes what you project.

Treat everyone with respect and always thank those who help you. All people want to be appreciated. A sincere thank you invariably makes a person feel good. Don't tell people to do things, ask them. Even if you are in a position of authority, you will get a better response if you ask rather than tell.

Endeavor to help others whenever possible. When offering your assistance, don't do it with the expectation of getting something in return. Only through unconditional generosity will you put good things in motion that will ultimately be returned to you.

A change in attitude and approach always precedes a change in situation. If you think that you will feel and act better when things improve, you will be waiting for a very long time. To be successful, act successful. To be happy, act happy. To be treated well, treat others well.

You can never know when, where or how, but you will receive what you project.

5 Powerful Steps To Unleashing Your Creative Self

2007-10-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

5 Powerful Steps To Unleashing Your Creative Self

There is a thread of certainty that runs through many lives. It is sensed as a measured and anticipated rhythm of predictability built upon our notions of how things have been and how they will continue to be.

While this is comforting and provides a sense of continuity to our lives, it is also limiting and not conducive to unleashing our creative selves. Here are five steps you can take to break the mold of predictability and expand your horizons in ways you never imagined.

1. Acknowledge And Release The Past

The mundane concerns of existence that propel us through our days often leads to a deadening of exhilaration; a striping away of the possibility for anything out of the ordinary.

Walking in a haze of memories, expectations, assumptions, guilts, worries - bombardments on our psychological and emotional centers - we are often oblivious to moments of complete amazement and wonder. We are wholly unaware and uninterested in seeing what is already there, but not yet recognized.

By bringing the preceding moment into this moment, you are unfairly coloring the outcome of this moment to look the same as before. Creating true change in your life begins by acknowledging and releasing the past, whether it be good or bad.

In fact, see the bad things for what they really are: revelations of what is truly good. For if life were all rosy and nothing bad ever happened, how would you know things were rosy? You would have no reference point; nothing to compare rosy against.

Release the past and you are free from a linear, pre-ordained future.

2. Say Thank You

Appreciate your life for what it has been. Give yourself a pat on the back for everything that brought you to this exact moment. Congratulate yourself on doing the best you could.

Give thanks to yourself, for the people around you, and to the source of life that allows you to say, "Here I Am!"

Practice sincere gratitude several times throughout your day. In this way you are able to stay connected with your creative energies and recognize abundance in the world.

3. Create Your Day

Imagine yourself awakening each morning to exclaim, "This is how I shall create my day!" How many people aspire to create moments that shape the day around them, rather than allowing the moments of their yesterdays to serve up the ordinary menu of today?

When you awake each morning, start out by deciding on the outcome of the day. We have been taught from an early age that the outside world determines our actions and our state of mind. This is not true. You have freewill. Use it.

Decide for yourself how you will feel and what you will accomplish. Do you want to be happy that day? Do you want to begin writing a operatic ballad? It doesn't matter what it is. Just declare it. Simple as that.

If you don't know what to declare on a given day, always start with happiness. Affirm your decision to be happy. Remember that happiness is a state of being, not a reaction. Don't allow outside events determine whether you will be happy. Create the commandment in your mind and you will find that happiness exists in the strangest of places.

Fully expressing your creative self takes practice, especially if you are in the habit of reacting to the moments of your day. You are rewiring the neural connections in your brain. You are breaking old connections. With practice, creativity becomes a habit.

4. Expect The Unexpected

Consider the clarity and simple freedom that comes from being unattached to the unfolding of a moment in your life. How does it feel to be an observer; an inconsequential witness? Most of us have experienced these special moments to some degree. Can you recall such moments? Do you remember how it felt to be completely in the world, but not an immediate player within it? Simply watching. Uninterested. Non-judgmental.

At these times it is not unlike staring without prejudice into a fish tank. It makes no difference in what direction the fish swim. It matters not the size of the bubbles percolating from the bottom. It's of no concern the manner in which the water ripples on the surface.

If the moments of your life were observed in such a manner, you could then decide the meaning of circumstances in your life with fresh eyes. Moments would exist within the space of a moment. The meaning of the next moment could then be nothing, or anything. There are literally no limits.

Therefore, aspire to be an unattached observer each day. This doesn't mean you can't feel things. By all means, feel things with passion. Yet, be the observer of your passion. Be in your emotions, but not swept away by them. Watch your reactions, say hello to how you feel, and watchfully move on under the creative mandates you set for yourself at the beginning of the day.

What happens when you let go and be the observer? The unexpected happens. The clarity of purpose you defined at the beginning of the day is ever-present around you. Now you are free to notice, from among the thousands of pieces of information entering your brain each moment, the meaning of things which encapsulate your purpose.

5. Believe

What if the meaning of your moments was like the first flush of rapture found in the eyes of a new-found lover? Can you imagine such wonder and amazement, such endless depth, in the moments of your day?

When moments are free of preconceptions that have been brought forward, then the possibility of infinite futures take form. These are the times when you can indulge the ending of your story however you choose.

What is the ending? It is no more or less than the extent of your belief in what is possible. It is the ending that holds meaning for you; void of conjecture that your environment might not relinquish the prize of your choice.

It is an illusion to think that the environment around you exists without you. The environment exists because of you. You are the master. The stimuli that enters your brain through your senses is timeless, formless, and meaningless. You bring to your environment the meaning of your choice.

Your environment is like sand on a beach, smooth and undisturbed until your footprints change its landscape. A few come to build castles in the sand, while most simply wonder the water's edge while their footprints wash back into the sea.

The universe listens to those who ask. And of those who ask, it is those who expect to be answered who will receive. Do not say you want the thing you desire. For the universe will deem your request already answered. To want is not to have. Do not say you will have it. That is the same as wanting.

Instead, have the thing you desire. Make up your mind it is already yours. Believe it is so because it is so. There is no elaborate, complex formula. It is as simple as breathing.

Now watch. Your desire has been granted. The universe has delivered it. With your new, unfiltered, of-the-moment vision, your steps lead right to it.

Putting it all together, here are the steps to fully expressing your creative nature:

Acknowledge the past and release it from this moment.

Give thanks to yourself, all things, and all persons.

Create your day on purpose. Decide and resolve.

Be watchful and expect the unexpected.

Believe.

Do you know the most wonderful thing about creating your life on purpose?

You are in fact changing the world in no less significance than the achievements of the greatest teachers through all the ages.

Do Good Deeds & Get Rewarded? A Universal Mystery Uncovered

2007-10-12T00:29:00.000-07:00

Do Good Deeds & Get Rewarded? A Universal Mystery Uncovered

Do you believe in the idea of "abundance" or do you see the whole notion as just a load of "airy-fairy" nonsense spouted by "new age" goody goodies?

As you'll soon discover - I firmly believe that giving is an essential part of an expert business's marketing mix.

I've read plenty on the subject of giving in order to gain, and have practiced it since I launched my first business in 1997, because it just seems to work so well.

But nothing I've heard or read in this time has ever been able to explain how giving turns into gain. If you're like me then you may be unwilling to just accept the wishy-washy abundance explanation that 2+2=5. We all know that 2+2=4!

So what's really going on?

I think I have a good idea why giving works so well and I'm going to share that with you here.

Here's my explanation of why doing good deeds will improve the success of your business and bring you more wealth and happiness...

The Universal Law of Abundance Uncovered...

In my book entitled, The Gorillas Want Bananas, I share the top 7 things that Lean Marketers do to be successful. 2 of the 7 activities that I recommend are based around giving...

1. Giving Referrals

2. Giving Freebies

But, how can it be that giving stuff away brings you more business success and profit?

I'll begin to answer this by first telling you about an excellent book (and now film)...

Pay It Forward

Reuben St. Clair, the teacher protagonist in the book Pay It Forward, starts a movement with a voluntary, extra-credit assignment:

THINK OF AN IDEA FOR WORLD CHANGE, AND PUT IT INTO ACTION

Trevor, a 12 year old student, thinks of an idea...

"You see, I do something real good for three people. And then when they ask how they can pay it back, I say they have to Pay It Forward. To three more people. Each. So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven."

He turned on the calculator, punched in a few numbers.

"Then it sort of spreads out, see. To eighty-one. Then two hundred forty-three. Then seven hundred twenty-nine. Then two thousand, one hundred eighty-seven. See how big it gets?"

The maths, are based on the law of exponential growth using powers of three...

* Let's say you can do three good deeds this month.

* This time next year there will be 3^12 good deeds done in one month. That's 531,441 (over half a million in one month)

* Just think... what if 100 people started with 3 deeds in that first month?

Trevor also observes:

"It doesn't have to be a big thing. It can just seem that way, depending on whom you do it for."

The 3 Vital Ingredients of The Abundance Puzzle There are 2 things we'll take from the story above and an additional one, based on The Small World Effect, that ties it all together and brings it full circle so that we get our rewards...

1. Viral Growth

This exponential thing isn't something that was invented along with the Internet - it's behind epidemics, whether they're social movements, trends or diseases. Getting people to join your movement by passing things forward can create dramatic exposure and quickly.

2. Small Deeds that Seem Big

The idea that the deed only has to be "perceived as big" is the key to how you can give referrals, provide high value stuff and do seemingly huge favours without even thinking about the need for a payback... By the way, it's important that you approach this without any expectation of a direct payback from the people you help - if you don't you'll be frustrated.

3. It's a Small World

You've probably already heard of the, Small World Effect, 6 degrees of separation, or Kevin Bacon Game. They're essentially telling us the same thing... It's the idea that we are all linked to everyone else by 5 intermediaries or less. Recent theoretical work suggests that the number may or may not be 6, but it is certainly small not 100 for example.

Just think about it. If you know 300 people who each know 300 people who each know 300 people etc then it doesn't take long to hit the whole population of earth within about 6 steps.

Keep these three things in mind and...

Your Reward Will Come

So let's agree that everyone is linked by 6 steps or less. Doing favours and encouraging the recipients to act in the same way when dealing with others means that your reward will happen from unexpected sources and more quickly than you could imagine.

You'll become a benefactor of the very thing you've started, only there will be far more good things coming your way than you initially set in motion. This is the combination of quick viral growth and a small world.

So, your marketing can relax from the usual and frustrating 'what's in it for me?' approach to one where you feel good, look good and get rewarded naturally.

You'll also soon discover that the more you give the more you receive so there's no reason why you should stop at doing just 3 good deeds...

Your Chance To Take Part In My "Pay It Forward" Experiment... One of my favourite good deeds is giving F'REE information to people. So, I'd like to start my own Pay It Forward movement by giving you 2 F'REE eBooks.

If You Haven't Already Then Download Them Here...

Rather than expecting anything in return from you, all I ask is that you do 3 or more good deeds for people you know. The easiest one being to share this link, www.leanmarketing.co.uk with 3 or more contacts who might benefit from these F'REE eBooks too.

Jedi Mind Tricks - How To Make Suggestions Like A Jedi Master

2007-10-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

Jedi Mind Tricks - How To Make Suggestions Like A Jedi Master

Being a child of the Seventies I'm a real fan of the original Star Wars movies.

Do you remember that fantastic scene in A New Hope where Obi-Wan Kenobi (known as Ben at this point) gets out of a scrape with some Storm Troopers? Here's how it goes...

EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- STREET.

The speeder is stopped on a crowded street by several combat-hardend stormtroopers who look over the two robots. A Trooper que

Jedi Mind Tricks - How To Make Suggestions Like A Jedi Master

Being a child of the Seventies I'm a real fan of the original Star Wars movies.

Do you remember that fantastic scene in A New Hope where Obi-Wan Kenobi (known as Ben at this point) gets out of a scrape with some Storm Troopers? Here's how it goes...

EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- STREET.

The speeder is stopped on a crowded street by several combat-hardend stormtroopers who look over the two robots. A Trooper questions Luke.

TROOPER: How long have you had these droids?

LUKE: About three or four seasons.

BEN: They're for sale if you want them.

TROOPER: Let me see your identification.

Luke becomes very nervous as he fumbles to find his ID while Ben speaks to the Trooper in a very controlled voice.

BEN: You don't need to see his identification.

TROOPER: We don't need to see his identification.

BEN: These are not the droids you're looking for.

TROOPER: These are not the droids we're looking for.

BEN: He can go about his business.

TROOPER: You can go about your business.

BEN: (to Luke) Move along.

TROOPER: Move along. Move along.

Wouldn't it be cool to be that persuasive? Imagine how useful that kind of skill could be in a selling situation for instance?

Now, how would you feel if I told you that there are Jedi Mind Tricks that DO work in real life?

You might not believe me yet, but you can prove it to yourself when you try what I've got in today's article.

In a moment I'm going to show you some techniques for embedding suggestions in your written and spoken communication to increase the likelihood of you getting the outcome you're looking for but first let's take a look at...

How These Mind Tricks Were Discovered

Back in the Seventies, Milton Erickson, a renowned and successful hypnotherapist, was modelled by a couple of guys (well actually the creators of NLP - Richard Bandler and John Grinder) who were keen to understand what he was doing so well to help his clients.

They spent hours and hours simply watching, mimicking and soaking up his skills. Simply taking in as much information consciously and unconsciously as they could until they could get similar results themselves. Then they kindly "codified" that information and shared it so that others, who were so inclined, could also achieve the same success.

In Neurolinguistic Programming terms, the patterns they elicited became known as the Milton Model. These patterns, when applied correctly, can have a powerful effect on people's thinking.

Beware The Dark Side...
Right, it's time to see what I've been talking about. But I must share a warning... It is possible to use this stuff to get your own way EVEN IF you're not acting in the interests of the people you're dealing with. This, for me, is unethical, sneaky and manipulative. So, please only use these approaches where a mutual gain is to be had ie a win-win. If you use this approach to create a win-lose situation then don't blame me when your bad deeds catch up with you.

Now It's Time...
The basic premise of an embedded suggestion is to give somebody a direct instruction by stealthily hiding it amongst a seemingly innocent comment or question. The seemingly innocent bit is a kind of wrapper or disguise for keeping your conscious mind from blocking the real information.

Typically you'll emphasise the suggestion/command by changing your tonality slightly, saying it slightly louder or quieter or changing the look (using italics, bold, colour) of written text to jump out.

There are various ways to embed suggestions and whole books have been written on the subject but here are just a few Mind Tricks to try for yourself...

1. Yoda-isms

"It's easy to ______________, is it not?"
"You can _____________ can you not?"

Try disagreeing with "is it not?" or "can you not?" statements and you'll find it difficult. The way a direct statement is converted craftily into a question softens the effect and makes detection of the suggestion more difficult. This in turn makes your embedded command easier to install.

If somebody tells you something's easy you'll feel compelled to try it out to see if they're right. And if somebody gives you permission by saying "you can..." then you'll be tempted to try that thing out too.

Some things you may wish to add to the blanks...

"enjoy yourself"
"pay with your credit card"
"agree with what I'm saying"
"buy my product"

I'm wondering if... You Know Other People who should be reading this too? So do us all a favour (they get 2 free books - we get a new subscriber - you get to look good) when you Pass On This link... http://www.leanmarketing.co.uk

2. Judo-isms

"You don't have to, ___________________."
"You may not know if you _____________________."
"You may or may not _____________________."
"Don't ________________________ yet."
"Don't _________________________ too quickly."

Basically these embedded suggestions seem to take people in one direction when really you're encouraging them to do the opposite.

Presupposing that they will do the thing you want eventually using "yet" and "too quickly" works great.

Adding someone's name after telling them "they don't have to" nullifies your opener. So they'll essentially only hear their name and the suggestion and disregard the "don't have to" portion of your statement.

Some things you may wish to add in the blanks...

"think I'm just right for you"
"agree with my point of view"
"sign that contract"
"buy my product"

3. Dumb-isms
"I'm wondering if you'll _____________________ or not."
"I don't know if you'll _________________________."

"Or not" avoids resistance and softens your statement to a harmless enquiry rather than a direct suggestion. How can anyone disagree with you wondering if they'll do what you'd like or not?

"I don't know if..." suggests a harmless lack of knowledge about what someone will do but it doesn't prevent you from inserting a good suggestion that they just might decide to act on.

Some things you may wish to add to the blanks...

"buy my product"
"enjoy it"
"like what I'm doing"
"be excited about my proposal"

There are obviously many alternatives and you can include whatever suggestions you want. Just be sure to set it up so that it's an active doing statement for now or the immediate future. Past tense doesn't quite work as well.

stions Luke.

TROOPER: How long have you had these droids?

LUKE: About three or four seasons.

BEN: They're for sale if you want them.

TROOPER: Let me see your identification.

Luke becomes very nervous as he fumbles to find his ID while Ben speaks to the Trooper in a very controlled voice.

BEN: You don't need to see his identification.

TROOPER: We don't need to see his identification.

BEN: These are not the droids you're looking for.

TROOPER: These are not the droids we're looking for.

BEN: He can go about his business.

TROOPER: You can go about your business.

BEN: (to Luke) Move along.

TROOPER: Move along. Move along.

Wouldn't it be cool to be that persuasive? Imagine how useful that kind of skill could be in a selling situation for instance?

Now, how would you feel if I told you that there are Jedi Mind Tricks that DO work in real life?

You might not believe me yet, but you can prove it to yourself when you try what I've got in today's article.

How These Mind Tricks Were Discovered

In Neurolinguistic Programming terms, the patterns they elicited became known as the Milton Model. These patterns, when applied correctly, can have a powerful effect on people's thinking.

There are various ways to embed suggestions and whole books have been written on the subject but here are just a few Mind Tricks to try for yourself...

1. Yoda-isms

"It's easy to ______________, is it not?"
"You can _____________ can you not?"

Some things you may wish to add to the blanks...

"enjoy yourself"
"pay with your credit card"
"agree with what I'm saying"
"buy my product"

2. Judo-isms

Basically these embedded suggestions seem to take people in one direction when really you're encouraging them to do the opposite.

Presupposing that they will do the thing you want eventually using "yet" and "too quickly" works great.

Some things you may wish to add in the blanks...

"think I'm just right for you"
"agree with my point of view"
"sign that contract"
"buy my product"

3. Dumb-isms
"I'm wondering if you'll _____________________ or not."
"I don't know if you'll _________________________."

"Or not" avoids resistance and softens your statement to a harmless enquiry rather than a direct suggestion. How can anyone disagree with you wondering if they'll do what you'd like or not?

"I don't know if..." suggests a harmless lack of knowledge about what someone will do but it doesn't prevent you from inserting a good suggestion that they just might decide to act on.

Some things you may wish to add to the blanks...

"buy my product"
"enjoy it"
"like what I'm doing"
"be excited about my proposal"

Putting Yourself on the Road to Success

2007-10-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

Putting Yourself on the Road to Success

What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers, winners from losers? Are people born that way or do they develop habits as they grow older which determine their stations in life?

It would be fair to say that the answers to these questions are very complex ones. It is a combination of factors which include such things as your country of birth, when you were born, your IQ, your physique, your capacity to remember, your environment, your parents, your friends, your associates, the formal education you receive and the books you read.

Let us look at the things you have no control or little control over and work through to the things that you have absolute control over.

First, you have no say when, where or how you were born or who your parents are. Genetics dictate such things as your IQ, to a large extent your physique and your capacity to remember. However, these things can be improved through training and effort.

As a youngster you also have no control over your environment or the formal education that you receive, but that can also be improved as you grow older and take more control of your life - if you choose.

So, what is left? You might think not much. However, I contend that what is left could very well be the most important determinants of failure versus success. The people you keep company with and the books that you read.

Now, here is the exciting part of it all. They are the two things that you definitely have control over. So I need to ask you two questions:

Are you associating with positive people who are interested in helping you achieve your goals?

Are you educating yourself, on a continuous basis, with appropriate books to improve your knowledge base? There are books available to suit everybody's taste. For those who have an aversion to reading books might I suggest "Rhinoceros Success" by Scott Alexander (ISBN: 0-937382-00-0). It is one of the most amusing "success" books you will ever find. It also contains cartoons complementing the text. It is quite a masterful production written by a very talented writer.

Scott Alexander has written three "Rhinocerotic" volumes. All are eminently readable.

I first read Scott's books some fifteen years ago and have read them several times since. They are always enjoyable and are just as relevant today as when he wrote them way back in 1980.

You cannot change the conditions of your birth but you can take advantage of those things, which are within your control. You can put yourself on the road to success. Just surround yourself with positive people and read, read, read!

What Image Are You Projecting?

2007-10-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

What Image Are You Projecting?

I want you to think about something for a few moments. Do you have any perception about what sort of image you are projecting? I'm talking about the personal or professional image that you are presenting to the rest of the world.

When we perceive others we do it through four of our five senses:

Sight

Sound

Smell

Touch The fifth sense, "taste", we will set aside because it is irrelevant to this subject. But we will include an intangible quality, a "sixth sense", so to speak, which we will identify as "something extra". What I refer to here is that vague notion we get about somebody which we are unable to quantify. It is an all-round subconscious combination of everything else that we perceive about the person.

We have all felt it. We all project it. It's the thing we speak of when we say or think the words:

"I feel as though I can trust this person" or
"I think I feel safe in this person's presence" or
"it seems as though I have known this person a long time" or
"I just don't feel comfortable when he (or she) is around" or
"this person makes my skin crawl."

Call it gut feeling, animal instinct, intuition or whatever you want. We all possess it and we all project it. Some are more receptive at what comes in and others can mask what goes out. But there are signals.

So let's examine each of the above attributes briefly to see what sort of "persona" or image you are projecting for others to "read".

1 - Sight. What do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you look like? Not everybody has movie star looks or a perfect athlete's body. However, we should all be making the most of what we have got. There is simply no excuse for an unkempt appearance. Are you a man who only shaves every second or third day? If so, why? Are you a woman who has unruly hair?

It has been proven that people judge you mostly by what they see. If you make a poor initial visual presentation then you have to rely on everything else to work overtime to overcome it.

Consider this. Think about your lawyer, accountant, doctor or any other "professional" person. When you first met that person how did they present? Were they well groomed and in fine clothes? Almost certainly they were. Now, every time we see that person we judge them by that first presentation appearance. You may see your accountant one weekend down at the hardware store in his or her grubbiest work clothes - but you still have that image of them in their professional attire.

Let's reverse that. Let's assume that you bump into that person in the hardware store, you strike up a conversation, during which, they reveal to you that they are an accountant. But you see them in their filthy weekend work gear. Is it convincing? You decide to visit them at their usual place of work at a later date. Hey presto! Out comes this person looking very professional. Is your mind in conflict?

The point I am making is this - the first impression is the lasting impression. When you see somebody for the first time and they are professionally attired, that is the way you invariably categorise that person from that point on - even if a subsequent meeting shows them wearing lesser clothing. It just doesn't work in reverse.

My point is - if you want to project a certain image - dress for that image. But that is not to say that you need to wear your best clothes all the time when you are away from your work. The above example was just to illustrate my point.

2 - Sound. What words do you use? Do you speak appropriately and knowledgeably for your profession. Are you prone to "um" and "er" your way through conversations? Do you think before you speak?

Is your verbal language sprinkled or even littered with profanities or expletives? Gutter language is a sure way to lose customers and clients. So are sarcasm, racial prejudism, sexual connotation, rudeness, ignorance, criticism and a host of other poor language traits.

Do you revise and edit your written language in letters or emails before you send them - particularly when you are in conflict with a person or corporation? Do you screen your writing for blatant errors or possible misunderstandings? Being pleasant but firm creates a much better environment for resolution than a harsh and angry tone. Do you wait before you send your mail and revisit your words before posting? Do you put yourself in the position of the receiver of the correspondence?

3 - Smell. A tough subject to deal with. I will be blunt. Do you smell? Many people have deficient nasal receptors. Their sense of smell is either diminished or non-existent. Often such people can reek of offensive body odour simply because they are unaware of it themselves.

Some people have heightened nasal receptors. Their sense of smell can be so sensitive that all sorts of odours cause them discomfort. Therefore, if you are a man who drowns himself in after-shave you might save yourself a lot of money by being less liberal with it. Similarly, women who walk down a corridor and leave a trail of perfume in their wake might also like to follow this advice. A hint of after-shave or perfume can be refreshing. A miasma of it can be just the reverse.

4 - Touch. In today's society you had better be aware that excessive touching and feeling is completely unacceptable. If in doubt, you should offer and accept your hand in a hand-shake only. Many people find it very offensive when personal contact is made. If you are in the habit of giving people a hug just make sure that the "hugee" is amenable to the hug from the "hugger".

All of the above add up to what can be described as a "general personal aura". You can send and receive these auras. They form part of that unquantifiable quality that we know of as the "sixth sense." Be aware that many of the subjects that I have described above can be modified to suit specific locations, customs, beliefs and relationships. There is no universal law. Awareness and common sense are the key.

There are several books, which go into great detail on these matters. One such book is "Body Language" by Allan Pease. If you have any difficulty locating this book you can always request it by its unique code (ISBN 0 9593658 0 X). This is an excellent reference source on many non-verbal gestures. It certainly makes for interesting reading.

By being aware of the signals that we send out when we deal with other people we can improve the way we interact with them. These are skills which can be learned and they can greatly increase our results in personal and business relationships.

These skills are important because the greatest element in personal contact with your clients and customers is communication. Poor interpersonal skills will eventually cause a breakdown in confidence which will manifest itself in declining sales.

The most successful people in any business are always the communicators. If you are an employee and you want your salary to increase, work on your communication skills. If you are a business owner and you want your turnover to increase, work on your own communication skills first then show all your employees how to do the same.

The image that you project in the marketplace will directly affect your "bottom line". Think about it. What image are you projecting?

The Beast

2007-10-12T00:24:00.000-07:00

The Beast

What does one do when one is too old, too weak, and feels powerless and regretful? What does one do when one looks back at his life and sees nothing that was worth living for? What does one do when one sees the future coming to an end - the end of a journey? "The journey was not mine," said the old man. "What was that about? Why was I here? What was I suppose to do? Where am I going and will I ever come back? Come back to what, to whom and for what purpose?"

"What if I would come back, what choices would I have? What roads would I take? What would all this mean to who I will become once again? Would I live a life in fear, in a cage with limits, expectations and demands imposed upon me? Would I blindly follow instructions that would once again lead to destruction? Would I allow my soul to guide me? Would I let it grow, be nourished, and be what it needs to be? Or would I again stifle my inner core to waste, and to be lost as I had allowed it to be lost in this lifetime?"

The old man sat under a large apple tree, leaned against its trunk with his legs extended in front of him. The old man was sad. His unshaven wrinkled face drooped, and his eyes stood still. He wore baggy grey pants, an old pair of brown shoes and a dark green oversized jacket. His silver long hair touched his shoulders. He held a small notebook in his left hand and a pen in his right, and began to write: " God tell me, tell me now, tell me the truth, spare me no pain, for the pain is all I really know. Tell me, did it have to be the way it was?"

The old man stopped writing now. He looked straight ahead and saw nothing. He saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. He just stared. The stare was not aimed at anything or anybody. He heard nothing and saw nothing, not because there was nothing to see or hear. On the contrary, there were birds chirping on the apple tree just above his head and two boys in nearby running in the field. The boys were playing as the herds of cows they cared for were grazing on the thick green pasture.

The two boys were brothers - one was eleven and the other six. Their little four-year old sister was there too. She did not seem to care about the game her brothers played, nor did she care about the butterflies that were swirling around her hair; for she was in a world of her own.

The little girl with long blond, shiny hair looked like an angel that had fallen from the sky. The white silky dress surrounded her small body as she sat on a soft red blanket. She arranged her dolls, tea cups and doll furniture in a perfect position right in front of her. She served tea first to each of her dolls, and then she poured a cup to herself. Then she gently added milk and sugar to each of their cups. Of course the tea, sugar and milk was make-believe.

The old man was oblivious to the world around him. He did not see the boys, the herds of cows, nor did he see this angelic child in his direction of stare. The old man did not see the boys, the cows, the girl, nor did he hear the birds sing or the river flow. The old man did not see or hear, not because he was deaf or blind but because he was in a mental state of paralysis.

As the old man took a deep breath, he sighed and then said: "I will do it. I must do it. I will tell it all. I will tell it as is or as it was. I will do it in my own truthful way."

The old man, once again picked up his notebook and pen, and began to write: "My dear Lord, this story is for you. I know that you know the story of my life, for I believe you were there. I know that. But you see God, it is you who is willing to hear and receive my story with love and compassion. You see God, I am an old man now, a weak man and a sad man. The life I was given to live, the life I made for myself, was a life of agony, pain and disappointment. I am not a smart man. I am not a literate man, nor do I think I am a wise man. I am a simple man - a man of great human weakness." The old man stopped writing again.

He placed the notebook on his scrawny left leg and the pen behind his floppy right ear. He raised his hand and began to wipe his tears from his face. The old man began to cry, but the cry was silent so no one could hear. The tears were gushing down his grey bushy facial hair. His blue lips moved gently as he whispered: "Oh God, how I wish I could have one more chance. If I could do it over, I know I would do it differently."

Now the old man took his hat off and placed it on his lap and sighed once again. He appeared to have stopped crying, and once again went into a blank stare. The old man had a desire to share his pain, tragedies and disappointments of his life. His urge to share was so powerful, but something was holding him back. He was not sure what that something was. He knew that that something was fear, yet not sure what he was afraid of. Was the fear of acknowledging his failures, his weaknesses, his sadness, or the greatest fear of all - the fear of unleashing something - something huge, powerful and very violent that he may not be able to tame?

"What if I unleash this beast - the beast that has been caged and guarded for years? What if this beast is ME now?"

The last thought scared the old man. The old man did not make a sound, he did not make a move but continued to stare. This time the stare was short and the old man regrouped. He was ready now to open the cage and release the beast. He picked up the notebook, took the pen from behind his ear and began to write once again.

"Who am I? What have I become? What have I done? What choices did I have? Hundreds of innocent lives were taken. Hundreds of young boys and girls died as they sang the national anthem. These lives were in my hands. Oh God, I did have a choice, it is so clear to me now that the choice was mine. The choice I made was a selfish and cruel one, and now I am faced with the truth that I am unable to bear." As the old man dropped the notebook and the pen, he grabbed his chest and began to grasp for air. He did not make a sound nor did he call for help, but gently fell on his right side.

The little girl saw the old man fall to the ground. She ran to see the old man. The little girl was not sure if the old man was resting or sleeping. She sat beside him. She picked up the old man's hand, held it tightly against her soft rosy cheek and said: "Grandpa, grandpa, wake up grandpa. Let's go home grandpa. You are cold, let's go home grandpaaaa, grandpaaaaaaaa, please grandpa let's go home!" The little girl began to cry for she knew something was not the way it was supposed to be.

Be Not Afraid, Ye of Midlife

2007-10-12T00:23:00.000-07:00

Be Not Afraid, Ye of Midlife

Millions of people face huge changes in their lives during the midlife years and most seem to be glad they made the changes, but only if they've faced their own longings for meaning with integrity. Midlife can be defined as anywhere from 35 to 60, but usually comes on around the mid-forties or later. It's built into our psyches, just as other developmental stages at other ages are pre-programmed. Not everyone will experience it as an apparent period of change, though. Some women, and men too, just sense a slight change of priorities, values and perhaps a slight adjustment of goals if they recognize their midlife dilemmas at all. If you're one of the ones that are turning your life upside down, be not afraid.

An external event; divorce, a child leaving home, changes on the job, a death of a parent or friend or something else may trigger your midlife crisis, or it may be nothing but your thoughts driving you into making huge changes. We all resist change, to some degree. It can be scary; especially if you don't know what it is you're longing for exactly or you are committed or somewhat satisfied in the life you're living.

So, what is the question we face as we enter midlife? Well, there isn't usually just one. There are many for a lot of people. What is the meaning of my life? Who am I really? Am I living the best possible life for me? What if I do this now, or that now? What do I want or feel I need? What do I need to be the most content, the most satisfied with my life?

Be not afraid. These are excellent questions to ask yourself. As human beings, we need to ask ourselves these questions in order to grow. If you're a woman, you may be more open to the idea of personal growth. For traditional western men, though, in particular, the idea of growth may be resisted with a vengeance.

Resistance to growth can cause as much havoc, maybe more, in one's life than otherwise just settling down to a good, long think about those critical questions of midlife. Take the man who spends the family savings on a new Mercedes convertible or takes up with the pretty, young secretary. Please take him, as a female Rodney Dangerfield might say. Probably without being really aware of it, these men avoid the real issues and just act. Unfortunately, when they've usually lost the people who really love them the most, their savings and maybe their careers, they look back with great sorrow and recognize their failures. Women sometimes do the same thing; buy the fancy car, make a big career change, join the Peace Corps or move to Tahiti, and regrets will be their legacy if they haven't done their real work of sorting out the questions.

So, how do we know if we've really answered our inner midlife questions with honesty and integrity? We don't, not with any empirical certainty. That's where a lot of us get stuck. Some of us just give up and quietly weather the internal storm without making any changes to our lives. Others of us just react to our feelings without really thinking. Where a lot of us get stuck and into the most trouble, creating a huge and messy midlife crisis, is in not recognizing that it is what we think that causes our feelings. For instance, if I think my husband is just an old codger, I've given up on him and won't think as well about how I might understand him better and communicate better with him. If Bill thinks his secretary is sexier than his wife and he wants to revitalize himself sexually, he may make the play for the secretary, may even call it love. These are tricks of the mind.

The key for many people who make it through the midlife years without causing too much damage to themselves and others, and often make better lives for themselves, is recognizing that midlife is a stage and must be addressed with that one essential question, "What do I know, in my heart of hearts, will be the most meaningful path for my life now?" If you believe in God, this question may be better phrased as, "What does God really want of me?" Not to make it sound like an easy question, but this is the query that needs to be seriously considered, often for months or even years. This takes a healthy respect for your own intuitive sense, your spiritual side, or for God. What will be the most meaningful, or provide the most lasting, satisfaction for me? How will I feel about my life, looking back from my deathbed?

The surest way to avoid the question is to make superficial changes or refuse to change at all. The new car, a change of wardrobe, the pretty secretary or a quick move to the beaches of Tahiti won't give many, if any, of us that meaning we long for in midlife. Pulling in the reins and clamming up to shut out the question doesn't work for most either. While the Mercedes may give you some type of joy for awhile, it's the same as eating a box of chocolates when you're anxious or sad. The benefits don't last and the downside can be painful.

Resolving a midlife crisis with integrity also means sharing the process with your life partner, if you have one. Going it alone, when you have committed to a life partnership, unfairly excludes the partner. It's, to put it plainly and simply, cheating. This takes really opening up with your partner. It means you must share all of the questions whirling about in your head and heart. Whether the partner can and will choose to join you in the process and whether it means you stay together or split the sheets, you will at least know you're headed on the path that is meant for you. If it means you have to part, then, it's your responsibility alone to find and live your meaningful life. It will be your partner's responsibility to do the same for him or her self. If you have honestly tried your best to share it, you won't have to live with the destruction, guilt and grief afterwards. If she or he does join you on the quest, you're likely to find that you've done the best possible thing for yourself, your partner and your partnership while finding your path.

Be not afraid. While it may mean big changes, a midlife crisis that is resolved by recognizing the real answer to the meaning of your life, and then making that meaning your active life purpose, is a life lived well.

I Believe In Man

2007-10-12T00:22:00.000-07:00

I Believe In Man

I have a deep and abiding belief that there lies within every person the capacity for greatness. I don't mean the old adage that you can become anything you want to be -- I'm more receptive to Peter F. Drucker's admonition to not "waste time trying to put in what the creator left out." But the potential of almost every person is far above his or her level of achievement. That so few rise to their potential does not in any way diminish the validity of this belief. We often see some obscure person rise apparently from nowhere to leadership of a cause or a movement, giving proof to the idea that this capacity lies dormant within each and every one of us.

We've been conditioned by life and by the authority figures we grew up with to recognize and accept ourselves as we are, with severe restrictions on our abilities. We were taught to accept our role and station in life without whining, that the ability to accept and endure our lot shows strength and character. So long as we are prepared to go through life accepting that which fate has thrust upon us as our ordained destiny, so too are we condemned, by our own resignation, our own self depreciation, to the ranks of mediocrity. Others may put me down but the choice to stay down is mine alone.

If we can find within ourselves the courage to challenge fate, to say to her and to the entire world, "I am not ordinary. I will not accept that it is my destiny to live out my life in a humdrum existence, doing things of little consequence, never dreaming, never daring to reach for more.", then we have forced open the door to, at least the possibility of greatness. Leadership writer Paul J. Meyers said, " there is in our world a vast storehouse of plenty which is approached by some with a steam shovel, by others with a tea spoon."

"What", you ask, "if I spend my entire life in pursuit of this fantastic dream yet never achieve it? I will feel robbed, cheated, let down, betrayed."

Who suffers the worse fate, the man who fights to no avail with every fibre of his being for that in which he truly believes or the man who spends his life whining, "I could have been a contender"? "Man's goals should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for." (Robert Browning )

Of all the peoples in the world we, who live in Canada and The United States -- countries built on and by the impossible dreams of men and women of vision and courage, determined to soldier on in the face of horrendous odds -- have the least excuse for believing in our limitations, for accepting our fate. With the hundreds of larger than life legends in our heritage, how can we dare to not believe in our own incredible potential?

All of us in North America, indeed throughout the world, must relearn this ability to "dream the impossible dream" and to bring to bear the necessary resources, belief, determination and courage to make our dreams come true.

Raw Love

2007-10-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

Raw Love

We are all different. We are all the same. Whereas you have uniqueness that manifests through the expression of your values via your behaviours, attitudes, intelligence, and creativity. At the root you seek love and yet, experience resistance to the fullest expression of love. I have been wrestling with the complexity of love for a long time. What I have discovered has astonished me.

You ache deeply in your heart for love in your life, hoping for fulfillment through another and yet, that love begins with self. The expression of that loving energy, central in your being must be released fully to embrace yourself, your gifts, your life, and your interactions in the world. That fullest expression and sensation is an expansion within that feels like the chest is being torn asunder. It is suppressed because it is difficult to contain and that is important to notice. It is not meant to be contained.

Love is to be expanded and allowed to flow out. In coming to terms with this, allowing the discomfort of such a raw emotional power pressing outward from the chest, it will become familiar and less uncomfortable. It's powerful and passionate force will fill up your life with meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. It is the contender. It is the purpose. It will bring the manifestation of all that you are and are here to be. It will draw the right circumstances, people, and relationships into your life that will enrich your experience.

Raw Love

That fullness of love is vulnerable and it causes you to fear. But the fear is a prison preventing the very thing that you desire; the deepest experience of love and the fullest life you seek to enjoy. Being vulnerable comes with the full emotional range of grief, pain, and disappointment that comes from loving others. People will continue to be human and err. Rather than shut-down, embrace the pain and love the hurting inner child of innocent love. Forgive, not just the trespasser but also that inner child. With forgiveness offer love and through the pain watch it subside into comfort. Continue to bring life through love and forgiveness and witness the power to transform lives; yours and those you impact.

continue to be human and err. Rather than shut-down, embrace the pain and love the hurting inner child of innocent love. Forgive, not just the trespasser but also that inner child. With forgiveness offer love and through the pain watch it subside into comfort. Continue to bring life through love and forgiveness and witness the power to transform lives; yours and those you impact.

What are You Creating?

2007-10-12T00:20:00.000-07:00

What are You Creating?

Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit you down, and ask: 'How will you use your unique gifts in the world? Did they even explore the term 'unique gift' with you?

And what about your relationships?

The term 'soul-mate' sounds like a wonderful concept, doesn't it?

But did anyone point out to you that it would be impossible for your soul mate to discover your soul, before you discovered your own soul for yourself?

And what about our own children? What are we teaching them?

We'd love them to thrive, be prosperous and go out into the world with confidence. Yet if we lacked an inspirational teacher or important advice from a parent, how can we expect our children to achieve greater richness and abundance than we manage?

Clearly there is a need for us all to seek greater wisdom, be that for ourselves or for a youngster. Lost and unclear where to go for such advice we often turn to a friend or family member and ask for their advice.

But what happens?

Often they have a preconceived idea about the problem based on their own experience. They impart their well-meaning advice based on their view of reality. But what do you get if you listen to their advice?

Their life?

If their life is something you admire and is full of the happiness and abundance you crave, then perhaps the advice might be okay. But it's probably true that most of the people we turn to for advice are our peers. And by definition they're probably doing no better than we are.

So what can you do?

If you are single or discontented in your relationship (and even if you are not), my answer is simple. Find out who you are. If you do this then finding the right work and the right relationship becomes simple.

Why?

Because you're finding who you are and using this as a navigational tool, everything will slot into place so much easier. Sure you'll have b

What are You Creating?

Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit you down, and ask: 'How will you use your unique gifts in the world? Did they even explore the term 'unique gift' with you?

And what about your relationships?

The term 'soul-mate' sounds like a wonderful concept, doesn't it?

But did anyone point out to you that it would be impossible for your soul mate to discover your soul, before you discovered your own soul for yourself?

And what about our own children? What are we teaching them?

But what happens?

Their life?

So what can you do?

Why?

Because you're finding who you are and using this as a navigational tool, everything will slot into place so much easier. Sure you'll have bumps, but when we're on the right path, life is so much happier.

And if you have a family, what can you do?

As a step-parent, I came to the conclusion that our family needed to be gelled. For that we had to look at the purpose of the family. The heads of the family need to impart the wisdom in the home, no Barnie Bear and Homer Simpson. And that meant changes in the home. Tough changes!

Like no TV?

For us, yes; no game stations, no game boys, mobile phone texting or any electronic device from Monday to Friday. Of course if you're going to remove these things, you have to replace them.

And you replace them with ...

You.

We got creative in the kitchen, made fun out of cooking, experimenting with the children, seeing what we could make from the ingredients they got out the cupboards, made housework entertaining and imparted little bits of wisdom while teaching life skills. We're a long way from perfect but we are practicing and having fun with it all the time.

Done well, with the emphasis on fun rather than getting the job done these simple ideas bring a family together like you won't believe.

umps, but when we're on the right path, life is so much happier.

And if you have a family, what can you do?

Like no TV?

For us, yes; no game stations, no game boys, mobile phone texting or any electronic device from Monday to Friday. Of course if you're going to remove these things, you have to replace them.

And you replace them with ...

You.

Done well, with the emphasis on fun rather than getting the job done these simple ideas bring a family together like you won't believe.

Clarity of Vision

2007-10-12T00:19:00.000-07:00

Clarity of Vision

Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with windows covered in Vaseline - or try walking around for a day with prescription glasses that aren't your own. You might find it very difficult to function and get where you'd like to go - even when your ability to think is perfect. That's where clarity of vision comes in.

Most people are born with an enormous potential to think and be. We've had roughly the same potential thousands of years ago that the greatest scientists use now to unlock the secrets of the universe and spark revolutionary inventions. The difference now is our knowledge - the knowledge of how to use our potential that's been laying dormant for thousands of years.

The secrets of the universe have always been there. The possibility for invention has always existed. It was the evolution of knowledge that allowed us to access more of our potential that made the difference. Ideas exist right now that could make you a billion dollars by next year! Right now these ideas exist, right this very second. They wait for the right person with enough knowledge to pluck them from the sky and turn a flash of insight into a tangible solution.

The very fact that we have the power to unlock a potential vastly greater than we've ever been exposed to might still be hard to comprehend. Imagine the irony of a hairy grunting caveman emerging from his cave to stare up at the stars, and having the physical resources to build a space ship that could land on the moon. It's almost unfathomable - yet it happened, very slowly, over many generations.

Imagine yourself now as a modern caveman. Look up at the stars and try to comprehend what secrets you might be able to unlock in your short lifetime - a journey that might seem unfathomable at this time.

You of course don't have as much time to make things right as Evolution does. If a messed up person is born into the world, evolution has more people to compensate for the defect. Evolution has plenty of time to correct herself and plenty of people (over six billion in the world) to spread out the defects so that progression still takes place. On a micro scale as individuals we have just one lifetime and roughly 80 - 100 years to work out own defects.

Once knowledge is gained outside its original confinements, the sphere of understanding has expanded, never to return to its original state. That is the essence of progression. Every new thought, every new perspective, ever new invention takes us past a point we cannot return to. We may fight it (like the dark ages), but inevitably the world takes the shape of its most expanded state (like the Renaissance until today).

Clarity of vision gives us focus. That focus sets us on a course far outside our current sphere of understanding. As our knowledge expands significantly - so does our life progression. It is inevitable that with significant progression we should experience significant reward. Our end destination may be so unfathomable at present that we can only journey there in our imaginations. We may laugh at the future we create for ourselves, and certainly those around us in our present circumstances might laugh at our ambitions. Much like we'd laugh at the caveman if he said some day someone in his family would land on that mysterious orb of light called the moon. But the moon was a real objective. We could always see it. It was out in front of us generation after generation taunting us. It was inevitable that it had to be explored. You can be sure it won't stop there either - we will eventually conquer Mars. It is in man's nature to visit and "conquer" every possible destination in the world and beyond.

So we now have the understanding of man's ambition to conquer every real and visible destination before us. We can use this understanding to create a very real and tangible vision that looms over us like the mysterious light of the moon. A destination so clear the mind can't tell whether it's real or imaginary. A destination so vivid and enticing the mind can't help but desire to conquer it.

It is in the clarity of vision we discover the root of motivation. The small steps we take today lead us to a tomorrow we could have only imagined. And here we discover the future for what it really is. A figment of our imagination - nothing more than a prediction based on present day facts. Predictions based on logical guessing. And a guess is all we have to influence the future.

If you guess where you'll be with a hazy idea - you're right! Your life will be clouded and you'll reach a hazy destination, not sure if you've made it or if you're still climbing. The mind may tirelessly seek for something to conquer but it finds nothing more than a misty haze of hills and valleys. Searching for something but not quite sure what it is.

If you guess (or craft a guess as a goal) with a very clear idea, you might at first laugh at the prediction. That's because it's based on present day facts. The fact that you live in a motor home with $50 in the bank makes the prediction of having $10 million dollars in 5 years ridiculous. But you have the power to change the factoring. For example if you live in a motor home with $50 in the bank but you study at Harvard Business School - that might make the prediction of achieving $10 million in 5 years more realistic. By adding just one fact to the circumstance you influenced the logical conclusion. On a side note even if you couldn't afford Harvard Business School you could create the equivalent by accessing cheaper but well researched forms of education around you.

You have control over a variety of present day factors that allow you to influence your future's logical conclusion. But the only way to really take control is by getting clear on what you want. For instance you wouldn't go to Harvard Business School if you really wanted to become a Nun. You've got to be clear on your destination to take the right steps on getting there.

Once your vision becomes real things may seem to pop up out of nowhere that will bring you closer to your once impossible goal. Don't be fooled, this isn't magic. You've just started to see the road signs that lead you to your ultimate destination. This only happens with focus. And you can only focus on something you can clearly see. British mountaineer George Leigh Mallory was once asked why he wanted to climb Mount Everest, and replied, 'Because it's there'.

What Do You Do?

2007-10-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

What Do You Do?

When I go out and talk to business people, I hear them talking about all the things they do from day to day. They talk about the problems they have and their frustrations with a whole variety of things they do. Invariably I find myself thinking: why do they do these things in the first place. As an extreme example, if you had your hand in a flame and it was burning, you would move it wouldn't you? So why not do something about the things that cause you stress and frustrate you?

What do you actually do for a living? How do you or your organization actually make money? What are you core skills? These are questions all of us should be asking ourselves all the time. I'd like to make a friendly bet with you. I'd like you to stop right now and make a quick list of your core skills. Now make a second list of the ways you actually make money or gain benefit. Please just take a quick 5 minutes and do this. When you are done, take a few more minutes and make a list of the things you actually do during your working day. Now comes the bet. I bet if you compare the lists you will easily find several things you do regularly that have nothing to do with your core skills.

Did I win the bet?

The point to this exercise is to make you aware that you do a lot of things every day that you are not well suited to and that don't actually earn you money. Just about now you are probably saying "yes but these things need to be done". That is probably true. I say probably because I'm pretty sure you will find something on your list that really isn't all that important. Something you keep doing out of habit that you have just stopped thinking about it.

There are so many things we spend time on that are neither enjoyable, necessary or revenue generating! You will be amazed when you stop and analyze your activities, at how much of your time and energy is spent on these tasks. Now is probably a good time to break these tasks down into categories. Look back at your list and sort them into things that don't need to be done, things that are questionable and finally, jobs that need to be done but are not your core skills. Interesting exercise isn't it?

Half the battle is just being aware of the things you do. When you are aware of them you have a fighting chance of eliminating or reorganizing the real time wasters. The other half is figuring out the best way to get the other tasks done. The ones that you are not suited to, the jobs that frustrate you, the jobs you dislike and that depress you and cause stress.

Let me ask you to do another little exercise. How much money do you want to earn? Now, how much is that by the hour? Finally, let's have a look at our lists and think about whether someone would pay you your hourly rate to do these jobs for them. Sort out the list again into jobs that are worth your hourly rate and ones that are not. You should be starting to see which things are at least financially sensible for you to do yourself and which ones are obviously not.

Life is not all about money. Now that you have a reasonable idea about which of your frustrating little jobs are worth your hourly rate, let's look at it from another perspective. There are some things that cause us so much stress that they are generally counter productive. You hate doing those jobs and they foul up your day. They ruin your mood and frustrate you. Does this sound like a good space to be in? Do you think you are operating at your best when you feel like this? Unless you have a lot more discipline than the average person, the answer is pretty likely to be no.

A friend of mine that I talk things through with occasionally frequently straightens me out with one simple approach. When he catches me complaining about something I hate doing, he asks me if I feel good. Of course I say no. Then he says to me that it's okay to carry on if I like feeling bad but if I don't like feeling bad I might consider stopping. At this point I usually laugh and stop complaining or I feel pretty stupid. I mean, he's right isn't he? All I have to do to improve my mood and perhaps even my life is stop doing the things that upset me.

It's amazing how simple it is. We just have to be aware of what we do and make some conscious decisions about whether it makes us happy or is sensible for us to do. I think most of us are such creatures of habit that we forget that we actually have the ability to change the things that bother and frustrate us.

Here is a specific example I'm going to use because it is such an important issue. One of the big things people take on that tends to be really time consuming, frustrating and potentially devastating, is looking after their own computer equipment, software and all the related jobs it entails. It also happens to be one of the jobs that almost none of us are properly trained for and consequently we are just not good enough at it. Computer technology has become incredibly complex. Increasingly these days, technology is so important to our method of earning a living that we simply must get it right to succeed. So you really should be asking yourself if it makes any sense to be doing it yourself, shouldn't you? Why would you want to take on something so important to your success when it is pretty likely not on your list of core competences? This happens to be an example where the fact that it costs you more than your own hourly rate to get it done, might not even matter

So let's summarize. There are many things we do that have such a negative effect on us that they are simply not worth doing. There are even some things that we should not be doing simply because they are just too important to us and we are not really competent to do them. If we get someone better suited to the job, to do it for us, we will probably discover that we are enjoying what we do to make a living again and perhaps even improve our lives in general. We may even find out what we have been missing!

One last thing I'd like to cover is the mental arguments that inevitably arise whenever this subject is raised. Here are a few examples;

· "I can't afford to get someone else to do it",

· "I know I hate doing it but I don't trust anyone else to look after this",

· "I've always done it this way".

I'm sure there are plenty more you can add to this list. It is essential that you address these thoughts and not just accept them. Otherwise nothing will change. The things that are having a negative effect on you will keep on holding you back.

This article is all about being aware. I am not trying to tell you to re-create your whole new universe with a big bang. I am however, suggesting that you can get great results by occasionally reviewing the things you do.

Who Do You Want to Meet?

2007-10-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

Who Do You Want to Meet?

One of the goals that I encourage my clients to work on is to create a list of people they wish to meet.

What kind of people?

People who inspire them! (a religious leader)

People who they admire! (a person who gives with all their heart!)

People who they would love to interview! (a newsmaker)

People whose books they've read! (who is YOUR favorite author?)

People who they'd love to cook dinner for! (a famous chef maybe?)

When I heard about this technique I wasn't really sure I believed it, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try - so I made my list. I won't share the whole list with you - but I will share three people who were on it that I have met, had time to speak with in depth, and who I really learned from and was inspired by!

The first one was an American P.O.W. (Prisoner of War) during the Vietnam War named Dave Carey. I had read about Dave when I was a teenager and was amazed by his story of survival as a prisoner for five years in Hanoi's infamous "Hanoi Hilton" prison camp. He created mind games, and intellectual tools of survival that allowed him to come out of that situation as an inspiration to millions of people. Today he is an author, speaker and consultant.

How did I meet Dave? When I began my own speaking career I was asked by the Sacramento Speakers Bureau to speak to the Sacramento Chamber of Commerce about "Doing Business on the Internet". I was excited to be in California, and even more excited to find out that Dave Carey was also there, and he would be speaking too! The morning of our event I came to the dining room for breakfast, at the hotel where the event was being held. It was fairly quiet as I had gotten there early. I got a plate of food from the buffet table, and sat down by myself. Just as I took a sip of juice, a man asked, "mind if I join you?" You guessed it! It was Dave Carey! We had a wonderful breakfast together - sharing conversation about our families and our lives. He was a true hero, and a real gentleman.

When I came home from that trip I was able to put a check mark beside Dave's name on my list of "People I Want to Meet". You can find out more about Dave at his website www.DaveCarey.com

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Two of the other people on my list I got to meet on the same day!

I'm sure many of you know about the VERY famous "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books (one of the most successful book series ever created). The creators - Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were also on my "List of People to Meet" because, like them I love to write - and I want to inspire people with what I do!

Every year, the United States book industry has two large events to highlights it's newest offerings - one is held on the East Coast, and one on the West Coast. In 1998 I got a call from a client who asked if I would go to Los Angeles and interview authors about their newest books at the book show happening there.

Would I go??

Of course I went!

I'm someone who usually reads 1-2 books a week, and at these events you get FREE books, besides getting to meet the authors. I did get to meet BOTH Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen - they were both great men - they were very kind - answered all my questions and even gave me some tips on getting my own books published!

A Fun Way To Make A Living

2007-10-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

A Fun Way To Make A Living

"You must be willing to do the things today others won't do, in order to have the things tomorrow others won't have."
-Les Brown

I had planned to spend that Saturday morning quietly at home with my family. Then the phone rang. It was Richie Dayo Johnson, the president of my club, Croydon Toastmasters. "Dayo, Les Brown is in town, he is speaking in Brixton in 45 minutes. Do you want to attend? I'll pick you in 5 minutes". I accepted because that was an opportunity that I couldn't afford to slip away. Next to Brown, the best black speaker I have ever come across is Richie, a PR & media strategist and an accomplished Master of Ceremony.

To attend a Brown seminar in the US you will need a minimum of £1,000 and here was an opportunity to attend one for free.

Having read two of his books, Live Your Dreams and It's Not Over Until You Win, Brown's story never ceased to fascinate me.

He is a self-made man. His life has been the quintessential tale of triumph over adversity. Brown and his twin brother were abandoned in a poverty-stricken Miami neighbourhood by their parents when he was just six weeks old. Adopted by Mamie Brown, a kitchen worker and maid, he was placed in special education because of his hyperactivity. From his youth, Brown was told that he would not amount to anything. Teachers labelled him a "slow learner," leaving him with a determination to prove them wrong. Brown knew he didn't lack talent and intelligence, the problem was the inability of those around him to recognise and draw out those qualities.

Brown had no formal education beyond high school, but with persistence and determination he has initiated a process of unending self-education which has distinguished him as an authority on harnessing human potential. His passion for learning and his hunger for greatness in himself and others have paid off. He rose from a hip-talking morning DJ to broadcast manager; from community activist to community leader; from political commentator to three-term legislator; and from a banquet and nightclub emcee to premier keynote speaker.

Whether Brown is speaking to a group of high school students or corporate executives, his effect on the audience is the same. "People cannot come and hear me and walk away the same. They cannot go back to the same old safe, unmotivated, don't care person anymore," he claims. His high-energy message is rooted largely in personal experience and tells people how to shed mediocrity and live up to their potential.

These are the things Brown shared with us that Saturday morning. Each of us can achieve far beyond our horizons in avenues of life we have never explored; each of us has some basic goodness, which is the foundation for the greatness we can ultimately achieve; each of us must take responsibility for our actions, our well being and the attainment of our maximum potential; self-awareness, self-approval and self commitment are necessary for self-fulfilment; building and maintaining relationships is critical to social development both in the family and the community; mutual respect is the fundamental element of human relations; we heighten our lives when we help others heighten theirs; planning, measuring and executing are critical tools in the manifestation of our beliefs and each of us must model integrity in the making and keeping of our commitments.

Brown invites us all to be prepared to take risks, to find our special paths to greatness. "I think that what you should do is be willing to experiment with your life. Try a variety of things until you find out what fits you. Even when I found speaking, I got a lot of compliments and feedback from people that said I had a good voice, and "I like hearing you talk". Still, I have been a photographer, I've been a state legislator, I've done public relations work, I was a political strategist, I've been a talk show host, I've been a production manager at a radio station, I managed the radio station, I was an individual that put together sales teams that went door to door selling products, I used to be a master's of ceremonies of entertainment, I used to book shows, I've done a variety of things just to find out what else I could do".

I feel in life, that you have to feel your way through it. I have always searched for that special something that makes me feel like I have the "Midas Touch" and it resonates with me. When I have that feeling, I know I can do it seven days a week and never be bothered by it. I'm talking about a career that you love so much you would do it for nothing - but you do it so well that people will pay you to do it.

So, I love to do a lot of things. I found that I was a "Jack of all trades and master of none" and then finally one day I sat down and said, "What is it that I've gotten the most compliments for? What is it that I can do seven days a week that can create the most value for people as well as for me? That's when I came up with speaking and I said that's where I'm going to drop my bucket. That's where I'm going to put all of my focus and energy." That is Les Brown, world-renowned speaker, successful entrepreneur and best selling author for you. So what trade are you going to be a jack of?

How To Use Affirmations To Create Prosperity?

2007-10-12T00:10:00.000-07:00

How To Use Affirmations To Create Prosperity?

Dear Internet friend. Each human being is an incredible piece of sowtware. Each one of us has been "programmed" in a certain way. This program runs our lives 24 hours a day, and will govern our entire life.

But who was the programmer? Of course you were not alone in it, it was a "joint venture" between you and the society. By society, I mean, your parents, friends, teachers, coleagues etc. Your program runs every aspect of your life, right from your physical appearance to the amount of money you earn. In this article I will discuss how this program affects your money matters. The part of the program which decides your financial success is called as "Money Consciousness".

In a single sentence I would say that "you will earn how much you believe you can earn." This clearly means that you have programmed yourself to earn the amount of money you are earning now. There is a code running constantly in your mind which governs your actions when you try to earn money. It is your belief system about the whole aspect of money which decides your financial fortune.

A person with "poor" money consciousness has an underlying emotion about money and that's "fear". Fear of losing money is what governs their financial ability.

These people always think that there is never enough money with me, and their mind picks up the message, which reflects in outward reality.

There is one more major emotion, which drives their mind. They think that earning too much money is bad or money brings problems with it. So they never think about the possibilities money can bring in their lives, and accept a conservative lifestyle.

Our mind is like a magnet. It will attract exactly the same circumstances and opportunities which are in tune with what we believe to be true. So if a person believes money is bad, his mind will recreate exactly the same situations in his real world experience which will reaffirm his belief that "money is bad."

In such a way this person goes on believing day after day and keeps himself away from all the riches which he probably deserves.

Now the question is, is there any way to get out this? Of course and the answer is AUTOSUGGESTIONS.

What are autosuggestions?

Autosuggestion is a technique to train your mind either consciously or unconsciously to believe a particular statement to be true. Autosuggestions can be used to "reprogram" whatever we have been learning from the day we were born and mould ourselves to believe a new set of "commands" to a paint a new picture of ourselves and eventually the world around us.

If we use the techniques of autosuggestion to change the false beliefs about money, it directly affects our financial situation. If used positively a person can start changing his financial situations in as less as one month.

There are many methods by which this can be easily done. I will discuss one method here.

Put posters on walls of your bedroom, with affirmative statements. This poster(s) should be clearly visible to you. You can also use the same poster in you office or the place your work. The bottom line is your mind must be kept alarmed about a new command more often until it starts believing it to be true.

If you can convince your mind to obey the new affirmation then you are done. If used positively autosuggestions can be an excellent way to take charge of our lives to in any unhappy situation.

Remember that never use negative statements. Because your mind will believe it to be true and recreate the reality which is negative for you. There are two major point you should remember while framing your affirmations or autosuggestions.

1)Always use "I" in your statement
2)Keep the statement in present tense.

Thus autosuggestions can be used to change any unhappy situation in our life such as personal relationships, finances, health, bad habits etc.

Looking to Where the Grass is Greener?

2007-10-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

Looking to Where the Grass is Greener?

I've written this article specifically for individuals contemplating change with the idea of making things better, brighter and different. This change could be anything from relationship/s, career, to relocating somewhere else (having a sea change is an example). It could also be in the form of personal development through attending courses, reading and networking.

Whatever it is for you, it may possibly be that what you're searching for is available to you right now, with no need to look very far. It's called inner peace and with it comes a change of perspective - looking at life in a different way. A state of being that will allow you to 'get on with it' regardless of what's happening in your external environment.

Basically, inner peace is a state of mind where you're not impacted by external circumstances, you simply just 'are'. Whenever I step into peace no issue agitates me, I have no attachment to anything; I just am. Quite simply, it's peaceful, serene.

Inner peace? It sounds pretty clichéd I know, but it is just that, peace on the inside whilst around you chaos reigns. For me the inside bit is the place I'd rather be. I liken it to watching a game of football from a front row seat. I can see how I relate to others and them to me, in my social, work, spiritual, and family life. I can also see the never ending possibilities of what life has to offer. This is where I get the big picture stuff.

It's a place I love visiting to rebalance, regenerate, and centre myself. When I return and again become aware of my physical environment, the clarity to see how things really are is almost blinding. Clarity: when there is total clearness about everything and anything. It's when actions are totally understood as well as the consequences of those actions.

I've personally yearned for change and have observed others with same. This desire for change can become all encompassing and when change fails to happen the way we'd like it to, or thought it would be, the disappointment can lead to hopelessness and in some ways be emotionally crippling.

The adage 'The grass is greener on the other side of the fence' is not necessarily true. I've been there done that, although I failed to buy the t-shirt. All I needed mostly was a different way of looking at my situation.

If you're contemplating creating major change in your life think carefully about why you want it in the first place. Maybe a different perspective is all the change that's required.

Give yourself some time to truthfully answer and reflect on the following questions:

1. What would happen if I started to create change for myself?

2. What would happen if I left things unchanged?

3. Who will I become through having that change happen?

4. What needs to happen for me to truly get the most out of life?

5. Where will I be, and what will I be doing once I've changed what I wanted to?

6. How will this change affect your family and other areas of your life?

7. What would happen if you changed your attitude?

8. If you didn't change your attitude what would happen?

9. What is it that I need to do now in order to enjoy life the way it is?

10. Will it be worth it?

11. What will I lose?

12. What will I gain?

13. What are all the positive outcomes if I do not create change? (There's always a positive, even when we perceive something as negative).

I had a huge 10 year goal until recently. After I jotted down all the positive outcomes if I didn't pursue my dream, I sighed with relief. It was much better for me and the family, not to have this particular outcome.

Change can be challenging and scary. What was known before becomes outdated, friendships are outgrown, new ones are formed, and if things were comfortable previously, now it's time to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Adjustment takes time. Learning to access inner peace can take time too.

Some people fully immerse themselves in the change process, whereby others may take a little while longer and that's ok too. It's different for each of the six billion people on this planet.

May change in whatever form you choose bring you success and abundance in all things great and wonderful.